No child of mine
by aprileagle
Summary: COMPLETE! Michiru searched for a long time for her Uranus in vain. The senshi of wind never woke up. So she has to take care for baby Hotaru all on her own after they were able to defeat Mistress 9 without Uranus. Until one night...
1. Prologue: Sleep tight

The key to my survival

Was never in much doubt

The question was how I could keep sane

Trying to find a way out

Things were never easy for me

Peace of mind was hard to find

And I needed a place where I could hide

Somewhere I could call mine

He sat me down to talk to me

He looked me straight in the eyes

He said:

You're no son, no son of mine

You're no son, no son of mine

You walked out, you left us behind

And you're no son, no son of mine

Genesis

**Note by the author:**

This is another story about Haruka and Michiru. It was a sunny day, the birds were singing and I suddenly asked myself: What would happen if Uranus would have never awake at all. Well, here comes my answer.

Disclaimer: Haruka, Michiru and the rest of the Sailor Team belongs to Naoko Takeuchi. The story is mine.

The lines above are from the song No son of mine from Genesis. Hell, I love this song so much (and for over 7 years now, unbelievable!). It's the saddest song Genesis ever wrote and for the most of the fans it's the most favourite song (as I got to know during a concert in 1998, this song was the first they sung and the audience couldn't stop to yell, to sing and to applaud).

The song Love Town mentioned in chapter 3 is owned by Peter Gabriel. While writing the story I listened to the soundtrack of Philadelphia and suddenly the lines I listened to fitted perfectly.

If you want to tell me what you thought about the story, write to aprileaglefreenet.de . I'll answer, I promise.

**No child of mine**

**( By April Eagle )**

**Prologue: Sleep tight**

"DEEP SUBMERGE!"

The small planet evolved in her hands and she threw it with all her powers. But at the same moment she knew that she was too weak to defeat the youma. It jumped aside and laughed rudely as the planet missed it's deformed body and crashed into the huge wall of the building that used to be Mugen Gakkuen, the best and most expensive school of Tokyo. Her former home.

"Shit!" she swore and gasped hard for breathe. She was exhausted, tired and very sad.

I am not able to defeat him. Not alone. Not without the other one...

Tears shimmered in her blue eyes while she stumbled towards the youma. Her uniform was torn and her legs hurt. Wounds and scratches covered her now dirty skin and her long sea green hairs were messed.

"I will reign over this planet. Over the whole universe!" screamed a tall woman with long black hairs. Her dark eyes shone victorious while she pointed at a girl in another uniform laying down on the dirty ground.

"And you won't hinder me, Sailor Moon!" screamed the woman who used to be Tomoe Hotaru, daughter of Mugen Gakkuen's founder. His body laid somewhere in the building, too, but there was no time to search for him. To look if he was okay or if he was another victim of Mistress 9.

"Neptune!"

She swirled around and looked into another pale face. The sceptre of time seemed to be too heavy and Sailor Pluto reeled as she stumbled towards the other outer senshi.

"We need her. Now! Otherwise the Holy Grail will never appear and Sailor Moon won't be able to save the world!" She grabbed Neptune's arms and shook her hard. "We have to end our mission, Neptune! Now!" Suddenly tears were running down her cheeks and Neptune looked shocked at a crying Pluto. She had never seen her crying. Not during the whole mission. Not when they discovered that they owned the talismans. Not even when Mistress 9 hurt Chibiusa and the little girl fell into a deep coma she would probably never awake out again.

"I searched for her, Sets." Declared Neptune with a shaky voice and didn't think of their secret identity anymore. Why should she hide herself behind a uniform when the whole world was going to end? When they all were going to die?

"I searched for my partner for over three years now. But she's not here. She's not in Japan and I am sure that she's not on this Earth. It's hard to believe, Sets, but the third one wasn't reborn and with her the third talisman is lost." Neptune swallowed hard and looked down at the mirror in her trembling hands. "I searched for her the whole year I was on tour through the whole world but there was no sign of her..." she started quietly to sob and shook her head. Tears were running down her pale face leaving white traces in the dirt. "I simply couldn't find my soul mate. As if she was never be born. As if she's already dead..."

"I'll be the ruler of this world!" Mistress 9 laughed madly and Sailor Moon tried hard to get on her feet again. But she couldn't. She was simply too weak to.

The woman lowered her head and aimed at the future Queen of Crystal Tokyo.

"You'll never cross my way again, Sailor Moon. This is your end!" Mistress 9 laughed again and lights were flying from her hands.

"NO!" Neptune raised her mirror and jumped between the enemy and the future Queen. Pain flashed through her body and she was thrown through the whole room. She crashed against the wall and couldn't move as she hit the ground.

No...

Tears were still running down her cheeks and the pain seemed to fill her whole world. She opened her eyes and her look was blurred. She could see the shadow of Mistress 9 stepping over to Sailor Moon. To kill her. To destroy this planet. To delete the lives of millions of people.

No...

Neptune wanted to get on her feet again, but her body didn't obey. Her right arm hurt so much and she was suddenly sure that it was broken.

Please, where ever you are, awake! We need you here!

Neptune sobbed and gasped hard for breathe. The whole world spun around her and darkness waited at the rim of her eyes. But she fought against it. She didn't want to give in her dizzy feelings. Nor did she want to faint before the whole battle was over. Before they really lost the war.

I need you...

Mistress 9 raised her arms again but there was suddenly another light that filled the dark room. It was golden and the enemy forgot suddenly that she wanted to attack the injured Sailor Moon. She turned around and stared at the person floating inside the golden light. She wore a similar uniform as all senshi. A blade blinked as she raised her sword and pointed over to the demon.

You won't hurt them anymore. She declared and another planet, a golden one, formed in her free hand. Earth shaking! 

It hit Mistress 9 who stumbled some steps back and looked suddenly very exhausted. She hadn't expected another senshi with so many powers left.

"The third talisman!"

Pluto stepped next to the golden light and took it from the appearance. Then she stretched her arms towards the laying senshi of the wide ocean and the mirror floated into her arms.

"At last we're able to full fill our mission." She declared and stepped over to Sailor Moon who was on her knees and gasped hard for breathe. Her blonde hairs fell over her shoulders and her face showed that she was in pain, too. In more pain than she could bare.

"Are.. are you Sailor Uranus?" whispered Neptune and opened her eyes again.

I am so tired.

A thin smile appeared on the other one's face but Neptune couldn't see any details. She saw a tall woman in a senshi uniform with short hairs. What colours did they have? Blonde? Red? Blue? She couldn't define. There was a golden light around her but Neptune was too exhausted to hold her eyes open. So she closed them, feeling how the other one kneeled next to her, taking her into her strong arms.

But at the same time I am so happy.

Everything will be fine. She heard a soft voice in her head. In her mind. There was no voice coming from the other senshi but she simply knew the words Sailor Uranus wanted to tell her. Now Sailor Moon will be able to rescue the world. 

"I missed you so much, Uranus." Whispered Neptune and more tears ran down her cheeks. Soft hands wiped them carefully away.

Gomen, Neptune, but there was no way... The senshi of the wide ocean felt suddenly soft lips on her own. It was a short kiss, but it was the most tender touch the smaller woman had ever experienced. She didn't want it to be over but it was gone before she could reply it.

I don't know if I'll see you again. 

"No, please, don't say such words. I need you, Uranus. You're my soul mate. You can't leave... can't leave me... now. I... I love you..."

There was no reply. Only a soft huge then the other one let her go. Neptune sobbed but was too tired to open her eyes again. She stretched her arm and her hand touched for a last moment Uranus's one.

"I'll wait for you..." she whispered before her voice broke. "As... as long as... I live..."

There were screams in the background and the underground started to tremble. The whole world seemed to shake and Neptune knew that the Holy Grail appeared, at last. And that Sailor Moon used it to rescue the Earth, the people living in it and - surely - Tomoe Hotaru, too.

Gomen nasai... answered the taller senshi in a low, sad voice. Then she was gone. Neptune simply knew it. She felt the hole left in her soul.

Please, stay! How shall I live without you?

But there was no answer.

Please, I don't want to live alone!

Neptune took a deep breathe and let the darkness fell over her body. Over her mind. Over her soul. She could hear the final shouting of Sailor Moon. Then there was a child's scream of birth.

Then there was silence.

She felt the pain flashing through her body. Her head was going to explode and her arms felt as if they were ripped open. Although she wanted to open her eyes, she let them closed pretending as if she was still asleep. Still unconscious.

Why didn't they let me go?

She took a deep breathe and winced as the pain filled her lungs as well.

Why shall I stay in this dirt? In this hell? In this nightmare?

Slowly she moved her head and swallowed hard as she felt the hoses connected to her neck. Connected to her arms. She wanted to move them, too, but she couldn't. Slowly she clenched her fists and recognized that she was bond to the bed she was laying in.

I don't want it anymore...

Tears burned behind her lashes but she wasn't willingly to let them fall. Somewhere there were strange noises, high beeps and she heard a low groan. It took her some seconds before she realized that it was her own voice. It sounded strange in her ears.

The door was pushed open and several persons stepped loudly into the room. But she didn't open her eyes. She didn't want to see him anymore. The world she was still living in. The nightmare that would haunt her down if she didn't get another chance to escape.

"She's your daughter, isn't she, Mister Miller?" asked someone, surely the doctor. She could feel how someone touched her right arm and moved it slightly. The pain was almost more than she could bare but she didn't react.

"It was right in time. She will be okay in about two weeks and then..."

Then I'll be sent back into that institution...

She didn't listen to the conversation any longer. She heard too many of them. She knew that she couldn't change his opinions. She knew she couldn't change her own mind. And she knew too well that she couldn't change time. The past was over and there was no way of healing old wounds...

"She used to be." Answered another voice. A voice she used to love. When she was a small child. When her father still hold her tight. When he supported her with all his forces. When he loved his wife's child.

"Now she's no child of mine anymore!" His voice was so cold she had hardly heard it before. Not even during all those nights he came home. Reeling, shouting. Beating. She heard footsteps going fast towards the exit. A door was closed loudly and the doctor sighed.

"I wish I could do more for you." He whispered and she felt how someone ran a soft hand through her messed hairs. "But I am only a doctor, I can't fulfil miracles." The calming touch stopped and she swallowed hard. Suddenly she felt very alone. So alone she had never been in her whole life before. "Sleep tight, girl. Tomorrow everything will be different. I hope..."

The door was closed for the second time, now a little bit quieter.

"Sure..." she answered but knew that no one could hear her. That there was no one around who still cared about her. That she was really alone. And lost...

She pressed her eyelids hard together and a memory crept into her mind. The memory of a beautiful woman laying on a dirty ground. She had been hurt - because of her. Because she couldn't escape her personal hell. Because she wasn't simply able to help her.

She felt again those soft lips on her own, heard the whisper in her ears: I love you.

Is it real? Is there still someone out there who likes me? Who needs me? Who doesn't turn away from me?

She didn't know. And as the medicine started to do it's job again the memory vanished out of her mind. As if it had never been there.

The young woman in the bed fell asleep again. She didn't open her eyes to see her bandaged arms. To see the hospital room she was laying in. To see the cruel world around her.

So she didn't see the figure standing in the corner. A golden light surrounded her. She was wearing a strange uniform and a sword shimmered light in her strong hands. Tears shone in dark green eyes but she knew that she couldn't help. Not yet. Maybe never.

The appearance stepped closer to the bed and watched the sleeping woman with a sad expression on her face. Then she laid down next to her on the bed and embraced her carefully. With a deep sigh she disappeared into nothing.

Gomen nasai... 

She walked through the long white corridors with determined steps. Her long green hairs were swirling around the long robe she was wearing. The ends of her long night shirt could be seen as she walked upstairs. It was late in the night and she looked a little bit sleepy. The car keys jiggled in her ice cold hands. But there were no other visitors. All the patients slept deep and tight in their rooms and the corridors were almost empty.

"It's been a stroke."

"It was so suddenly."

"We couldn't do anything for him."

"It was over before we could help."

"Gomen nasai, Meio-san."

She heard the voices of the doctors in her head again.

"You're the only one we could call."

"He had no other friends nor other relatives."

"The little girl's an orphan now."

"Gomen nasai, Meio-san."

She heard the voices of the nurses in her head again.

"Sleep tight my baby..."

Setsuna stopped at the door and looked at the young woman sitting on a chair. There was a cradle beside her but it was empty. As the senshi of time stepped closer she could see the sleeping girl in her friend's arms. Rocking her gently. Singing a tender lullaby. The voice was very shaky and as the younger woman raised her head Setsuna could see the tears running down a very pale face.

"Michiru?"

"She's my daughter now." Declared the smaller woman with a quiet sob in her voice and squeezed the sleeping girl a little bit harder. The baby made a disturbed face but didn't awake. It was too nice in her new mother's arms. She felt too safe and too secure to leave the nice dream land.

"I know." Setsuna swallowed hard as she looked into determined blue eyes. Sad eyes. Frightened eyes.

I will raise her and give her all my love.

Michiru looked into her daughter's face again and gave her a careful kiss on the cheek.

"I know." Repeated the senshi of wind and swallowed hard.

They both knew how hard it would get. Especially for Michiru. The other one wasn't awoke yet and even Sailor Moon doubted that she would ever awake at all. They defeated Mistress 9, the danger was over now. There was no need for the last senshi to be reborn.

Guess in this life there won't be a Sailor Uranus.

Setsuna stepped behind Michiru and carefully touched her shaking shoulders with her hands. To hold her. To comfort her. To show her that she still had friend who would help her.

But we can't replace her soul mate.


	2. Chapter 1: Haruka Poppins

**Chapter one: Haruka Poppins**

Rain was falling down from a grey sky. Thick clouds hide the sun and slowly the day changed into dawn. Nothing was heard but the falling of rain drops and the rushing of the near sea. The surface was covered with foam and the ground couldn't be seen. The sand was wet and looked grey, too.

She walked determined through the puddles that formed in the soft underground. Her red boots almost sunk in the water but she didn't stop. She simply kept walking. Not looking out at the wide ocean. Not looking back to the near bending road she left some hours ago. There was no car at this late hour which would take her to her goal.

She raised her head and some strands of her short blonde hair fell in dark green eyes. Even the red hair slides couldn't held it back any longer. Her face was pale and wet, too. There were some traces of make up but it was washed away slowly.

Hope she's at home.

The woman shivered but she had no umbrella. Her red summer dress could hardly warm her shaking body. It had no sleeves and a wide clipping. Her naked legs trembled but she simply went on.

Hope I'll get the job.

Her icy hands held the newspaper tighter. It was crumbled and the print blurred in the rain. There was a circle of a green pen made around an advertisement.

The rain even increased and the curtain before her eyes became thicker. She blinked and took a deep breathe. The rushes of the sea filled her whole world while she took one step after another. Telling herself that this was her last chance. If she didn't get the job, she wouldn't have a place to stay for the next night.

I spent my whole money for that bloody ticket!

She swallowed hard and corrected the rucksack she was wearing over her right shoulder. It was very light. She didn't own much things. Only a book, a teddy bear and some normal clothes. But she didn't want to change. The rain couldn't last the whole night and if she wouldn't get the job she surely would need the dry clothes afterwards. More than now.

It's such a long time ago that I saw the sea for the last time.

For some seconds the dark green eyes looked over to the wild ocean, then she lowered her head again. She shivered again as cold rain ran down her back. The dress was now really wet and couldn't suck any water any more. Her feet were heavier with every step but she forced herself to finish her long journey.

I am crazy!

She shook her head and other strands of blonde hairs fell in her pale face. Slowly she raised her clock and saw that it was broken.

Maybe too much water.

Since she arrived in her ancestor's Country it rained. Although they all said that it was a warm land she froze like hell. In the Country she grew up it was always warm - even in spring. But at the moment nothing remembered her of the nice season. The trees were still naked. Their branches reached for the sky and they looked like ghosts. There was hardly a summer bird around and she missed the sun. At the moment she wondered if the winter hasn't just begun. But then she remembered that it was already March and that this was the traditional spring month.

It took another half hour until she could see the house she was looking for. She heard two cars flying by but she knew that she wasn't fast enough to get to the street in time. So she continued her walk until she saw the light house by the sea. It was huge, almost looked like a castle. It stood on a hill near the bending road. From a huge terrace you could oversee the sea and the young woman asked herself if it was great to watch the sun raise and set.

Maybe I am crazy. But if I wasn't I would be surely dead.

She sighed oppressed as she stepped nearer to the house. The part of roof showing the sea side consisted of glass and there were huge windows. Trees were planted around the house and through another window the young woman could see the sparkling of water. Of a swimming pool.

She must be very rich.

The young woman stepped closer and climbed over the steps that would lead her from the sea side to the front side. To the main portal. She gasped hard for breathe. Normally she wasn't as easily exhausted as she was now. But she didn't sleep during the past day and she couldn't remember the last time she ate a proper meal.

Hope she wants me.

She took a deep breathe and looked up to the huge main portal. There was no bell. Only a door knocker. It took her some seconds until she raised her trembling, icy hand.

If she doesn't want me I don't know where I shall go...

At that moment the door was pushed open.

"That's the biggest brazenness I ever heard in my whole life!" screamed a woman and made it's way out of the door. She was about forty years old and very thick. She wore a wide dress and hold an umbrella in her arms. "I don't want to be your slave any longer, Kaioh-san! I go!" She didn't care about the young woman standing right in front of the door. She simply pushed her aside and hit her with her umbrella as she fell down. There was a small sound she made but she didn't defend herself. A newspaper landed in the dirt but the older woman simply stepped over it, climbed in her car and drove away.

"What..." The young woman raised protectively her arms but couldn't help being splashed as the car drove through a puddle. "Bitch!" she whispered and got to her feet again. Her back hurt and she knew that her dry clothes were now wet, too. Her rucksack was heavier now. And certainly dirtier.

NO!

She jumped towards the still open door but it was closed when she reached it.

"Why am I always the lucky one?" she whispered and knocked again at the wood. But no one answered. No one opened the door. No one let her in.

"Damned..." she turned around and leaned against the wood. Tears sparkled in her dark green eyes and her body trembled even more. She crossed her arms before her chest and lowered her head.

Where shall I go now?

It was a long way back into the city. About ten miles. And it was already dawn. In about an hour it would be dark and the sky didn't look as if the weather would change this night.

Her stomach groaned and remembered her that she was hungry. But she had nothing she could eat. Nor did she have the money to buy herself anything.

I didn't think it over. All I wanted to have was freedom.

She shook her head and shivered as her wet hairs flew through the air, wetted her neck.

And now I am free. But I am not happy...

At that moment a child's scream interrupted the peace. The young woman raised her head and frowned. But the desperate screams didn't stop. Automatically she took a deep breathe, held her rucksack tighter and followed the sad voice. Around the corner was another, a smaller door. It consisted of glass. And it wasn't closed. The young woman hesitated for some seconds but the desperate screaming convinced her that she couldn't stay outside in the rain. That she had to help.

She tried to clean her boots on the threshold, then she stepped in. It was a huge kitchen. It contained of more electrical apparatuses she had ever seen in her whole life. In the middle stood a round table with many chairs. In the corner under a huge window stood a couch. It looked very soft and the young woman scolded herself.

I don't have the right to lay down and sleep.

She oppressed a yawn as she walked over to the living-room. The two rooms where only separated by a curtain of pearls. It jingled as she pushed it aside and stepped slowly over the thick carpet under her feet. There was a chimney on the one side, in the middle a big couch, some armchairs and a table and a TV set on the other side. And there was a cradle standing beside the couch. It's curtains were covered with swimming fishes and the blanket was a dark blue one.

The screaming even increased and the young woman saw the tiny toy dog laying on the ground. Automatically she reached for it and laid it back into the cradle. Immediately the screaming stopped. Two dark eyes looked back at her for some seconds. As if the baby considered who was standing in front of it. Then a happy smile appeared on the tiny face which was surrounded by fluffy, black hairs. It laughed cheerfully while it took the toy in her tiny arms and hold it tight.

"That's better, isn't it, small princess?" asked the young woman with a low voice and leaned over the cradle to touch the baby. To stroke it. To take care for it.

To love it...

She frowned but couldn't define where that thought came from.

"Who are you!"

She winced back as she heard the strict, loud voice. Slowly she raised her head and looked into determined blue eyes. A young woman stood in the door frame. She wore a blue bathrobe over her long white sleeping dress. Her long sea green hairs were messed and she looked very tired. Her cheeks were red and as the young woman looked closer she knew that the other one had fever. Maybe a simple cold, maybe a dangerous flu.

"Step back from my daughter!"

The young woman stepped over and stood some seconds later between her daughter and the intruder. She was about half a head smaller but the other one suddenly knew that she wasn't weaker.

"Who are you! Talk to me or shall I call the police!"

"No..." The young woman bowed and stretched her arm towards the smaller one. "Konnichi wa. I am Tenô Haruka and I read your advertisement in the newspaper. I hope the job is still..." Her voice got quieter and quieter and died finally away as she saw how the other woman observed her sceptically from her boots up to her hairs and down.

"Where are you coming from, Tenô-san? From a whore house!"

Michiru clenched her fists and shook her head. She would never ever let this strange woman closer at her daughter. At her Himme-chan.

Maybe she's a pervert!

Critically she looked at the wet, narrow dress the taller one was wearing.

Hell, doesn't she wear a bra? I can see her breasts right through! And that terrible dress! You can almost see her ass under it!

She shook her head and bit her lips together.

Maybe I need a nursemaid, but I am not THAT desperately.

The other one clenched her hand unsure and raised her head again. Michiru could see the traces of makeup on a still wet face. Then she saw into dark green eyes. Sad shinning eyes.

No! No sympathy! You're giving concerts for people like her! You don't have to take them into your house. Hell, she doesn't look as if she was able to cook or even to change nappies!

Haruka swallowed hard as she saw the disgusting look in deep blue eyes.

"Gomen, but it was raining outside and..." she blushed as she looked down at her body. Trembling and freezing body. She didn't change when she left the airport.

I hate this dress but I had to wear it. Otherwise I would have never been able to leave America. 'Cause they're looking for a tomboy. Not for a...

She swallowed again as she saw how the smaller woman stepped closer to the cradle and bit on her lips.

... for a whore.

"Your late nursemaid left some minutes ago, am I right? So you need a new one. You don't look very healthy to me, Kaioh-san, and the little one needs someone who takes care for him."

"It's a girl!" snapped Michiru and spreat her arms before the cradle. "And I am able to take care for her on my own! I don't need super clever women going around, yelling at me and telling me how I should raise my daughter properly! Gomen that you came all the long way, but I don't need any of you silly nursemaids anymore! The advertisement shouldn't be in the newspaper any longer." She sighed deeply and coughed. Her deep blue eyes shone feverish. "Guess that's Setsuna's fault. She's simply too concerned about me." She stepped over to the taller woman and shook her head.

"You can go now. I don't need your help. I don't need any nursemaid at all! I'll take my daughter to my rehearsals and to my concerts and somehow it will be okay. I don't need any interference any longer!"

Haruka took a deep breathe and clenched automatically her fists.

That means that I shall go out in the rain again. In a cold, endless night.

She blushed deeply as her stomach tried to tell her again how hungry she was.

"I see." The taller woman whispered. Then she took her rucksack again in her hands. "Then the advertisement was a mistake."

"Hai." Answered Michiru and made a face as she saw the rucksack covered with mug. As she saw the brown puddle that slowly evolved on her white carpet. "And now get out! I don't need any petitioner in my house!" She coughed again and cursed herself as the world started to spin around again.

"I never begged for anything. I'd work hard for it!" declared Haruka angry and turned around.

"Ha, work! Don't tell me that you're able to cook! Don't tell me that you know how to handle a small child! What the hell did you in such a dress the last time of your life?" Michiru coughed again and hold her icy hands towards her burning face. She trembled and wanted to sit down on the couch to have some minutes rest.

Then I am fine again.

But she knew she couldn't lie to herself any longer.

"Is that all you do? Judge me by my appearance!" Haruka opened the door and wanted to go into the stormy night again as she heard a small sigh behind her. She turned around and could see how the taller woman tried to sit down but couldn't reach the couch any more. She reeled and went on her knees beside it. Hard she coughed and wrapped her arms around her chest. Her hairs fell over her shoulder and tears rolled over blushed cheeks. Haruka put the rucksack on the table after she closed the door. At the next moment she was beside the ill woman.

"No..." whispered Michiru and coughed again. She felt so weak, so tired. "But I simply don't want Himme-chan to get hurt..."

"And your husband?" asked Haruka and touched the hot forehead. She didn't care about her dirty hands any longer. Nor did the smaller woman.

"I am not married." Whispered Michiru and coughed again. Suddenly she was feeling very, very ill. Her stomach rebelled and she choked.

The roll had been too much for dinner.

But at that time she had felt a little bit better and tried to tell herself that she didn't need a doctor.

Today's Setsuna's long day at work and the rest have to learn for the complicate math test they're going to write next week...

She sobbed and felt how two arms took her carefully. She was lifted in the air but didn't defend herself. Tired she leaned her head against a wet clothes. But she didn't care about it. The cloth was so nice cold in her burning face.

"And her father?" she heard somewhere the other woman's voice and felt that she carried her out of the living room. Her daughter slept deep and tight in her cradle and there was no danger for her at the moment.

I never thought that she's so strong. She looked so slim.

"He's dead." Coughed Michiru and choked again. "Like her real mother..." Tears were running down her cheeks again.

Why did I tell her? That's not her business!

But she was too weak to think about it any longer. Her stomach rebelled and her whole body hurt even more.

"Where's your bathroom?"

Haruka looked concerned down at a pale face that almost looked green. Sweat covered the forehead and she felt how the smaller woman in her arms trembled a lot.

"Over there." She pointed weakly to the staircase and to a door above. Haruka hurried up. She opened the door and didn't take much attention of the beautiful sleeping room. About the huge windows facing the sea. Of the ceiling made of glass facing the stars. Of the wide bed standing in the middle. On a soft blanket. Surrounded by white curtains. Haruka crossed it quickly and entered the bathroom. She didn't see the shower nor the big tube that looked more like a whirl pool. Haruka let the smaller woman down before the toilette and opened the lid. Michiru leaned over it and choked but her stomach didn't obey her. So she sobbed and the roundabout she seemed to sit in speeded up.

"I can't..." she whispered and choked again. Her whole stomach ached and she felt as if she was going to die.

No, I mustn't die! Himme-chan needs me!

"Sure you can." Said Haruka and embraced her from behind. She felt how the smaller girl froze and knew that she would have defend herself if she had felt any better.

"Trust me." She whispered with a serious voice and put her hands on the other one's slim belly. "I'll never hurt you." Haruka didn't know why she said those words. She hardly made any promises because she hold them - with all consequences. But suddenly she knew that she would never hurt the trembling young woman in her arms. She took a deep breathe then she pushed her hands against the slim belly. The smaller woman made a shocked noise. Then she choked and finally threw up the few things she ate over the day. Haruka held her to make sure that she wouldn't hurt herself by falling against the marble. It took some minutes before Michiru was finished. Then she leaned against the taller woman, again feeling the wet clothes, the freezing body against her sweating one.

"Let's bring you to bed." Declared Haruka determined and helped her on her feet. "And then let's call the doctor. And I don't wanna hear any protests!" She helped the smaller woman carefully out of her bathrobe and into the bed. Michiru sighed as she felt the soft mattress under her hurting back, the warm blankets over her trembling body.

"Ha...?" she asked and frowned as the other one switched on a small light next to the bed.

As if I was afraid of the dark...

She coughed again and knew that she was grateful for that small gesture. Normally she wasn't afraid of the dark. She had seen too may of it in her life, during all those battles that she knew how defend herself. But normally she didn't have so high fever.

"Haruka." Helped her the young woman and gave her a thermometer. She took it in her mouth and bit automatically on it.

"Before the doc's coming, would you please change your clothes? And Hotaru needs to get in her baby bed. It's the room over there..." Michiru coughed again and felt so weak she hadn't for over half a year now.

The last time I've been so helpless hat been the final battle against Mistress 9.

"If you don't have any clothes, I've got plenty of them..."

Haruka nodded thoughtfully and bit on her lower lip. Then she stepped to the bed again and stroke carefully some sweaty strands out of a feverish blushed face.

"Do you want something to drink?" she asked and hoped that the doctor would hurry up in such a stormy night like this one. The smaller woman felt too hot.

"Hai. Arigato, Haruka."

dbdbdb

"You've got really high fever, Kaioh-san!" The doctor looked critically at the thermometer and then at his patient. "You were already ill last week, weren't you! How many concerts did you give during the past weekend?"

"Three." Her voice was very quiet. She turned her head and faced Haruka who sat on the other side of the bed. She had washed her face and wore now one of her deep blue tracksuits. Her hairs were still messed and the hair slips looked strange but Michiru was very glad to have her by her side.

"Three concerts in two days? Are you crazy, Kaioh-san!" The doctor took a deep breathe. He knew that he shouldn't yell at his patient. Especially when they were as ill as the young violinist. "I've always told you that you should take care of yourself. After your big accident half a year ago you shouldn't..." he sighed deeply and looked into his bag. "At least you should think of your daughter, Kaioh-san. She needs you. What should she do when you lay in hospital or when you're even dead because your fever had been too high?" he asked and now his voice wasn't angry any longer. Now it was simply concerned.

"I know, doc. But those concerts are very important and..." whispered Michiru and again tears were running down her cheeks.

No, I'll never leave Himme-chan! Never!

"You're more important to your child than all the money you earns for your concerts. Even if they're beneficial concerts, the children in need need you, not a dead idol!" He took an injection out of his bag and Haruka automatically made a face. She hated medicine and she hated injections.

Guess I had too many the last year...

"Normally I would call the ambulance and let them bring you into the next hospital." The doctor looked over to the young woman sitting next to the bed. She didn't look up as she took a smaller feverish hand in her own one. Carefully she stroke over the sweaty skin. Carefully and calming.

"But I see that there's someone here to take care for you. So you'll get an injection - don't make such a face, Kaioh-san! It's your own fault! And I'll give you medicine you have to take regularly! I said regularly. Not like the last time you wasted over the half of it and now we see where it all ends!"

"She will take it as you say." Answered Haruka and smiled comforting at the young woman who looked with big blue eyes at the injection.

She didn't even say that I could stay!

Haruka stroke again over the hot skin and knew that she wouldn't go. Even if the ill woman would kick her out.

"Okay." The doctor filled the injection and Haruka saw how the smaller woman swallowed hard.

"Himme-chan lies in her bed. She sleeps deep and tight and she looks really cute with her toy in her tiny arms..." she said and Michiru looked from the injection into her pale face. She whimpered but before she could react the pain was gone and the doctor was done with his torture.

"Her real name is Hotaru. Kaioh Tomoe Hotaru. Himme-chan is simply my nickname for her." Answered Michiru and yawned. The medicine did a quick job.

"Little glow-worm. A really nice name."

Michiru opened her feverish eyes for the last time and squeezed the hand holding her own one weakly.

"Please... could you stay..."

Haruka nodded and corrected the blanket.

"If there's anything, just call for me." She whispered and stroke thoughtfully over red cheeks. "I'll be there."

dbdbdb

"If she's getting worse, call me. I'll be there in less then ten minutes." Said the doctor as Haruka walked with him over to his car. It was still raining outside but now she wasn't concerned about it any longer. Now that she found a place she was needed.

"Of course. Arigato, doctor."

The old man shook her hand and some minutes later he left the drive and his red lights disappeared behind the next bend in the night.

Haruka shivered as she stepped back into the house. The entrance hall was huge and there were drawings all over the walls. Drawings of dolphins, the wide sea. The endless horizon. Of stars and green meadows. Of shadowy forests.

Did she draw them? Or did she buy them?

Haruka wasn't sure. The whole house looked as if the young woman had a lot of money. Slowly she walked upstairs and opened carefully the door. The little girl was still sleeping in her child's bed. Deep and tight. Haruka sneaked into the room, corrected the blanket and picked up the toy from the ground.

"Sleep, princess." She whispered and went quietly back into the sleeping room. There she sat down on a chair and waited.

"Haruka?" the tired voice ripped her out of her dreamless sleep. It took her some seconds to recall herself where she was. She leaned forward on the chair and winced as her back started to hurt. "Are you still there?" Now the voice was almost frightened.

"Of course." She leaned forward and Michiru could see her in the small light that was still burning. That wouldn't be switched off for the rest of the night.

"I am thirsty." Michiru coughed and tried to move. But she was too weak for.

Normally I would have been all alone - without calling the doctor...

She shivered and watched how Haruka went over to the table and came back with a cup in her hands.

"It's only water. Juice would hurt your throat." She said and helped her to sit. Slowly she lifted the cup and let her drink. Some of the water ran down her chin and her throat and Haruka wiped it away carefully.

"Better?" she asked and Michiru nodded slightly.

Without her I would have died tonight...

She knew that she would have survived everything, but at that moment she felt so weak, so ill that she was very grateful that this strange woman was around.

I have to apologise myself...

Michiru coughed again but before she could say anything more to the taller one she already settled back into sleep. Haruka put the cup back on the table and sat back on the chair. Her back hurt but she didn't think about it.

I won't go away, Michiru.

She leaned forward and corrected the blanket. Thoughtful she stroke through long sea green hair.

She looks like someone who needs a lot of care. And love.

Haruka made herself comfortable in her chair and sighed deeply.

Just like me...

dbdbdb

Little Hotaru made a face as if she would start crying the next minute. She laid naked on her baby's changing unit. A shadow hurried exited through the light bathroom and several cupboard doors clapped.

"Hush, small princess. We don't wanna wake up your mommy, do we?"

Little Hotaru raised her head and her dark eyes looked thoughtful up into loving green ones. Into a laughing face that was surrounded by still wet hairs.

"Don't worry, I'll change your clothes until you could babble anything. And then we'll see for some nice mash for you." Declared Haruka and fought desperate with the nappy's package. It seemed to take eternity until she was able to open it and to enfold the soft material. Carefully she lifted the small baby and placed it under her. Then she rose one eyebrow and wondered how it should fit. And how she should dress the little girl afterwards in her blue pyjama. It all didn't seem to fit at all and seemed to be too big for the little baby.

"Guess you'll have to help me now, small princess. I never cared for a baby before." Said Haruka and sighed deeply.

But you want this job, don't you?

She closed the nappy but it opened again while Hotaru looked at her with her big dark eyes. Just like other eyes who had looked at her with the same expression just a few hours ago. Deep blue eyes.

Guess she thinks I am really crazy.

The small girl grabbed for her own feet and tried to put it into her mouth. Haruka' eyes grew wide then she burst out into laughter. Hotaru joined it automatically and stretched her tiny arms towards the young woman. Who appeared so suddenly in her tiny life. Whom she trusted unconditionally.

"We have to do our best." whispered the young woman and leaned over to the small girl who touched red cheeks with tiny hands. Haruka automatically bowed and kissed the tiny forehead. Fluffy dark hairs tickled in her nose and Haruka laid her arms on the unit around the small girl. She could feel the small, warm body next to her own one while she rubbed her nose softly against the tiny one. Baby Hotaru squeaked of joy and tiny hands pulled at blonde strands.

She's so weak but yet so strong...

Haruka blinked. Slowly she leaned back and smiled automatically.

I can't remember the last time I felt so free. So needed. So happy...

Then she worked again on the nappy until it was closed. Hotaru didn't protest as it took her three tries until the little girl was in her pyjama. She didn't cry as Haruka confused her tiny shoes. All she did was laughing and babbling. And looking very happy.

"Now it's time for breakfast. Hope your mommy has a microwave oven." Haruka reached for Hotaru and took her carefully in her strong arms. Then she left the bathroom next to the child's room. Every room seemed to have it's on bathroom and the young woman wondered how rich Kaioh Michiru really was.

"Hope I won't burn your mash, small princess." She declared while they walked quietly through the long corridor and down a huge staircase. It was already dawn and bright light filled a entrance hall that seemed to consist of nothing than glass and light marble. The huge pictures looked even prettier in the new born sunlight than they had looked the last night. Michiru was still sleeping in her bed. After Haruka made sure that the ill young woman didn't need her, she silently left the bedroom. She didn't want to wake her up.

"You really got a nice home, Himme-chan."

Hotaru felt safe in secure in those warm arms. The voice was so calming and full of love. Here was no danger, no fear. She yawned and a smile laid on her tiny face.

Hell, she's so cute!

Haruka swallowed hard. All her life she hated children. They were so loud. So cheeky. So hurting to each other.

But she's different. She's something special.

"You have to help me, small princess. So that I'll be a perfect nursemaid to you."

Hotaru leaned her head against Haruka's chest and laughed happily. It looked as if she was nodding. Her big dark eyes looked trustfully up at the tall young woman. Trustfully and understanding.

dbdbdb

It was still raining when she awoke. She could hear the rushes of the near sea and the rain drops falling against her window pain. Against the glass above that formed the ceiling. Normally she needed a lot of light. Sunlight to see her colours perfectly. To draw her huge drawings.

But today she groaned and closed her burning eyes again. Her whole body ached and she asked herself if some dwarfs found gold in her head and fostered it now. There was still a nausea in her stomach. But this time it was different. This time she was simply hungry.

How late it is?

She turned her head and forced herself to open her eyes again. She blinked. The sky was grey and it looked as if the night would win over the day.

Almost noon.

The young woman frowned and tried to remember how she got into bed. There had been the doctor and an injection. And bitter medicine. And a never ending nightmare.

I was so cold...

She coughed and sat up. Slowly she pulled the now warm blankets aside and looked surprised down at her shoes. Normally they were distributed all over her room like her clothes. But this morning they stood neat beside her bed.

I threw up my dinner and had high fever.

Still she heard the doctor's warning words in her mind. That he wanted to take her into hospital. But then he was convinced that she could stay - because there was someone who took care of her.

Someone cared for me?

Again she frowned. It was a strange idea. She had very good friends who were really concerned about her and her wealth - especially since that day over half a year ago. But the girls still went to school each day and had a lot to learn to pass their exams. Mamoru spend a lot of time at University and Setsuna got a full time job.

Even if they had enough time, they can't help me with my problem.

Michiru sighed deeply.

They can't find the one for me.

Then her blue eyes focused on the chair that stood between the bed and the huge window. Normally it stood next to the table and wasn't used much. Today the thin blanket which protected the velvet underneath against dirt and dust looked crumbled.

Michiru shook her head and regretted this motion immediately. Suddenly she had the picture of a young woman in her mind. Of a young woman who was wet all over. Who wore a strange red dress and carried a dirty rucksack.

She helped me into bed. She called the doctor.

At the next moment Michiru left her bed and stumbled quickly over to the next room.

She touched my daughter...

Michiru's blue eyes watered as she saw the small bed. It was empty. There was no sign of the small child. The blankets were corrected as if no one slept in it the whole night. The favourite toy laid on the pillow.

No...

The young woman spun around not caring about her own illness anymore. She stumbled over to the staircase and almost fell down as she missed the last step. She landed hard on her knees but she didn't care about it.

Himme-chan...

She would never forgive herself if something happened to the future Sailor Saturn. To her little darling. To her daughter.

You didn't know that strange woman! What will you do if she took Hotaru away and wants now your money? You're rich. Everyone can see it.

Michiru swallowed hard. She would pay every price to see her daughter happy. She didn't care about the ransom. But she cared much about the small girl. How the strange woman would treat her.

If she does her any harm I'll kill her!

"Himme-chan!"

She opened the living-room's door and stumbled over her handbag she forgot the last evening. She screamed shocked and could hold herself back from crashing into the table.

Two green and two dark eyes looked surprised up. Then little Hotaru concentrated on her bottle again and drank greedy her milk. She was used to her mother and her strange behaviour sometimes.

"Nani?"

The two women stared at each other. Silence evolved between them and nothing could be heard than the rushes of the waves mixed with rain. And the munches of a clean, happy girl.

"You're still here." Whispered Michiru and sighed relieved. Then she reeled over to the armchair and sat down with another sigh.

"'Course..." Haruka held the bottle higher so that Hotaru could drink properly and swallowed hard.

Will she fire me now?

The young woman didn't know what to say. She looked over to the other one who took her still redden face in her surely ice cold hands. Her blue eyes still shimmered feverish and Haruka was sure that her illness wasn't over yet. The doctor was right. The young woman would at least need another week to recover completely.

I am not even employed...

"Your medicine is on the kitchen's table. You should take it, another four hours are over."

Michiru raised her head again as she heard the soft voice. Silently she nodded and could slightly remember how this soft voice woke her up several times this night. Each time she had to take bitter medicine that didn't taste at all. She didn't want to take it but that nice voice told her that it was better. That she should think of her daughter and that she wanted her to recover quickly. It convinced her and accompanied her until she slept again.

Michiru coughed and observed the young woman sitting opposite. Now she wore narrow blue jeans and a white black shirt. Her collar wasn't closed and she saw a silver necklace sparkling. But it was the only jewellery the other one wore. There was no trace of any make up anymore. Nor were hair slides in blonde strands anymore. The hair looked shorter than yesterday.

Did she cut it? Or was it simply wet?

Michiru frowned as the next thought simply flashed her mind.

Now she doesn't look like a woman anymore. Now she looks more like a man. A tomboy...

"How are you feeling today, Kaioh-san?"

Michiru laughed a little, shaky laugh.

"Does anyone has the number of the track that ran over me?" she asked and stroke some strands of her long blue hairs behind her ears. She was sure that she didn't look like a shining model this morning. Her hairs were surely a mess and the night dress was crumbled. Her feet were naked and suddenly she started to freeze again.

"No, I am feeling better, now, Haruka." Michiru oppressed a yawn.

I slept over twelve hours this night! I can't be tired!

"And I see that you changed your clothes. Very good decision."

"Oh, and I thought the red dress fitted perfectly." Haruka made an innocent face that made Michiru giggle.

"Guess, it wasn't the right fashion." Again she coughed. "Arigato for calling the doctor, Haruka."

"That was naturally, Kaioh-san." Haruka put the bottle away as Hotaru finished. The little girl looked around and stretched her arms towards her mother. Michiru got very slowly on her feet and took her daughter in her arms. Suddenly Haruka felt strange alone.

"Do you still want the job?" asked the sea beauty and looked directly into dark green eyes.

"Hai."

"Will you ever hurt her?" Michiru hold her daughter to her shoulder and the little girl did her burp. Then she yawned and settled slowly into sleep again. Her mother walked over to the cradle next to the couch and laid her carefully down.

"Never." Answered Haruka without thinking. She swallowed hard as the other woman covered the small body with a soft blanket and stroke over soft cheeks. Then deep blue eyes observed her silently for another long while.

She looks as if she says the truth.

I hurt so many people in my life. But I will never hurt her.

Can I trust her?

"Okay." Michiru took a deep breathe and sat down next to Haruka on the couch. She reached for her handbag and searched for anything in it. After another long while she found it and handled the other one a cheque card.

"Are you able to cook?"

Haruka swallowed hard, looked at the plastic in her suddenly shaking hands.

"What... what do you like to eat?" she asked instead and bowed automatically a little bit.

"Whale, horse, deer, kangaroo, elephant and snake." Teased Michiru and giggled as Haruka's eyes grew wider with every animal she noticed.

How shall I cook that?

Haruka frowned and saw herself standing on the road again. She couldn't full fill those wishes of the rich lady sitting in front of her. Hai, she had been able to cook coffee with the coffee machine. To toast bread with the toaster and to heat up Hotaru's milk with the microwave oven. But when she had to use the cooker everything was too late.

Hope she doesn't take a look in Hotaru's bathroom before I didn't tidy it up.

The taller woman swallowed hard and remembered her last try of preparing a proper meal. She ruined several panes and the cooker almost exploded.

I am able to burn water.

But Haruka knew that Michiru didn't want to hear that. So she kept silent, until she heard the oppressed giggle. A happy giggle.

"You should see your face." She gasped and now laughed loudly. "No, Haruka, you don't have to be a brilliant cook. Just enough for noodles, mash and salad. I am often in a hurry and so you normally have to feed yourself and Himme-chan."

Haruka blinked then a relieved expression appeared on her face. She couldn't held back a smile.

"Good, salad sounds fine." She declared and Michiru giggled even more. Then she became serious again.

"I need a good nursemaid, Haruka. The house doesn't have to shimmer in the dark after you cleaned it and I don't need a five star menu every evening. I need someone who's here for my Himme-chan. Who cares for her while I am at a concert or while I am on tour. I need someone I can trust perfectly, Haruka. I don't want to interrupt my tour just for coming home and finding my nursemaid drunken on the couch and my daughter dirty and hungry in her cradle upstairs!" Michiru took a deep breathe and suddenly tears shimmered in her still feverish shinning eyes.

"I would never..."

"My second nursemaid was that way. She drunk and didn't care about Hotaru the way she should. Lucky that I got a strange feeling and returned two days after I went on tour. After that incident I took Himme-chan with me, but it's not possible to care for a child between concerts, interviews and tests." Interrupted Michiru Haruka's protest. "I had all types of nursemaids during the past five months. One remembered me of my grandmother: Nice, friendly, helpful. Until I found out that she beat her small son at home. She had to go one hour later. Who could guarantee that she wouldn't beat my Himme-chan, too?" Michiru took a deep breathe and covered her face again with her icy hands. "You're my last try. If you fail I'll have to give up my career as a violinist. Hotaru is more important than my silly music."

But Haruka felt that the music wasn't so silly. That it was important for the young woman, too. A lot of CDs that laid around in the whole house and an instrument placed very carefully on it's instrument case told her that the other one was a musician by heart. She needed her music. Without her she would be lost. If she wasn't able to play anymore something of her would die - and never awake again.

"My friends are still at work, they can't take care for her for more than a weekend. I can't blame them..." Michiru took a deep breathe, then she looked again into Haruka's pale face. "But before you say hai, you must know that I can be a very loud person. I have a very wild temper and I am the messiest person one ever can met. And I am very stubborn."

Haruka smiled slightly as she heard a description of herself in the other quiet words.

"When I draw my drawings I forget time and place and... well, some people call me a silly, rich brat."

So the pictures were made by her. They are so beautiful

Haruka nodded automatically.

But she doesn't look like a silly, rich brat.

"You'll get enough money for this job but I guess it's not enough to live with me. So if you want to leave, you can go. But today I would be very grateful if you'd stay." Michiru coughed again and shivered.

Haruka's smile vanished and thoughtful she looked at the freezing young woman.

Where shall I go? There's no place left...

"Don't worry, I'll stay, Kaioh-san." She whispered and played with the card in her hands. "What will you do if I steal your money?"

Michiru laughed a thin, shaky voice.

"Why should you do that? You had a whole night time to move out my whole house. The drawings are very valuable, I have a seldom instrument, a Stradivarius, and, well, even the carpets are genuine. You had your chance but you didn't use it." Michiru sighed deeply. "You didn't run away with my daughter and you won't blackmail me with her health. After all, there's enough money on the account to buy baby clothes, food and what else is need in this house. But you wouldn't even be able pay a ticked to Hawaii with it." The young violinist coughed again and wrapped her arms around her freezing body. The night dress was still too thin for the cold spring nights. Especially when it didn't stop raining. "But you wouldn't, would you, Haruka?"

"No, I wouldn't, Kaioh-san." Haruka rose from the couch, took the blanket she sat on and covered the freezing young woman with it. "Don't worry, I'll never hurt your child, Kaioh-san." She declared soft and stroke a sea green strand out of a sweaty face.

"If you'll ever do, I'll kill you."

Haruka knew that it wasn't an empty threat. Then Michiru's face brightened up and she took a deep breathe. "Hm, does I smell coffee?" she asked and smiled as Haruka went over to the kitchen.

"Don't you think that you should take your medicine and some tea instead?" asked the young woman and fetched up the small bottle.

At least I can hot the water up in the microwave oven. So it can't get burned. Can it?

"Oh, don't you play doctor! Coffee is the only real medicine in the morning." Michiru rolled her eyes and leaned against the soft couch. She yawned and hold her belly as it protested.

"And bring me some rolls if you're in the kitchen. I guess I am dying of hunger!" she shouted over and stretched her legs on the soft underground. Suddenly she felt happy.

I can't remember the last time I felt so safe and secure.

A blonde head appeared in the frame.

"I guess rusk is better for your stomach, Kaioh-san. Rusk, camomile tea and your medicine." A tomboy grin appeared on the other one's face as Michiru groaned tortured.

"This is going to be a very, very long diet." She muffled and closed her eyes.

"Okay, I am too good for this world. Just tell me when I should hold you again when you're praying to your porcelain god." Whispered Haruka with a smile on her voice and Michiru opened her eyes and clapped in her hands as she saw the rolls which where covered with jam. She took on into her icy hands and recognized that it was still warm.

"Gomen, that I was so mean to you, yesterday." She declared after she ate the first roll with great appetite and reached for another one. "But I fired my last nursemaid yesterday. She was angry with Hotaru because Himme-chan didn't want to eat her mash. It was spinach and she thought..." Michiru giggled as she saw Haruka making a face as she heard the word spinach. "... she thought that it's healthy for Hotaru. She really wanted to force her to eat it and Hotaru simply closed her mouth and didn't open it again. When that woman tried to open it with a spoon I gave her her suitcases and she was allowed to go." Now Michiru's face was very sad with a sudden. "Sometimes I can't understand why some people are so mean. Himme-chan is such a lovely girl..."

She needs a lot of love. Especially after what happened during the past eight years. I will never, ever see her crying again. Being ill and all alone.

Michiru sighed deeply and looked over to the cradle. The little girl slept now deep and tight.

"I didn't ask you what your profession is." She asked and Haruka coughed suddenly. The young woman put her coffee aside and frowned.

I am a car racer.

She shook her head slightly and automatically clenched her fists.

I used to be a car racer.

Then at tomboy grin appeared on her face.

"Is that a test? I thought I already got the job." She teased and Michiru couldn't help but blush.

"I simply want to know who's with my daughter while I on my concerts." She defended herself but couldn't explain why she was suddenly so curious.

"I finished school half a year ago and jobbed for a ticket to visit my mother's birthplace. Japan is a very nice Country, although it's very rainy." Haruka smiled as Michiru giggled. "I want to see it and to understand what my mother was like. How she grew up and to remember my childhood. I want to see something of this world before I start studying."

"Your mother is dead?" Suddenly Michiru's eyes were sad and understanding. Haruka swallowed hard and felt how her eyes burned.

Strange, I didn't cried since that day.

"Hai, she died because of an accident. But it's long ago, Kaioh-san. " Haruka took her coffee again in her hands and walked slowly over to the kitchen to search for milk.

Michiru watched her and frowned. She could feel the other one's sadness and at the same time the unbreakable proud. She knew she wouldn't get an answer if she asked more about the accident. And she knew that the other one didn't want her sympathy. Nor did she want to be comforted by her.

"Don't forget your medicine, Kaioh-san!" said Haruka and took milk into her coffee. She smiled as she entered the living-room again and a pillow missed her head and crashed into the pearls behind her. "You know what the doctor said."

"Remember Hotaru's the one you should baby-sit." She declared and tried to ignore the bitter bottle while she reached for another roll.

"I am your nursemaid now and I decide whom I should take care of." Teased Haruka and Michiru couldn't hold back a giggle.

"What have I done?" The young violinist asked the world in common and raised her head to stare at the ceiling. But no mighty god helped her.

"Now it's too late, Kaioh-san." Haruka sat down next to the cradle and watched the sleeping baby.

Strange, I only know her for twelve hours now but I like her. Very much...

"She's tiny." Whispered Haruka and stroke with her free hand over the fluffy hairs.

"Hai..." answered Michiru and ate her third roll. Now her stomach ached because she ate too much and she asked herself if she would regret her hunger during the next hours. She watched the other woman and swallowed hard.

She really looks as if she likes her.

Michiru took the bitter bottle in her hands and played for a long time with the shutter.

Can I trust her?

She thought about the other nursemaids and that she had another concert tomorrow.

Does I have another chance?

"Haruka?"

"Hai?" Dark green eyes looked up to her while the free hand now rocked the cradle.

"Call me Michiru."

dbdbdb

She sat behind the steering wheel for a long while after she parked the car in the huge garage.

It's a Ferrari!

Haruka leaned back and closed her eyes. Soft music filled the air and automatically she turned at the radio and the melody increased.

It's a fast car.

She smiled as she felt the hot sun again burning on her face. Again she heard the fans yelling around the race track. The wild wind played with her hairs while she winked them. Happily that she won another race. That she would become the World Champion again. For the third time in her young life. She knew that her parents where somewhere on the road. Waving at her. Laughing over her style. How she teased her opponents in the last, in the honour lap. Her mother with her long black hairs was surely waiting to take her into her soft arms. And her father would say how proud he was - and that he didn't misuse his money by buying her the fast race car.

The yelling of the fans increased and she felt again the excitement she felt every time before she got her price. Before she could show her trophy into the audience and smile a tomboy grin into the cameras of the reporters.

Oh, how can you see... 

Again they would play her national hymn and again...

The yelling of the fans increased. More and more. Until it was interrupted by a desperate scream. A high scream. A death scream...

"Shit..." Haruka gasped and turned the radio off. Sweat ran down her back while she opened the door and got out of the Silver Ferrari Michiru showed her some hours ago. So that she wouldn't have to carry all those bags. The tall woman sighed deeply as she opened the boot and took all the heavy bags out. She bought the food for the weekend and she asked herself how Michiru could stay so slim when she ate so much. Or did she simply fill her fridge to threw all the spoiled food away later? Did she simply want to make sure that there's always something to eat at home when she returned from a concert?

Or does she have so hungry friends?

Haruka groaned as she handled the heavy bags. She shut the garage door by pushing on the car key and went through a door into the white house by the sea.

"You're still ill, Michiru! Don't lie to me! The doctor called me up this morning at work and he said that you had very high fever!"

Haruka frowned as she stripped her shoes and went over to the living-room to bring the bags into the kitchen. Surely Hotaru was still sleeping in her cradle. But it was at six in the evening and soon the little girl would wake up and be very hungry. The young woman didn't saw another car when she arrived. Did Michiru have any guests? Maybe one of the girls who still went to school?

"But it's a beneficial concert!" protested Michiru angry and Haruka smiled slightly.

Hai, she has a very hot temper.

"But you aren't recovered. Hell, Michiru, I can see the fever burning in your eyes! You shouldn't take part in the concert tomorrow. I don't want to see you breaking down in front of your fans."

Haruka entered the living-room, but no one seemed to notice her . Michiru walked through the living-room. Excited. Angry. But Haruka could see that her cheeks were still red from fever and that she shivered under her thick pullover and her long trousers. Hotaru slept deep and tight. The little girl was used to her mother's behaviour.

"I won't break down! I never missed a single concert in my whole life! And I never missed a single note!" Michiru stepped from one corner in the other one and waved exited with her hands in the air. But Haruka saw the she reeled slightly. That she was only minutes away from the next fever attack.

"Kaioh Michiru! When you're so stubborn to ignore you own wealth than please think of Hotaru. She needs you -healthy! She needs you here by her side and not coughing in your bed upstairs!" On the white couch sat another young woman. She was some years older, maybe 22 or 23. Her long green hairs were hold together in her neck by a black ribbon. She wore dark clothes and a handbag laid next to her on the soft underground. Determined dark eyes looked into feverish sparkling blue ones.

"I said I would play. That was two months ago, Sets. I can't simply cancel it." Declared the young violinist and stepped back in the other corner.

"Hai, you simply can't cancel it, can you? Hell, Michiru, think twice! You don't need the money and your manager..."

"The children needs the money!" snapped Michiru back and coughed.

"Then donate something to the foundation. And I told you more than once that you should take another manager. This one's too greedy for you. You want to give your music to people, he only wants to make money!" Now the green haired woman rose from her chair and went over to the trembling younger friend.

"I am just concerned about you, Michiru, don't you know?" she said and touched Michiru's left shoulder. "We're all concerned about you since that day." The young violinist only nodded.

"I know." She whispered and swallowed hard.

"Cancel the concert. If it's not for you, then do it for Hotaru. The girls write an important test and I have to work till eight tomorrow. I can't baby sit."

Michiru nodded. Then she smiled a thin but very stubborn smile.

"That's no problem. My new nursemaid just arrived from her shopping tour." She said and turned around to Haruka who still stood near the door. Unsure if she should cross the living-room and disturbing the conversation.

"Sets, may I invite, that's Tenô Haruka. Haruka, that's Meio Setsuna. She's one of my best friends."

"Hah, and worst enemies. Add it, Michiru!" said Setsuna but there was a smile on her face, too. A smile that betrayed that she liked the smaller woman very much. Not only by destiny but also by friendship. The senshi of time walked over to the new nursemaid and frowned as she shook her head.

Strange, she looks so familiar.

Setsuna blinked and had to look closer to make really sure that there was a woman standing before her. A woman, not a man.

She really looks very familiar. Although I've never met her before...

"So, there's no chance of changing your mind?" Setsuna automatically took one of the bags in her arms and groaned over the weight. She carried it into the kitchen and helped Haruka to fill the fridge.

"Did you invite Usagi for dinner?" she asked and the two young women giggled. At that moment Hotaru awoke and started desperately to scream. Setsuna winced while Michiru made a face as if her head was going to explode the next moment.

Haruka closed the fridge and went over to the living-room. She kneeled beside the cradle and took the baby carefully in her arms. The little senshi calmed down and looked at her with her big dark eyes. Then she started to laugh. It was the most beautiful laugh Setsuna had ever heard.

The senshi of time watched the young woman for some seconds how she rocked the baby tenderly. Then she sighed and shook her head.

"Okay, Michiru. You convinced me. Himme-chan's safe here." Again she squeezed the small shoulder and looked concerned into feverish shimmering blue eyes. "But call me up when you come home. It's alike how late it is, Michiru. I just want to make sure that you're at home - healthy. We all need you." Whispered Setsuna and sighed deeply.

"As a friend."

Not only as the senshi of the wide ocean.

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"This year's World Championship started with the great victory of David Stephenson. He drove a really good race. But he couldn't reach the best time of former year's Champion." Said the reporter on TV. Several race cars were shown and a happy laughing young man. Splashed over and over with champagne. Holding a golden trophy high over his head. Smiling into several cameras.

"It's really a pity. Although David gave his best, the Formula One will never be the same again. Not without it's best, it's fastest, it's most talented car racer, who..."

Haruka took the remote control in her suddenly trembling hands and changed the canal.

"Now Mister Miller, one of the riches business men of America, searches in Japan for his..."

"Fuck you all..." whispered the young woman and changed the canal again. Now several super heroes jumped over the screen and shouted strange spells. Some bad guys cried but they had no change. Then they all started to sing a silly, glorious sounding song.

Better than news!

Haruka sighed and lowered her head. Hotaru laid in her arms and slept deep and tight. The empty bottle still stood on the small table but Haruka simply couldn't stand up and lay the baby in her cradle to tidy up the kitchen. Michiru left shortly after dinner in a hurry.

She only ate one roll with cheese. Hope she isn't hungry on stage.

The young woman started to hum a sweet melody she used to hear whenever she had to sleep as a small child and rocked the baby gently in her arms.

I am lucky that I got this job.

She got an own room downstairs with her own bathroom. Michiru gave her not only a cheque card but also the keys for the expensive looking Ferrari. Tonight the young violinist took a taxi. She didn't want to search for a parking space and she already had a big collection of tickets. And Haruka got a lot of freedom. Michiru didn't control if she tidied up the kitchen or the living-room. Or the other rooms in the huge house. Haruka got one day free each week if she wanted to. Michiru simply couldn't guarantee her the date. One week it could be Monday, the next one Wednesday. Michiru controlled less, but she looked closer whenever Haruka hold her daughter tight. Whenever the taller woman fed the small girl. Whenever she changed the nappies and Michiru saw it. Normally Michiru would have done it all if she would have had the time. If she would have been recovered.

I didn't like her going like this to that concert.

Silently Haruka agreed Setsuna. The young violinist looked still too ill to do a proper concert. But if the working woman couldn't change her friend's mind how should Haruka do it? She wasn't even a friend. She was simply a nursemaid for her adopted daughter.

Am I?

Haruka swallowed hard and winced as the door was pushed open. But there was no Michiru returning from her concert. It would have been too early. Instead of the see green haired young woman appeared a young man and a girl, maybe his girlfriend, in the door's frame.

"Oh, Mamo-chan, look! Power rangers!" exclaimed the girl and sat down at the armchair to watch TV. Her long blonde hairs were tight up in two plaids which jumped over her back as she walked through the room. She wore a school uniform and laughed happily as another hero danced over the screen.

"Usako! We didn't come to watch TV!" The young man rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his short dark hairs. Then he watched Haruka in silence who frowned. Carefully she took Hotaru tighter in her strong arms and made herself ready to ran away. To bring the little girl in security. And then to beat them down - if they were really burglars.

I don't think that she's a burglar.

Haruka frowned again as she observed the young girl laughing again over another hero. This one was blue. The other one had been red.

Or they're very, very stupid burglars.

"Hi, I am Chiba Mamoru. And this..." he pointed over the still laughing girl. "... is Tusking Usagi, she's my girlfriend." Invited the young man and bowed before her. "We're good friends of Michiru." He leaned forward and stroke carefully over Hotaru's tiny head. The baby yawned but didn't open her eyes. "And she's our niece, aren't you, small Hotaru?"

The ending sequence was over and the girl, named Usagi, turned around from the screen. She blinked and it took her some moments to recognize that there was a person she didn't notice before.

"Gomen..." she said as her boyfriend looked at her and took a deep sigh. "I just didn't know that episode and that was so funny..." she laughed again and shook Haruka's free hand.

"I am Tusking Usagi. And who are you?" openly she smiled at Haruka and the young woman was suddenly sure that she meant it honestly. That this girl wasn't able to lie. The bad way. When she lied she tried to defend her friends or tried to hinder that the truth could hurt them. "Hope we'll be good friends. Because I like people who are my friends. And you look like a person I want to like." Told her Usagi and her blonde hairs flew over her shoulders as she laughed again. A happy, innocent laugh.

"Better, I'll make us a cup of tea while you're talking." Mamoru giggled as his girlfriend watched him with warning looks.

"Oh, wait. I can make that for you." Haruka tried to get on her feet but the young man shook his head.

"No, Hotaru-chan sleeps so peaceful in your arms. I know where every thing is. Arigato..."

"Tenô Haruka." Invited Haruka herself and used the chance while Usagi was silent. But it was only a chance. A chance of two seconds.

"Haruka. That's a nice name. It means scent of spring , doesn't it?" blabbered Usagi with her big blue eyes and looked loving at the small girls in Haruka's arms. "My name is Usagi. That means Bunny on the moon . What a hateful name. But my mother liked it and..."

Mamoru only shrugged helpless his shoulders as he looked into asking green eyes. Then he turned around and soon Haruka could hear him in the kitchen.

"She's such a lovely baby. Michiru told us on the phone yesterday that she had to fire that old crone. I am really relieved, she didn't look like a perfect nursemaid to me. She wasn't nice and friendly to Hotaru-chan. She didn't like her. And a nursemaid should like the kids she cares for." Declared Usagi excited. Then she was suddenly very silent. She leaned back and observed Haruka from top to the toes and the young woman couldn't help but blushed.

"Nani?" she asked as the girl didn't say a word for another while. An incredible long while after she spoke so much.

"You are Michiru's new nursemaid. Aren't you a little bit too young?" Big blue eyes told Haruka that the girl didn't want to hurt her. That she simply was curious. And concerned about her niece.

Niece? I thought there were friends of Michiru. Friends, not relatives.

"Well, I am nineteen now and I..."

"Nineteen? Then you're able to drive a car, to go to thrillers in the cinema and to go out without the permission of your parents! Oh, I envy you!"

Haruka sighed oppressed as she saw into a happy smiling face.

I learned driving a race car when I was twelve. I hate thrillers. And if I'd ask my parents for permission, he wouldn't listen. He wouldn't even notice that I am here...

But she didn't tell Usagi because she didn't want to destroy that beautiful smile.

Strange, she remembers me of my mother...

"Well, I have to admit that I am not a crone and that I never had a child to take care for. I am not a perfect Mary Poppins, but I'll give my..."

"Who's Mary Poppins?" Usagi leaned forward in her armchair and frowned concentrated.

"You don't know Mary Poppins? She the most known nursemaid from a film by Walt Disney. I used to watch it when I was a small child." Explained Haruka and automatically rocked Hotaru in her arms gently. "She is intelligent, can cook, knows how to talk to small children, how to make the whole family happy. And she has an umbrella."

"Well, I can't cook." Admitted Usagi and thanked her boyfriend as he gave her one cup. He put Haruka's one on the table and sat down in another armchair.

"Mamo-chan?" Usagi took a lot of sugar in his tea but her boyfriend was friendly enough to ignore it. "Do you know a Mary Poppins?"

"The nursemaid with the huge umbrella? She's able to fly with it." Answered the young man and giggle as his girlfriend first blushed and then made an angry sound.

"Oh! Everyone knows her but me!" Suddenly tears shimmered in her blue eyes. "I am so silly."

"No, you aren't, honey." Mamoru was at the next moment at his girlfriend's side and comforted her. "You are beautiful and I love you." He declared and gave her a short kiss. After that Usagi smiled and decided not to cry.

Love...

Haruka lowered her head and stroke over Hotaru's cheeks. The little baby yawned and her dark eyes looked dreamy up into sad green ones. Then she yawned again and settled back into sleep.

I'll never experience it...

At that moment Usagi made herself comfortable in the big armchair. She hold her cup in her hands and looked at Haruka over it's rim. Then she started to talk. She talked almost the whole evening, only Mamoru interrupted her time by time to correct or to help her and soon Haruka knew a lot about her friends. About a young priest, an always arguing but nice Rei. About an always reading and studying Ami. About Makoto who loved it to cook delicious cakes. About Minako who laughed a lot and liked to organise big parties. About Setsuna who worked in a library. And about Chibiusa who seemed to be Usagi's smaller sister and who could be a real devil.

Strange, seems as if she doesn't want to speak about Michiru.

Haruka kept silent and listened to her, only talked when she was asked and rocked the baby in her arms gently. Of course she was curious what the blonde girl would say about the young violinist, but she didn't dare to ask her aloud.

So they spend a nice evening. Talking, laughing. Drinking their tea. Thinking.

"You are my friend, aren't you, Haruka?" asked Usagi suddenly and the young woman looked up. Startled. Surprised. Then she smiled and nodded.

Strange, when did I have friends?

Haruka smile froze. She couldn't remember.

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"What do you think about her?" Mamoru sat down behind the steering wheel of his car and watched how his girlfriend worked with the seat belt. Usagi raised her head and there was a very serious expression in her blue eyes.

"I am not sure. I can't define it but there's something around her. I can feel it." The future Queen of Crystal Tokyo frowned and sighed deeply. "Whatever, she likes Hotaru. She won't hurt her nor will she hurt Michiru."

"But she can't cook." Mamoru shivered as he thought of the chaos that covered the whole kitchen. He looked again at the closed front door and started the engine.

"I can't cook, too." Answered Usagi and followed his look. She leaned her head against the seat and yawned oppressed. "I can't tell you why, but I simply know that we can trust her."

dbdbdb

She looked the taxi driving away. It was raining again. Or didn't it stop at all? She didn't know. She didn't take any attention.

Hell, I am so cold!

Michiru shivered and it took her several tries until she was able to open the front door. Carefully she put the violin case on the marble ground that was covered with a thick, soft blanket. Her car keys escaped her trembling fingers with a jingle as she stripped her shoes. But she didn't bow to pick them up. The whole world spun around her and she feared that she could fall by doing so. Silently she stumbled over to the staircase. Hard she grabbed the handrail while she walked upstairs. Step by step. Very slowly and very carefully. Her whole body hurt and her skin was sweaty under the narrow evening she was still wearing. Her hairs escaped her ribbon and fell now over her shoulders. Her make up was wet and all she wanted to do was to go to bed. To lay down and to forget about the dwarfs who were still working in her head.

Night shifts...

She laughed a shaky laughter and opened quietly the door to her daughter's room. She frowned as she saw that there was still a small light burning. Hotaru had never been afraid of the dark and normally she slept the whole night if she didn't get hungry. This time the small girl was sleeping, too. She laid in her bed on her back. Her small body was covered with a soft blanket and she held her favourite toy in her tiny arms.

"Himme-chan..." whispered Michiru and her eyes grew wide as she saw the shadow laying in front of the child's bed. Haruka wore only her dark shirt and Michiru decided quietly that they needed to go shopping. To buy her some clothes. The taller woman slept, too. A warm blanket laid under her body and another one on it. Her head laid on a soft pillow that normally belonged to the white living-room couch.

Strange, I gave her an own room. Why is she sleeping here? The ground is surely very hard.

Michiru stepped closer and yawned oppressed. Her whole body trembled and she knew that it was high time for her to go to bed.

Maybe she was so concerned about Himme-chan, because I've been to the concert.

The young violinist sighed deeply and seized hard on the wall next to her as she whole world started to spun around herself. She coughed and tears sparkled suddenly in her burning eyes. Her hands were ice cold as she raised them to wipe away the tears.

I am so damned cold!

At that moment Haruka raised her head. Two green eyes looked sleepy up at her. Her cheeks were red from sleep and her hair stood messy in all directions from her head.

"Michiru?" she asked quietly and yawned. Haruka blinked and rubbed her eyes. Then she came to her feet and walked over to the young violinist.

"Everything okay?" she asked but could see that the smaller young woman almost broke down as she nodded.

"I am fine. I simply have to go to bed and..." Michiru coughed and more tears run down her cheeks. She frowned and groaned oppressed. She wasn't even ashamed of her weakness.

"Did you take your medicine?" Haruka touched the other one's forehead. It glowed.

"Hai, but irregularly and there had been so much stress. The conductor wasn't satisfied with us and so we did the whole rehearsals three times and..." Michiru coughed again and felt how Haruka took her again in her strong arms and carried her over to her room. She blinked as the light was switched on and watched how Haruka sat her down on the soft chair of her bathroom and turned on the water. Soon the tube was filled with warm, steaming water.

"Guess you should hear of your doctor and don't do any concerts until you aren't really recovered." She said and controlled the temperature. Then she did something into the water. It smelt of herbs. Healing herbs.

"Your friends are very concerned about you. You should hear of them, too." Slowly she helped Michiru to stand up and carefully stripped her long blue evening dress. It was wet. Not only because of the rain.

Hell, she trembles like leaves in the autumn wind! Her manager must be a real devil that he doesn't see how ill she is!

Michiru coughed again and reeled. She went on her knees but Haruka was by her side to hold her. Carefully she helped her out of her underwear. Then she took her determined into her strong arms and carried her over to the big tube that looked more like a whirl pool than a normal tube.

"Where they here?" asked Michiru weak and froze as she felt the water around her body. Then she relaxed and the warm surrounded her freezing body like a soft blanket. Like a loving embracement...

"Hai, Mamoru and Usagi where here. And Rei, Makoto and Minako called me up one hour ago. And Ami..." Haruka yawned and looked for a soft towel. "And Ami apologised the whole time for disturbing me. Setsuna will look after you tomorrow before she goes to work." Haruka leaned forward and laid the towel next to the tube. Then she kneeled before it and stroke long blue hairs over Michiru's shoulder.

"Arigato, Haruka." Whispered Michiru and closed her eyes to enjoy the heat. Suddenly she felt soft hands stroking over her naked back. She smelt soap and knew that Haruka washed away her sweat. Surprised she raised her head and closed her eyes again as the roundabout increased it's speed.

"You don't have to do that. You aren't paid for..."

"Hush..." answered Haruka and smiled sadly down at the smaller young woman.

If I wasn't around who would do it?

"You know I am always to your service. You just have to call and I'd do anything for you. Well, at least I don't have too cook kangaroo or wolf for dinner." Teased Haruka and could feel Michiru's fever. The young violinist giggled, but it sounded very weak. And a little bit desperate.

Shall I call the doctor?

Haruka wasn't sure. In any case Michiru would get the thermometer and she would decide after checking the temperature.

"Haruka?" Michiru's voice was again very silent. The young woman had her eyes still closed and faced the surface of the now green water. The water shivered as she automatically wrapped her arms around her chest. As if she was still very cold. Although the water was very hot.

"Hai?"

"Please... can you keep an eye on me, too, this night?" she asked and suddenly more tears were running down her pale cheeks.

Hell, I am dying.

She felt so weak, so tired. But she knew that there was no chance of sleep. Not while her body was freezing and her head aching.

"Only for one promise."

"What is it? An extra day off? Another..."

"You little baka! Do you think I would leave you with your illness alone?" whispered Haruka and stroke again over the back although the smaller young woman was already clean. "Just promise me that you won't take part in another concert until you are really recovered."

Michiru coughed, then she nodded. "Okay." Haruka helped her when she tried to get out of the tube. She dried her with a soft towel and helped her into her warm pyjama. She carried her over to bed and covered her still shaking body with her blankets. Michiru mentioned that she changed the covers while the taller woman helped her to take her medicine. Slightly the young violinist fell into a dreamless sleep. Each time she awoke Haruka was there. As she promised she stayed the whole night right by her side.

dbdbdb

"Where's Kaioh-san?" The young man looked critically at the other one who had opened the door.

"She's upstairs in her bed, where she belongs. And who are you?" Haruka stepped before the young man as he wanted to run towards the staircase. He didn't look like Michiru's other friends. He didn't even look like a friend at all.

"I am her manager and I have a very important meeting for her..."

You devil!

Haruka clenched her fists and didn't let him cross the entrance hall. She remembered to well how the fever rose during the whole night. How she tried to calm it down with cold, wet towels. How she gave Michiru her medicine the way the doctor had ordered. How she helped her to drink each time the young woman awoke. How she almost became insane as the fever didn't lower the whole night. It even seemed to increase. So she called the doctor at dawn. With another medicine and another injection he was able to lower it. And he told her that Michiru should stay at bed for the next days - with all circumstances. If she didn't obey he had to take her into hospital. Her cold was now a dangerous flu and she shouldn't waste her health in such a silly way. Haruka thanked him and sat down at the chair again. Early in the morning she changed Hotaru's nappies, fed the girl and laid her back into her child's bed. Now the little baby slept deep and tight and time by time Haruka rose from her chair to look after her. Setsuna looked after her friend at seven o'clock. She didn't seem to be very happy to see the young violinist like that. But she had to got to work and so she left with the promise to come as early as she could. The rest of the time Haruka spend next to the bed of the ill Michiru and watched her sleeping. Breathing hard. Fighting against the pain that now controlled her body.

"There won't be any meetings the next weeks! Nor interviews! Nor concerts!" Haruka declared with an icy voice and grabbed his arm as he wanted to push her aside.

"But this meeting is very important!" he snapped and looked busy in her angry face. Her dark green eyes sparkled and she grabbed his arm tighter.

"Her health is also very important." She growled. Then she let go off him and pushed him away into the door's direction. "And now go! She's ill and there's no reason for you staying any longer."

The manager narrowed his eyes and looked at her with a wicked grin on his face.

"And who are you, guy? Her new lover? Hell, I always told her that she has no time for sex! I declared her that she's crazy when she wanted to take care for that child that wasn't even her own one! She has a lot of stress to be the best violinist in Japan and now she threw that great chance away! She doesn't need a lover nor does she need a child. She needs..."

"She needs peace and time to recover." Haruka stepped closer to the manager and raised her clenched fists. "And I am sure that she's the best violinist without sacrificing herself!"

No one should sacrifice oneself for another one. Or for a dream that becomes unimportant when it's finally reached...

"I don't believe you, guy! Surely you're lying and..."

"Okay, that's enough!" Haruka grabbed his arm again and pushed him towards the still opened door. He tried to defend himself but she was simply stronger than him. "Michiru needs time and I give you a good advice: Don't you ever dare to come to this house or to her near again!" Haruka leaned forward so that their noses almost met. The manager was suddenly very pale. "And don't you ever dare to talk about Hotaru again in such an inrespectful way!" She pushed him over the threshold and let him go. He stumbled some steps downstairs and looked terrified in her wild shinning eyes.

He looks like an angel of revenge...

"And what will you do, you little ass? She's my greatest star and she needs a manager. Will you send me some of your low paid lawyers?"

Haruka took a deep breathe but the picture of a hard breathing Michiru simply couldn't escape her mind. The picture of frightened eyes looking up at her when the doctor showed the injection. The picture of the young woman almost falling down on the ground just because she wanted to go to the toilette but was simply too weak to.

"Then I'll kill you!" Haruka whispered and grabbed hard for the door knob. "And always remember: You needed her. She doesn't need you." With those words she slammed the door and leaned herself against the wood. She heard how the motor of a sport car started and it drove away.

Me and my temper!

Haruka sighed deeply. But she was sure that he would never come again. Deeply she sighed again and walked over to the kitchen. To tidy up the chaos from yesterday and to search for something for breakfast that wouldn't burn by just watching it.

She didn't notice the young woman standing at the top of the staircase. Michiru seized hard on the handrail and still the whole world was spinning around her shaking body. Feverish shinning eyes looked surprised at the tomboy walking over to the kitchen.

I didn't know that she can be so angry. So determined.

Still she looked surprised down to the now empty entrance hall. Surprised and thoughtful.

So protecting...

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	3. Chapter 2: Friends

**Chapter two: Friends...**

Slowly the last traces of winter passed away. The rain decreased and the sun shone through the thick blankets of clouds for a longer time. The air got warmer and the birds returned from their long journey from the past. They chirped happily on three's branches which very slowly covered with small, green leaves. The meadows grew green again and the people left their houses more and more. They went to the park with their children or their parents. They went to the famous sights of Tokyo. Or they simply went shopping.

"Okay, I need a new evening dress and Himme-chan needs new shoes." Michiru smiled into the pram Haruka was pushing carefully over the pavement of Tokyo's inner city. Busy people hurried by and more than once she almost crashed into a business man with the pram. Hotaru doesn't seemed to be interested in all the cars, people and noise. She laid under the soft blanket and dreamed an innocent child's dream.

"I can't believe how fast she's growing. Soon she will go to school, meet a nice boy and move away to other places..."

And leave me here all alone.

Michiru swallowed hard and forced herself to smile.

I should be happy that I am allowed to be her mother. After all what I've done to her when she was Mistress 9. And the senshi of death who tried to sacrifice herself for this world.

"Then I'll be an old woman" sighed Michiru and heard Haruka giggle next to her.

I wish I found my soul mate. So it all would be easier.

"Stop, Michiru! You already sound like a sixty year old granny." Haruka raised her head and took a deep breathe. The sun was shinning from a blue sky and she enjoyed the warm feeling on her face.

"Granny..." The sad expression in the young violinist's blue eyes changed quickly into luck. And happiness. "One day I'll be a granny. For Himme-chan's children." She smiled. "My granny was a very nice person. She lived in a small house near the sea. Although my father earned a lot of money and wanted her to buy a bigger house she refused. She loved her home and didn't want to move away. She was the nicest person I ever met. She really loved me. Guess she loved me ever more than my parents do. Maybe it's the typical relationship between grannies and their grandchildren. Every time I went there she gave me an apple which grew on her tree near the house." Michiru looked into the window panes but Haruka was sure that she didn't see the clothes behind the glass. That the young violinist's mind was far away.

"She died three years ago. It was quite a shock, but daddy said that it was her time. She was very old and her heart was simply tired." She whispered and automatically raised one hand to wipe away two tiny tears. "It still hurts but I am very grateful that I was allowed to get to know her."

Haruka nodded and they stopped before some traffic lights. She leaned forward to correct Hotaru's blanket. Michiru told her something about her parents during the past weeks. That her father was a famous piano player and her mother a great opera singer. They were often together on tour through the whole world and Michiru seldom saw them. Her parents loved her but they chose their music and Michiru was used to see them only twice or three times a year.

"Do you have grandparents?" asked Michiru and Haruka blinked surprised. At that moment the lights turned green they crossed the street with a lot of other people.

"Nope." Answered Haruka but kept silent. She didn't like to talk about her family and sometimes Michiru understood it. But sometimes she was simply too curious to get to know more about her nursemaid's past. And her family.

But this time Michiru didn't ask more, because she discovered the shop she searched for the last ten minutes.

"Here it is, come on, Haruka!" she declared and grabbed the taller young woman's arm and pulled her together with the pram towards the shop. It was a huge shop and one look at the clothes declared Haruka that they weren't cheap.

Certainly designer clothes.

Shortly she looked at her washed out jeans and the crumbled black shirt she was wearing. She didn't really look like she would be welcomed in such a shop. And she didn't like shopping. Michiru had asked her this morning to take care of Hotaru while she searched for a nice new evening dress for her next concert and of course she agreed. Today would have been her free day but she spend her free time mostly at the huge park to look at the people passing by. Hoping that she would recognize the one she once hurt. Without knowing she hurt one of her closest friends and now she wanted to apologise. But she didn't know where she lived. Nor did she know her name.

Hell, you doesn't even know how she looks!

But deep in her heart she knew that she would recognise her. So she sat down and waited. And waited. And waited. Without any success during the past weeks. So she agreed to accompany Michiru on her shopping tour. Maybe she met the one in the inner city.

But now she regretted her decision as she saw the huge shop. Deeply she sighed and took her sunglasses out of her short blonde hairs and hide her green eyes behind the dark glass. One look into Michiru's excited face told her that she had no chance to escape. So she smiled bitterly as she took the pram in her arms and stepped upstairs, entered behind the young violinist the shop.

"Women!" sighed Haruka while she sat down in front of the changing room and rocked the pram gently. Hotaru awoke some minutes ago and looked at her with her big black eyes. She laughed happily as Haruka took her favourite toy in her left hand and played with it. The little girl stretched her arms towards it and laughed even more.

She did it for the next forty minutes although Hotaru felt asleep in the meantime. Patiently she waited in front of the curtain while different excited service women walked in and out. With different clothes on their arms.

"And, what do you think?"

Haruka oppressed a yawn and opened her closed eyes. She almost fell asleep like Hotaru and so she needed some seconds to remember where she was. She raised her head and took slowly the sunglasses off. And stared at Michiru .

The young violinist stepped towards her. She wore a long, narrow, white evening dress. There was a light green belt around her slim waist. The sleeves had the same green and were long and transparent. Michiru had put her hairs together in her neck with a net of white roses. Surely plastic roses but they looked very real. Some strands fall over her shoulders, surrounded a smiling face.

"Does I look so ugly?" she asked unsure as Haruka didn't respond anything. Dark green eyes looked undefinable up at her.

"No..." whispered Haruka after a long while and blinked. She simply couldn't take her look off the beauty in front of her. The velvet crackled as Michiru walked. Walked? She seemed to float.

It doesn't look like an evening dress. It looks more like a wedding dress...

"No... it's... it's beautiful." Stammered Haruka and felt how she blushed. Normally she didn't blush that easily. Normally she didn't show her feelings so easily.

"It's beautiful." She repeated and swallowed hard.

You're beautiful!

But she didn't dare to say it aloud.

"That's good. I wasn't sure if it doesn't look too odd. But I recorded a new CD this year. It's called Honeymoon and... well.. I thought, it would be a good idea to wear it on my next concerts." Declared Michiru and smiled as she turned around and around. The dress crackled even more and the skirt flew through the air.

"It's a wedding dress?"

"No, but it's designed after some." Michiru started to hum a sweet music. Then she walked closer and leaned over her sleeping daughter. "She looks so cute." She whispered and stroke through fluffy dark hairs.

"She was simply bored." Haruka winced as she met thoughtful looking blue eyes. There was something in that look she didn't like. Although she didn't know why.

"And you was it, too, wasn't you? Don't worry. Now it's your turn." Michiru giggled as she clapped and a service woman appeared. Always smiling. Always friendly. Always stupid.

"I'll take this one and then we need something for her, too."

Haruka shook her head and tried to escape. But one look into Michiru's determined face showed her that she had no chance.

"Don't behave so childish!" declared Michiru as she entered the changing room. She already changed into her normal clothes again. Now she was holding her daughter in her arms while she observed the clothes laying next on a big table. Haruka blushed deeply as she saw Michiru in the mirror standing behind her.

"Can't I change it on my own?" she asked angrily while she searched for a fitting top.

"Why? There's nothing you've got that I don't." giggled Michiru and rocked her sleeping daughter gently. "Do you always wear sports bras?" she asked and Haruka blushed even more. She cursed herself while she simply grabbed into the clothes and pulled a pullover over her head.

"Do I ask you about your habits in wearing underwear?" she growled and sighed as she saw the price sign. It was a very comfortable pullover. It was soft and warm. And she liked the dark green colour. It fitted perfectly to her eyes. Slightly she frowned as she watched herself in the mirror. Her short blonde hairs. She cut them shorter again after she came to Japan and with the dark trousers and the soft pullover she didn't look like a woman anymore.

Now I really look like a tomboy.

Haruka swallowed hard and ran thoughtful a trembling hand through her wild strands.

Now my father's right about me...

"Don't worry about the price. I am able to pay it." Declared Michiru and hummed a sweet melody for Hotaru who watched her with tired dark eyes. The baby yawned but wasn't sure if she should sleep any longer.

"But..." tried Haruka to protest and turned around towards her. But Michiru interrupted her with a determined voice: "I've got more money than I could spend my whole life. And you need some new clothes. Not for now but also for summer."

"But I am only your nursemaid."

Michiru frowned as she heard the silent voice. She remembered how the taller woman in front of her taking care for Himme-chan during the past weeks. And not only for her daughter, but also for the young violinist. She had another bad attack after her manager left and it took her over another week to leave her bed for good. More than once she threw up her food again and more than once Haruka changed the blankets without complaining. More than once the tomboy helped her to take a bath. She made sure that Michiru wouldn't drown in her own tube. More than once she took Hotaru and went with her along the beach while her mother couldn't leave the bed without breaking down. More than once Haruka managed the whole household and cared also for her friends. More than once she fetched the girls up from school when Mamoru was still at University and it rained too much for them walking home. More than once she learned with a crying Usagi, because Michiru wasn't able to teach her that day as she had promised. Haruka was very good in English and the blonde girl learned a lot during those lessons.

Every night she spend in that hard chair next to my bed. Every time when I awoke she was there. Every time when I felt I would die she helped me to survive.

"You're not only my nursemaid, Haruka." Smiled Michiru friendly. "You're one of my best friends, don't you know? I can't count the times I bought Usagi a toy she wanted so badly. Last year there was a really bad storm and it destroyed Rei's temple roof. I gave her the money to prepare it. And if Ami needs any expensive books for her learning she knows that she can ask me whenever her pocket money is low. They don't misuse me. Just Usagi time by time..." Michiru giggled and kissed her daughter who giggled with her. As if daughter and mother understood each other without a lot of words. "It's just okay that I can help them if they're in need. And you need new clothes. If you don't accept them I'll be very angry with you!"

Haruka sighed deeply. But there was a thin smile on her suddenly pale face.

"Okay." She said and looked closer at another clothes.

She called me a friend!

Haruka didn't know when someone called her the last time a friend. It seemed to be too long ago...

"A dress?" The taller woman frowned as she raised the summer dress. It had wide, white sleeves up to the elbows. It was short, maybe it reached only her knees. It was light blue with white roses all over it. There was a dark blue collar and it seemed to be her seize.

"Just try it. I only wanted to see if it was you or the red dress." Michiru turned around as Haruka growled and threw a yellow t-shirt after her. She giggled as she heard a deep sigh and how Haruka changed her clothes.

"Okay, you'll get your laughter. I am ready now." Haruka plucked nervously at the dress. It was wide but very narrow around the waist. One could see her breasts under the top and she felt very uncomfortable in it.

I am not born to wear dresses.

She swallowed hard as Michiru turned around and watched her in silence. There was a sparkle in deep blue eyes but the smile froze and there was now a shocked expression in the young violinist's face.

"I knew it." Marbled Haruka and stepped back. She couldn't help but blushed again. Her green eyes sparkled now angry and she reached again for the pullover to cover her now obviously female body.

"It was me, wasn't it?"

Michiru looked at her and blinked. She couldn't imagine that Haruka had ever looked different. That she thought that she was an ugly, greedy woman.

Woman? You thought in that night she was a whore!

Now Haruka looked indeed like a woman. Not like a tomboy she used to look in her normal clothes. Now Michiru saw a real lady in front of her. Not longer an ugly ducky but yet a wonderful swan. A real lady...

She's beautiful...

Michiru blinked and returned into reality as Haruka pulled the pullover again over her body.

"No, it wasn't you." Whispered the young violinist and asked herself why her heart was beating so hard with a sudden. Why she felt so dizzy. Why she felt so hot.

Don't even think about it! She's not the one!

"No, it wasn't you. It was that terrible red dress." Michiru giggled as Haruka rolled her eyes and shook her head. She knew that she won. As always.

Maybe she's simply too friendly to let me loose.

"So we'll take this dress, too." The young violinist laughed happily and Hotaru joined her laughter. Then she turned around and left quickly the changing room before Haruka could reply anything.

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"Michiru?" Usagi opened the kitchen's door and stumbled over her own feet. Rei hold her in the last moment but was pushed by Minako. With a scream they all fell down. Makoto rolled her eyes while Ami blushed.

"Usako, you're happy that Mamoru's waiting in his car. Otherwise he would left you immediately!" snapped Rei and showed the blonde girl her tongue. Usagi sobbed but did the same.

"Hai, with Chibiusa!" Usagi's voice was suddenly a little bit jealous.

"What are you doing here?" Michiru turned surprised from the dishwasher she was filling. They had tomato soup for dinner and she declared to tidy up the kitchen.

"We wanted to ask you if you wan to come with us to the Circus. It's new in Tokyo." Declared Makoto and sighed as she tried to get out of the knot she formed with the other two girls.

"And they have lovely horses!" shouted Usagi exited and giggled as Rei tickled her.

"This evening?" Michiru frowned. Then her face brightened up. There were no rehearsals tomorrow. Nor recording. No concerts. She had time to go out. The young violinist looked at the pupils on her kitchen's ground and grinned. And to invite them.

"Why not." Michiru said and stepped closer. "Hope you didn't hurt each other."

"That was her fault!" Rei pointed at Usagi who started to cry at the next moment.

"Rei, you're so mean to me. Wahhhh!"

"Could you both please go down from me!" Makoto's voice was really desperate and Michiru couldn't help but to giggle.

"Okay, just let me call Haruka and change my clothes." Michiru showed at her dirty pullover. It was covered with red spots. Hotaru grabbed for her spoon while she tried to feet her daughter with mash and threw it with a happy laughter into the tomato soup.

Michiru turned around and left the kitchen. Ami followed her.

"Normally we wanted to learn but they are all so crazy about the circus." Sighed the senshi of water and her shoulders hang.

"Don't worry, Ami-chan. They will learn it tomorrow." They both thought at Usagi and giggled.

Haruka was in Hotaru's bathroom and changed the little girl's nappies. Hotaru laughed happily while the tall woman told her some fairy tales. The first times had been very difficult to get the baby in her pyjama again after changing. But over the weeks she learned it better and Hotaru was a very patient girl. As long as she was occupied. With a story. With a nice word. Or with a soft song. Haruka wasn't so good in singing and Hotaru really liked to hear her low voice. So Michiru decided not to tell her that she sung wrong. More than once. The laughter of her daughter sounded better than her bored screams.

"Haruka?" She leaned against the door frame while Ami walked over to the her niece and tickled her. Hotaru crowed in pleasure.

"Hey, my little darling. My sunshine..." whispered the intelligent senshi and her blue eyes shone happily behind her big glasses.

"Hai?" The tall woman reached for the powder. A towel hang over her right shoulder and some of the powder covered her cheeks.

She looks like the perfect daddy.

Michiru frowned but didn't know where that strange idea came from.

"We're going into the circus." She declared and thought at her wardrobe. She was sure to wear a thick pullover. Although it was in the middle of spring now, she didn't want to freeze. The nights could still be very cold.

"Hm..." Haruka fought successful with the nappy. "When will you return?"

"Don't you want to come with us? It'll be surely a lot of fun. Especially with Usagi." Answered Michiru and looked into startled green eyes.

"Hai, Usako's always so frightened of the lions and she can scream, my goddess!" giggled Ami and stroke over Hotaru's round cheeks. The girl laughed and tried to catch those skilful hands.

"But..." Haruka only frowned.

"Hotaru's full, clean and tired. I guess she won't make any problems." Michiru turned around and left the bathroom. "See you in two minutes!"

Ami only giggled as she looked into Haruka's shocked face.

"Sometimes she can be very stubborn, can't she?"

The tall young woman only nodded.

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"They're so dangerous!" whispered Usagi and leaned closer to her boyfriend. Mamoru smiled and wrapped his right arm around his girlfriend's waist.

"You're such a baby!" growled Rei and rolled her eyes.

"And so childish!" Chibiusa sighed depressed and ate her popcorn.

"May I got a sandwich?" Minako looked hungry into Makoto's lunchbox and moved her head in the rhythm of the music. Coloured flashes crossed the light and the audience.

"Of course." Makoto smiled and handled her one. A book feel on the ground as Ami watched the lions with big blue eyes and an open mouth.

Setsuna smiled and touched Michiru's right shoulder. Her looks declared that she was very relieved to see her friend healthy again. Michiru nodded and stroke thoughtfully over her daughter's tiny hands. The little girl was sleeping now and not even the lion's roars could disturb her peaceful dreams. Her child's seat laid on the ground next to their seats. She slept deep and tight in her mother's arms.

"Nice, isn't it?" whispered the young violinist towards Haruka who smiled back.

"Hai." But she didn't mean the lions. Her green eyes watched the other girls and Michiru. Real friends. Not one of them treated her like a nursemaid, a servant. They all behaved as if she was a close friend of them - for a very long time, not only for a few weeks. Rei had been sceptical at the first days but after she saw how Haruka cared for Michiru and Hotaru she gave her a chance. One afternoon the young priest visited ill Michiru. It had been one of those days when the fever rose and her whole mood sank. She tried to get out of her bed to greet the black haired girl and fell down. Haruka helped her back into bed and made them both a cup of tea. Then she fed Hotaru and remembered Michiru of taking her medicine. Michiru wasn't very pleased and really down when Rei had to leave. She didn't want Rei to see her cry. So the young priest left. But she could see how Michiru broke down sobbing and how Haruka took her into her strong arms and comforted her until she felt better.

Rei's and Haruka's eyes met for a moment and the young priest smiled. Then she pointed at the arena and concentrated again on the lions.

They're really good friends.

Haruka swallowed hard.

I was very lucky when I read the advertisement in the newspaper. Who knows where I would be today without Michiru. Without Hotaru. Without them all...

The young violinist felt Haruka's looks. She raised her head and watched her asking. Then she smiled and took shortly her hand and squeezed it tight. The taller woman froze in motion.

At that moment one of the bigger lions roared loud and looked dangerously around. It was a dominant roar of a ruler. The king of the wide desert. Of whole Africa. Of all animals.

But Usagi's scream was louder.

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The fog filled the whole kitchen. Dark fog.

"Shit!" Haruka jumped through the room and coughed. She pushed open the windows to let some fresh air in. But it didn't seem to help while the cooker still produced little black clouds. It smelled of melt plastic and Haruka coughed again as she took the pane without thinking.

"Ouch!" It was hot and she burned her right hand. The pain was too much and she immediately let go off the pane. It crashed the ground and dark potatoes covered her feet.

Lucky that I wear house shoes.

She bowed to collect them and heard how something hissed.

"Oh no..." she whispered as she saw how the pudding cooked over and flew all over the hot cooker. The vegetable wasn't burned but it looked as if she boiled them too long. It looked more like a strange soup than something one could eat without fearing being poisoned.

Well, at least there's the roast.

Haruka opened the oven and coughed even more as a dark cloud tried to escape. With a short gesture she closed it again and looked shocked at the chaos. The whole kitchen looked like a mess and she didn't know what the tell Michiru. It was Sunday evening and she had some rehearsals with the Tokyo Orchestra. She would give another concert the next week and she was very nervous. She had to play the first violin and some solos and she didn't want to miss a single note.

Haruka opened the fridge and winced as she used her right hand. It burned but she was too concerned to take any attention about it. Sadly she looked into the fridge.

Do I have enough time to prepare salad and to threw away the sad remains of the roast?

The door was opened and Haruka knew she didn't.

"Hello, I am home." Shouted Michiru and walked over to the living-room. She put her violin case on the table and yawned. Then she froze in motion and looked shocked at the chaos. Thick clouds flew towards her as she entered the kitchen. Haruka stood at an opened fridge and looked really guilty. There was a pan laying on the ground and the pudding cooked on the oven. It smelled of roast. Burned roast.

"Gomen..." stammered Haruka and closed the fridge. At that moment Michiru saw her red skin. Determined she walked over and took the other one's right hand in her own ones. Haruka winced automatically.

"Does it hurt?" Michiru pushed her towards the tap and hold her hand under the cool water.

"No..." Haruka shook her head and took a deep, shaky breathe. "Gomen about the mess. Just give me ten minutes to tidy it up and to make something else."

"With your hand? Forget it." Michiru giggled over the chaos. "That remembers me of my first try to cook another meal than noodles and fried eggs. My mother was so angry with me." She giggled even more and turned Haruka's hand carefully around so that the water could reach every part of the red skin. Then she reached for a towel and dried it carefully. "I didn't look at the watch and our cooker almost exploded." She smiled as she wrapped another towel around the hand. "Let's give you a tidy bandage, fetch up our princess and leave." Michiru turned out the cooker and closed the window again. "No one will see this chaos so it can wait."

Our princess...

Haruka blinked and looked at her still hurting hand.

Did she say our princess?

She swallowed hard as Michiru grabbed her pullover's left sleeve and pulled her with her.

"What do you want to eat? I know there a really nice Italian restaurant."

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"You aren't angry with me?" Haruka looked up from her menu. Her stomach growled and she couldn't await to eat a real self made pizza again. The last she ate had been from the supermarket and it didn't really taste.

"Why? Because you almost burned the kitchen?" Michiru giggled and winked over to the waitress. "Makoto would have died but Usagi would have understood you. She isn't any better in cooking." The young violinist smiled at the waitress. "Spaghetti and water, please." She said and watched shortly at Hotaru who laid in her child's seat next to her on the corner bank. "Do you have mash? She likes apple."

"Of course." The waitress smiled curious down at the girl. "She's cute. How old is she?"

"Ten month next week." Answered Michiru and looked very proud.

"You must be very happy parents." Declared the waitress and wrote something on her note block. "And you?"

"Cola and one pizza with cheese and ham." Answered Haruka and laid the menu away. At that moment Hotaru opened her eyes and yawned tired. The waitress automatically laughed delighted.

"She looks like you. But that's normal, isn't it? When they're young they all look like their daddies." Before the surprised women could say anything else the waitress turned around to take care for their order.

Haruka blinked and suddenly looked at her bandaged hand as if she hadn't seen anything more interesting in her whole life before. She swallowed hard as she felt hot tears burning in her eyes.

It's such a long time ago that I cried and now she simply has to say that Himme-chan looks like me and I almost beak down sobbing. That's so strange...

But at the same time she knew that it wasn't. During the past weeks she learned to love that little girl. With every day her love grew stronger and suddenly she wasn't sure what she should do if she was ever forced to leave her.

I am only the nursemaid!

But she didn't know if she would ever be able to go if she wasn't needed any longer to baby sit Hotaru. When the girl would go to school one day.

When she doesn't want a baby sitter any longer...

"Haruka?" Michiru frowned as she saw the tears sparkling in dark green eyes. She leaned closer forward as the young woman didn't react. Carefully she put her hands over the bandaged one and saw how her taller friend winced.

"Ruka?"

The other one finally looked up and Michiru saw how hard she fought against her tears.

Why doesn't she simply let them fall? I cried so often when the fever and my nightmares increased. When I felt weak. When I threw up my food for the third time at day. She was there to hold me. To comfort me. Why shouldn't I be there for her?

"Everything all right?" she whispered and squeezed the hand gently. So that she didn't hurt her but at the same time to let her feel that she was there.

"Hai..." It sounded more like a sob than a proper answer. "It was just..." Haruka looked directly into deep blue eyes. Which remembered her on the wide, wild sea. Always free. Always independent. Suddenly she heard the rushes of the waves, felt the wind playing with her blonde hairs. Calling for her.

Ruka...

I can't remember the last time someone called me in another way than Haruka.

She never had a real nickname after her mother's death. But she liked this one. Because Michiru said it.

"Was it because of the waitress's words?" suggested Michiru and frowned as Haruka swallowed hard and nodded.

"Where they so bad?" Shortly she looked at her daughter who played with her toy. Then she turned again towards the still fighting woman.

"No..."

Before Haruka could say any more words the waitress came with their drinks and Hotaru's mash. She said something friendly to the girl and disappeared again between the tables. There were many people in the small Italian restaurant. It was known and very popular. Because the Italians here were very friendly. And the food was delicious.

Michiru took a deep breathe and let go of Haruka's hand. She took her daughter in her arms and started to feed her. First the little girl didn't want anything. But after she tasted the first spoon she wanted more. Greedy she ate and munched. And dirtied her clothes.

"No, it was the biggest compliment in my whole life..."

Michiru raised her head and looked straight into Haruka's suddenly very pale face. Surprised she frowned. Surprised about the low, shaky voice. Surprised about the sad look in watery green eyes.

Surprised that the other woman meant her words.

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"Happy birthday to you, dear Ami. Happy birthday to you!"

It sounded terrible. Usagi simply couldn't sing and Haruka and Mamoru's voices were simply too low for the girl high ones. But it was the nicest song Ami had ever heard. The girl sat in front of a huge table. A big cake, Makoto made, stood in front of her and several candles burned.

"Happy birthday to your 16th birthday, our genius!" shouted Minako and before the senshi of water could react the senshi of love had embraced her wildly. They almost landed on the ground but Rei could held them back before they fell off the chair.

"Arigato..." was all Ami could whisper.

"You should blow out your candles. All at once!" Chibiusa turned away from Hotaru in her child's seat to walk over to the huge table. They were in Rei's temple to celebrate Ami's birthday. It was a good place because here they could all spend the night without disturbing Michiru too much. They often asked for her house to celebrate other festivals. But they silently agreed that they shouldn't misuse the young violinist's friendship. So they asked Rei's granddad and he agreed.

Ami took a deep breathe and they all cheered up as she defeated the flames.

"That's our water senshi!" declared Minako giggling and watched greedy at the cake.

"Let's eat." Makoto giggled, too as she saw how Usagi and Chibiusa stepped closer and took their spoons in their hands.

"Greedy as always!" was Rei's only comment but her stomach growled, too. So they all sat down and ate.

Haruka watched them in silence. She sat next to Hotaru's child seat and watched the little girl sleeping. She could remember another birthday party. When she had been younger. Her mother had make a cake, too. And her father wore his bests clothes because they wanted to go out afterwards. Haruka could remember how excited she was because she got her first race car at that day and would take part at the Formula One the next week. For the very first time. And she wanted so badly to win it.

We didn't go out, because we got the hospital's phone call.

Her grandmother had at that very day a heart attack. They wanted to visit her before going to the restaurant. To take her with them. But destiny had been faster.

She died one week later.

Haruka swallowed hard and touched Hotaru's cheeks. The little baby raised on hand and grabbed her thumb tight.

She laid a whole week in coma and didn't wake up again.

The tall woman leaned forward and kissed carefully the tiny forehead. Hotaru smiled in her dreams.

Hope you'll never experience such pain.

Haruka winced as she heard the scream again in head. As she heard it almost every night. A death scream which destroyed her life forever. Completely.

Hope you'll be happy and careless forever. Innocent. I wish it for you, Himme-chan.

"Don't you want anything, too? It's really delicious. Makoto made it." Michiru sat down beside her with two plates in her hands.

"Arigato, Michiru!" shouted Makoto through the room and blushed as the other also declared that they liked her cake very much.

"Hai..." Haruka took one of the plates and looked at the chocolate cake. "Arigato..."

Michiru frowned and leaned closer.

"Don't make such a face. This is a party. Not a funeral!"

Haruka nodded and tried to smile. But she still felt as if she had lost a really important person.

Damn, the wounds are too fresh. Especially here in Japan. And up to now I couldn't find her. To apologise. To ask for forgiveness. To let those scars heal - at last...

Suddenly Michiru put her plate away and wrapped her arms around Haruka's waist. The taller woman blushed deeply and wanted to turn away but the young violinist hold her tight. Serious deep blue eyes looked into sad shinning green ones.

"Whatever's wrong, Ruka, you can tell me. 'Cause we're friends, aren't we?" she whispered and raised one head to ran through blonde strands. Wild strands that soon looked very messy.

Haruka took a deep breathe and it seemed as if she wanted to say anything as Minako rose from her chair and turned on the radio. Soon loud music filled the temple.

"Let's play some games!" she shouted and before the two woman could react they were grabbed by several hands and pushed into a circle. To accompany them in their birthday games. And to see if Ami liked their presents. Of course she did.

Soon laughter filled the air. Laughter and Usagi and Rei's arguing words of friendship.

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It was almost dawn. Still the night fought hard with the day but the first sunlight shone from behind the horizon and lightened up the dark sea. Michiru stood only in her sleeping dress on her balcony and took a deep breathe. She loved it to be up so early. To see a new day born. To hear the wide sea next to her, to feel the wild wind playing with her long hairs.

Where are you?

Her blue eyes were filled with tears and she wiped them away.

Where are you, Uranus?

But no one answered. There was no strong senshi out there. No fourth outer warrior for love and justice. No soul mate... Setsuna declared her that the last senshi of their milky way wouldn't awake anymore. That she probably wasn't born at all. Or that she died as a child before she got to know who she really was.

But I need you so much!

Michiru shivered and wrapped her arms around her waist. She closed her eyes and felt the wind increasing. He howled and it seemed as if he cried with her. For his lost child. The young violinist couldn't imagine her whole life being alone. Hai, she had her friends. Very good friends who cared a lot for her. But they couldn't replace her partner. Her lover. Her soul mate.

Uranus.

She was her partner by destiny. She loved her. Or at least the shadow she had seen that very day almost one year ago.

I miss you so much.

Michiru took another deep breathe and stepped back into her sleeping room. Automatically she walked over to her daughter's room and watched Hotaru sleeping deep and tight in her small bed. Her arms were wrapped around her toy and she smiled in her sleep. A small light burned in the darkness of the room but Michiru didn't switch it off. It would be on the next time she would look after her daughter.

I don't know where she is, but I am not alone. Not really.

Michiru looked down at the figure laying on crumbled blankets next to the child's bed. The young violinist told Haruka more than once that she could use her own room, her own bed. The taller woman only replied that the ground wasn't so hard and that she wanted to be near Hotaru. Michiru couldn't change her mind and so she let her.

She looks cute...

Michiru frowned over her own strange thought. Then she went on her knees. Haruka seemed to have an excited dream. She hugged her pillow tightly and her blanket laid next to her freezing body. She had curled herself up in a ball and shivered. But she didn't wake up. Her eyes were closed and Michiru giggled as she heard a silent snore. The young violinist reached for the blanket, corrected it and covered her friend's freezing body.

Friend?

Michiru looked into Haruka's face and couldn't help but to stroke through those wild blonde strands that felt like velvet.

Hai she's a friend.

Michiru sighed as she saw the dreamy smile on the other one's face. Haruka turned her head a little bit so that she could stroke her behind her ears.

She's a very good friend.

The young violinist rose and closed the door quietly behind her.

But she's not the one.

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	4. Chapter 3: and family

**Chapter three: ... and family**

The scream still filled her mind as she rose from her deep sleep. From her nightmares. Green eyes looked terrified around but calmed down as they looked into a light which shone in the darkness of Hotaru's room. The girl still slept deep and tight.

Damned!

Haruka took a deep breathe and glanced at her watch. Six o'clock in the morning. Time to take a short shower and then to change nappies and to prepare breakfast. That was something that couldn't burn. Even with Haruka as cook. The rolls got warm on the toaster, the coffee fresh from the machine and the mush was prepared by the microwave oven. And the fridge couldn't certainly burn jam, milk and butter.

Shortly she looked at the sleeping Hotaru, then she sneaked over to the bathroom and stripped her pyjama. It was a golden one which was very warm. And soft. Michiru gave it to her some days ago. After a night she froze terribly. First Haruka wondered if the young violinist had known about it but then she decided that it was simply chance.

The young woman yawned oppressed as she stepped into the shower. Cool water run down her body and she closed her eyes to enjoy it. She was used to stand up early in the morning. Normally to do her training. Now she cared for Hotaru so that Michiru could sleep a little bit longer. Often the young violinist had exhausting rehearsals that lasted until late night and she needed her sleep more than her nursemaid. Haruka could sleep at noon when Hotaru was fed and tired, too. When her mother was in the huge opera house and practised with the orchestra.

Okay, there're only ten rolls left and we need new nappies for Himme-chan. And...

Haruka made a note in her mind while she stepped out of the shower and watched herself in the huge mirror. Automatically she reached for her comb and ran it through her wet hairs. Green eyes stared back at her from her reflection and she swallowed hard. She knew those green eyes. She had seen them in her whole life. Every day when she woke up. Every night when she went to bed. Until that they. When they were closed forever.

Oh, mommy...

At that moment the door was pushed open and Michiru appeared in it's frame.

"Ruka? I just..." The young violinist stopped in motion and looked at the taller one's naked body. Haruka blushed deeply and reached for her towel to wrap it around her body. To hide it behind it.

Why is she staring at me?

She's so beautiful!

"Just gimme two seconds, then I'll fed Hotaru. She's still sleeping and so I'd thought I take a shower." Declared Haruka and was angry about herself.

Why am I blushing?

But she knew why. Damned, she knew it too well!

"I only wanted to tell you that my parents called me up two minutes ago. They're going to visit me tomorrow." Answered Michiru breathless and still stared at Haruka. At her wet hairs that hung in her asking green eyes. At the soft skin of her neck. One water drop fell from a blonde strand and ran over those skin. Ran under the wet towel to wet...

"Oh..." Haruka looked now really shocked. She thought of her last try to make a proper meal and groaned silently. "What..."

"Don't worry, Ruka." Michiru grinned and stepped nearer. She couldn't help and raised her right hand to ran it through the short wet hairs. "I'll help you with the dinner."

The young violinist giggled, turned around and was gone before Haruka could react.

"Arigato..." whispered the taller woman and frowned. Confused she stared at the closed door. Confused and ... happy?

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"The last time I saw them was on Christmas." Michiru crossed exited the kitchen for the tenth time this evening. She already wore her long narrow evening dress. The dark blue fitted perfectly to her eyes. Nervously she massaged her wrists and looked again at the food that covered the kitchen's table. They set another huge table in the candlelight room as Michiru called it. It was at the other end of the house and she wasn't suddenly sure any longer while she didn't set the table in the living-room.

No, they're used to luxurious rooms. The living-room is too private!

"And I was lucky that they had a day off. Normally they come when they have time. They missed my last birthday and I am sure they'll miss the next one." She smiled nervously at Haruka who leaned against the cupboard. She wore black trousers and a white shirt with a dark waistcoat. Again she looked more like a man than a woman.

"They are very famous, aren't they?"

"Hai." Michiru sighed deeply and walked over to the living-room. Hotaru laid in her cradle and yawned tired. The young violinist went on her knees and stroke her daughter thoughtfully. Loving. "They chose for that life. They're together. They have each other and I am the perfect daughter. I am almost as known as they are and I am independent." She sighed deeply. "I love them very much and I am sure that they love me, too. Very much. But we live in different worlds. They need the stage and the shimmering world beneath it. I simply need my friends and my..." Michiru took a deep breathe. "... and a family." She looked up and tears burned in her beautiful blue eyes. "I am very glad that I met you. Himme-chan's too important for me. Without you I would have been forced to give up my music. But I am different from my parents. They would have never gave up their music for me..." She smiled a shaky voice and fought hard against her tears. She put on make up and didn't want to ruin it now. Shortly before her parents would arrive.

"Hey, don't worry." Haruka kneeled down next to her and seized her shoulders carefully. "You don't have to give up anything."

Michiru raised her head and nodded. "I know." She whispered and took another deep breathe. She could smell the delicious food. They ordered it from a party service to make sure that it would be perfect.

Strange, I give this dinner for my parents as if they were strangers to me...

"They supported me - whatever I did. They helped me to become a famous violinist and... well, they accepted the last year when I became mother." Michiru leaned forward and kissed her daughter carefully. Then she turned to face Haruka.

"You love her, don't you?" she asked suddenly and felt now those soft hands on her shoulders.

Haruka swallowed hard and felt suddenly very cold.

She uses a nice eau de cologne. It smells so good. No, she smells so good.

The young woman looked over to the cradle and at the small child in it. She could remember washing her for so many times. Changing her nappies. Feeding her. Rocking her gently. Holding her tight. Singing her to sleep. Watching over her dreams. Wishing her all the best for her life.

Slowly Haruka nodded. "Hai..."

Michiru said nothing. She simply smiled.

At that moment someone knocked impatiently at the front door.

"Hell..." Michiru rose immediately and ran towards the entrance hall.

"Michiru?"

"Hai?" shortly she turned around and looked into a grinning tomboy's face.

"Don't give up."

Michiru shook her head and laughed nervously.

"Never!"

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"Daddy! Mommy!"

"Michiru-darling!"

Haruka stood in the shadows as she watched how the old couple stepped in. The man was very tall and still strong, but his hairs were silver now and his face showed a lot of folds. He smiled loving at his daughter. They both had the same deep blue eyes.

His wife was smaller than him. Almost smaller than Michiru. Her sea green hairs were shoulder long. Some silver strands were in it but she still looked young. Once she must have been a beauty.

Like Michiru...

"I am so glad you could come."

"Hai, but we can only stay this evening. Tomorrow's another concert in Hiroshima. And next week we'll have different concerts in China." Declared Michiru's mother while she stripped her warm coat. She wore a long white dress and some necklaces shimmered in the dimmed entrance hall's light.

"Oh..."

Haruka could hear the disappointment in her best friend's voice and clenched her fists.

"But now we're here." Her father's voice was full of love as he embraced his one and only daughter again. "And now let's say hello to our granddaughter."

"Granddaughter!"

"Momoko!" Michiru's father looked warning at his wife but she ignored his looked. Her dark eyes sparkled as she looked critically at her daughter.

"Do you still have the idea to raise this poor child on your own? You don't have the time to be a mother, Michiru! You have a big career with your violin and there's less time between concerts, tests and interviews for a small child of her age."

"I thought we've already discussed this topic, mother. And I thought that I made my point clear!" snapped Michiru back and sighed deeply. This wasn't going how she had planned it. She saw her parents so seldom that she didn't want to argue with them. But her mother ignored her pleading looks perfectly. As she had always done. All those 18 long years.

"Oh, you made your crazy point clear! You take care of a child who isn't your own one. Just because you know that Dr. Tomoe a little and suddenly you want to be desperately a mother for his daughter after his sudden death. Although you are only 18. Just old enough to adopt her! You don't even know how to change nappies! How to take care for her when she's ill! Maybe she's now a calm child but just wait until she gets her first teeth. Then she will cry the whole night and you won't get any sleep. You will ruin your first concerts and after a while your whole career..."

"Mommy, please..." Michiru pleaded and sighed deeply. Shaky.

"And then your other point you made so clear: You will raise this child alone, because your soul mate, as you call this person, isn't here yet. Hell, girl, you're 18 now! I got to know your father when I was 15 and we married when we were 19. How long will you wait? You need someone to take care for you. Not a child you have to take care for instead. And don't tell me again about that one! That's just a ghost, an imagination! If this person would really exist you would invite us. But I never seen you around with someone. Just with those crazy girls... and..."

"They're my friends while you're on tour!" screamed Michiru and clenched her fists. "And don't you ever dare to talk in that way about Himme-chan. I adopted her the last year because I love her. I want to be her mother and understand finally that she's your granddaughter. Her whole life, because I won't leave her." Michiru swallowed hard and some tears ran down her cheeks. "And don't you ever dare to talk about the one anymore. That's my life and it's my love. You can't control me, mother! Not any longer. This is my life. Here, in this house! Together with my friends and my Himme-chan. And if I'll wait for the rest of my life for the one, then it's my business. Mine, mother. Do you hear me? Mine, not yours!"

Michiru sobbed quietly.

It's always been my business. To search for the talismans. To defeat Mistress 9. To take care for Hotaru. It's always been my destiny of being alone. You were on tour, mother. I grew up in several schools like Mugen Gakkuen. I was the only outer senshi until Pluto awoke. I had to find the talisman owned in my heart alone. There was no one by my side. No other senshi. No friend. No soul mate. It's been all my business...

"We only want to see you happy, Michiru-darling. Don't you know?" whispered her father and took her into his strong arms. "And we're only concerned about you, Michiru. We don't want to see you alone."

Haruka sighed deeply and stepped out of the shadow.

"She isn't all alone." She declared and smiled a frozen smile towards the still raging old woman. "And you shouldn't make her cry when you really love her as parents!"

Michiru's mother stared shocked and angry at the intruder. Haruka glanced back with a look that made sure that she didn't want to hear another argument. That she didn't want to see Michiru crying again. Her clenched fists showed the old woman that she would indeed kick them out of this house if they didn't change their hurting behaviour towards their daughter.

Michiru coughed and interrupted the strange silence that evolved between her best friend and her mother. Like a fight only they two fought. Without the other ones being around.

"Mommy, this is Tenô Haruka. She one of my best friends and she helps me with Hotaru while I am on tour." Invited Michiru and made clear that Haruka wasn't a nursemaid anymore. A servant. That she was a very good friend. Whom she could trust.

"Haruka, these are Kaioh Momoko and Kaioh Gendo, my parents."

They shook hands and bowed.

"She's a friend?" Momoko frowned and looked critically at the young woman standing in front of her. "And I thought she's your lover." Suddenly she looked really disappointed. "So she isn't your one . Otherwise you would look a little bit happier" It sounded a little bit depressed. And sad.

Haruka felt how she blushed and wanted to turn away from the old woman. At that moment Hotaru started desperately to scream. The young woman used her chance and went over to the living-room.

Perfect timing. Arigato, princess.

Carefully she took the crying girl in her arms. The tiny fists were clenched and the small face was redden.

"Hush, princess." Whispered Haruka and knew that it was time for another nappy's change. "You'll be dry in about five minutes." She reached for the toy and gave it Hotaru who stopped to scream. But she looked very unsure. And if nothing would happen she would surely cry again.

Haruka went out to the corridor again. Suddenly she felt very ill and her head ache. But she knew that those weren't any signs of a cold or a flew. Her body trembled while she walked towards the family. Mother and daughter were arguing again.

Will I be forced to leave if her one comes one day?

Haruka swallowed hard and the nausea increased inside her belly. Sadly she looked down into tired dark eyes.

I won't be able to leave her. Never.

The young woman squeezed the little girl tighter.

Nor will I ever be able to leave her mother for good..

"I'll change her nappies. Just five minutes. Then I'll help you with the dinner." With those words she walked upstairs. Not looking into Michiru's now wet face again. Seeing the pain in deep blue eyes she liked so much.

"And then we'll eat a delicious apple mash, won't we, Himme-chan?" teased Haruka and danced some minutes later around the table. Hotaru looked up at her and laughed happily. Her little arms reached for her and she babbled something the tall woman couldn't understand.

"And then you'll see your grandparents and have a nice evening. Because you're our small princess. Our little darling..." Haruka made some funny faces and the girl laughed even more. She squeaked as the young woman tickled her while she helped her out of her dirty nappy and cleaned her tiny backside.

"Those women are driving me crazy!" declared suddenly a low voice from the door and Michiru's father entered Hotaru's room. "Hope you two are a little bit nicer to an old man like me." He grinned as he looked down at his granddaughter while Haruka changed with trained hands the nappies and helped her into her pyjama again.

"Don't worry, Tenô-san, they argue a lot but they love each other. Well, at least it's kind of a hate-and-love-love they got. We were too often far away and didn't notice how fast our small child grew up. Suddenly she's a lady. With a daughter and with her head full of ideas. Full of music." He sighed deeply. "And full of nonsense." Carefully he reached his hand and stroke over round cheeks. Black eyes looked big at him.

"Soon they will forgive each other and we'll have a nice evening. As ever."

"Do you want to hold her, Kaioh-san?" asked Haruka and took Hotaru in her hands and carefully in her grandfather's arms. The old man looked frightened at the small girl. Frightened of hurting her. Of letting her fall. Of being a bad granddad. But Haruka knew that he loved the child the way she did.

"Hello, Hotaru-chan. Here's your granddad." He whispered and laughed as Hotaru raised on hand and touched his big nose. "You're cheeky, don't ya know, little darling? Just like your mother." He sighed again. A little bit exhausted. And concerned. "I wish she would find a partner who loves her and Himme-chan. Although Michiru pretends to be strong and independent she needs someone to take care for her. She isn't the person who's able to live all alone. And now she's chasing after a ghost. Since last year, shortly before she adopted Hotaru-chan, she fell in love with a stranger. She said that she once saw this person and that she knows that the one will return one day." The old man shook his head. "She should face reality and stop her silly dream. She has a daughter and responsibility for this tiny life. But it's more responsibility than she is able to carry all alone." At that moment Hotaru started terribly to scream. Her grandfather looked really shocked. And helpless.

"Hush, princess. You shouldn't terrify your granddad in such a way." Haruka took the little girl again in her arms and rocked her gently. Hotaru whimpered and slowly her tears dried. "That's better, princess. Don't you see that crying is too exhausting? Think of your mash and enjoy the presence of your grandparents." Whispered Haruka and kissed Hotaru's cheeks without thinking. The little girl suddenly laughed and leaned her tiny head against her chest. She closed her eyes and yawned. Trusted that warm embrace unconditionally.

Michiru's father watched her in silence. He frowned but a thin smile appeared on his old face as he watched his granddaughter sleep.

"I was very concerned when I came here ten minutes ago." He declared quietly. "I thought that my Michiru is alone and stressed. That she tries desperately to be a perfect musician, a perfect daughter and now a perfect mother all at once. But now I see that she has someone who cares about Hotaru-chan, too. Arigato, Tenô-san. Michiru talked quite often about her friends in her letters or on the phone, but I never thought that they were real. That they were really that nice and friendly."

Haruka blushed as she heard his voice. But her eyes still shone sadly as she looked at the sleeping baby in her strong arms.

A good friend. That's more than I ever expected.

She rocked Hotaru gently and summed a sweet melody. Neither the baby nor her grandfather cared that she summed it the wrong way.

A good friend. One day I'll have to leave them.

Haruka swallowed hard and sighed deeply as she heard the other shouting downstairs that the dinner was ready.

A good friend. That's less than I want to be.

But at the same time she knew that she would never be family.

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The soft melody of a piano flew through the air. They all sat around the black instrument and watched Michiru's father playing. He was the best piano player in whole Japan. Maybe the best in the whole world.

Hotaru slept deep and tight in Haruka's arms. She was full and satisfied. Loved.

Michiru's mother knew the melody her husband was playing and hummed quietly. Michiru smiled as she rose and took her violin in her hands. Then she stepped next to her father. They both exchanged short glances and nodded. Then the young violinist closed her eyes and started to play.

Wonderful...

Haruka swallowed hard. It was the first time that she saw Michiru playing. Normally she had been too busy to practice at home. She had her rehearsals at the opera and Haruka baby sit Hotaru so that she had never had the chance to visit one of her best friend's concerts.

The melody was soft and slow. Romantic but yet bitter sweat.

Like love...

Haruka took a deep breathe and lowered her head to stare at the small baby in her arms. Once there had been a time she listened to such a wonderful play, too. When she was a little child. Young, sweet. Innocent.

Please forgive me, mommy...

But she wasn't there any more. She couldn't ask her for forgiveness. There was only one person left she could ask for peace. But yet she didn't find her. She knew that she lived in Japan, probably in Tokyo.

The melody decreased and ended like a leave taken away by the autumn's wind. Michiru's mother clapped in her hand while her father simply smiled at her.

"With every time I see you you're more beautiful and more talented than ever." He declared and Michiru giggled over his sudden compliment.

"You flatterer." She giggled and stroke over her instrument. Then she laid it carefully aside. They shared a nice dinner and talked a lot about their own tours. The old couple about their tour to Italy, Spain and Mexico. And to China during the next weeks. Michiru told them about the tour she would do in almost two months for some weeks while she watched Haruka who fed her daughter patiently. And suddenly Michiru asked herself if she was really able to leave Hotaru and her best friend for such a long time.

"Are you able to play an instrument, too, Tenô-san?" asked Momoko curious. Of course she asked. She was a musician by heart and for her it was a question like asking after one's name, date of birth and blood group.

"Hai." Haruka nodded slightly and smiled sadly over to the black piano. She felt again the feeling in her hands. As if she wanted to touch the keyboard again. To hear the soft melody. To hear her loving words between every single note... "But I am not as good as Kaioh-san. So..."

"Oh, don't blame yourself, Tenô-san. Just a small piece of Country music. It's really easy, believe me. We're just musicians, please forgive us. If there's anyone out there who is able to play an instrument we have to listen to him." Declared Gendo with a smile on his face as he rose from his chair. Slowly he walked over to her and took his granddaughter in his arms again.

"I didn't know that you play the piano." Said Michiru and frowned as the tall woman sat behind the black instrument. Suddenly she looked very pale. And unsure.

"As long as you don't have to sing." Giggled the young violinist and earned a warning look which made her giggle even more.

Haruka swallowed and looked down at the black and white keys. Her fingers trembled as she touched them. Her green eyes looked concentrated on the sheet and the tiny notes. It was a Country song every child knew in Japan. It was easy and she played it automatically.

Hey, Haru-chan! Come over and listen to my new song!" Suddenly she heard the loving voice again in her head. Without mentioning she changed the Country music until she heard the song again as she had heard it at that evening. For more than just one time. Until the voice was satisfied with it.

Can you see Japan's coast? It's meadows and rice fields? The hot sun burning from a blue sky? The endless ocean and the tiny houses made of paper? Again she nodded as she did that day. She closed her eyes and saw the beautiful woman sitting next to her. Playing with her.

That's my home Country. That's where you was born, Haru-chan. Can you remember our small house there?" Again she nodded. Of course she could remember. Every single day of her wonderful childhood. With her mother who loved her.

Mommy, I love you so much!

Haruka felt how soft hands ran through her short blonde hairs. Comforting. Loving.

I just had to write this song, Haru-chan! Do you like it?"

Haruka nodded and her fingers flew over the keys without mentioning it. The music filled the air. Her world. Her whole life.

Of course I love your music. Your music is so wonderful, mommy!

I wrote it for you, Haru-chan. So there's always a melody for you. Even if I am gone one day."

No!

Haruka opened her eyes but the beautiful woman was gone. Now she sat again alone next to the piano. Alone and left.

I miss you so much, mommy...

Haruka took a deep breathe and ended the melody abruptly. She swallowed hard and felt tears burning in her eyes.

Damned instrument!

She blinked as she heard the applause and remembered suddenly that she wasn't alone.

"That was a real understatement, Tenô-san! You played like I used to do when I was in your age." Declared Gendo, still clapping his big hands.

"It's a long time ago that I heard this song. It's called Japan's wind , isn't it?" Momoko sighed and wiped away some tears from the corner of her eyes with her white handkerchief. "Once there was a young woman who was very popular with it. She was the greatest piano player of her generation. I've never seen one like her again." Michiru's mother sighed again.

"Hai, darling. She was a great woman. She told all musicians that music is more than simply playing notes. She played with all her heart and reached people with her soft melodies. It's a long time ago since I heard this song, too. And the last time I heard it in such a moving way was..." Gendo shook his head. "Maybe that was on her last concert when she played it. Before she married her husband and moved with him to America. I never heard about her again. What was her name, darling?"

"I don't know..." Momoko searched her memory but she couldn't find the name there.

Tenô Kyoko.

Haruka sighed deeply and rose from the chair.

"It's better I'll bring Hotaru to bed." She whispered and took the baby in her arms. Silently she left the room without looking back on the black instrument she used to love so much. She now hated.

Michiru watched her go and frowned.

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She tried to collect the plates and to take the food into the fridge. To tidy up the chaos of the kitchen. But she knew that it was too much now and that she was tired.

"Just leave it where it is. The service firm will tidy it up." Whispered Michiru and yawned. It was five o'clock in the morning and her parents left some minutes ago. "I am rich enough to pay the firm to tidy up our chaos." She giggled quietly and looked deep into dark green eyes. Now they were dry but she had seen the tears after the touching melody ended so suddenly.

"Okay." Sighed Haruka exhausted and stretched her arms to loose her muscles.

"Hotaru's sleeping?"

"Like an angel."

"Good."

Haruka winced as Michiru embraced her suddenly and held her determined tight as she wanted to escape.

"Nani?"

"You simply looked as if you needed a good friend." Whispered Michiru and leaned her head against the warm shoulder. "I need a friend."

The taller woman smiled sadly as she thought of Kaioh Gendo's words.

"Hai." She whispered and embraced the young woman in return. They stood there for about an hour. Without moving. Without speaking. Without thinking.

At dawn they separated and every one went to her own bed. Laying down. Laying ready for sleep. Laying awake for another long hour. Haruka listened to Hotaru's regular breathes while Michiru listened to the calming rushes of the sea.

Guess that's what we all need.

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"Happy birthday, little darling." Haruka looked at the still sleeping girl. It was in the middle of the night. At four o'clock but the young woman couldn't sleep any longer. In the shine of the small lamp she studied the tiny face and swallowed hard. Then she reached for an old teddy bear who seemed to bare a lot of stormy hugs and laid it next to the baby.

"When I was a small child my mother gave it to me. He should watch over me when she's not with me." She whispered and swallowed hard. Her trembling hands stroke carefully over fluffy hairs. Michiru told her yesterday that it was Hotaru's birthday. In the middle of July. On that special date.

"Now he should watch over you and take care for you when I am not around... one day..." Haruka took a deep breathe but couldn't hold back two tears that were running down her pale cheeks. "I want to stay forever, Himme-chan, but I am not sure if I am allowed to. But he will never leave you, princess."

Hai, he had been there when my mother died. He had been that day when I awoke again. Today just one year ago. From a deep dream I didn't want to awake again...

"I love you, small princess." Haruka shook her head.

I've been so stupid. If they wouldn't have find me right in time I would have never got to know her. Nor Michiru...

"I love you so much..."

Slowly she lowered her head and started silently to sob.

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She stood on the huge balcony. Staring motionless into the black waves of the wide sea. Wild wind played with her long night dress and her messed sea green hairs. Tears shimmered in her blue eyes and she simply let them fall.

It's now over one year ago that Sailor Moon rescued Himme-chan. Now Hotaru's one year old.

Michiru swallowed hard and couldn't held back a sob.

It's now over one year that I saw her for the first and the last time.

Uranus.

She went on her knees and covered her burning face with her icy hands.

Where are you, my soul mate? Will I ever see you again?

Michiru thought at her mother's words and sobbed louder.

Am I really crazy? Was she just a ghost? An imagination of my lonely soul? Is she really unreal? And my love? Is it unreal, too? Just an exaggeration after a long, exhausting, dangerous battle?

Michiru didn't know. There was now answer on her silent questions she wanted to cry out. But she knew that no one would have heard her desperate screams. All she knew was that she was lonely. Damned lonely. And that she was fed up with that bloody loneliness.

Uranus...

The young violinist shook her head and her whole body trembled as she cried harder.

Haruka...

But she didn't dare to say it aloud.

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"And you gave her your old teddy? You didn't have to do that." Michiru looked surprised at the toy Hotaru held tight in her tiny arms. As if she would never gave it away again. "Guess you have many memories with it."

"Hai." Haruka watched the fridge and made another note on her list. She wanted to go to the supermarket and Michiru wanted to join her. "But I wanted her to give it."

"It's a very personal present." Whispered the young violinist and stroke a strand of her sea green hairs behind her ears.

"Hai..."

The telephone rang and Michiru picked it up. She wore a light blue summer dress. It was in the middle of July and very hot in Japan. Summer showed it's power and all people had to sweat. Haruka chose herself a short blue jeans and a white t-shirt. Sunglasses were put in her blonde hairs and the longer Michiru looked at the tomboy the more she didn't want to look away afterwards.

"Nani?" The young violinist asked surprised. Then she looked at her watch and nodded. "Okay, I am there. In two minutes." She declared and was suddenly very busy.

"I have to go. Are you able to shop with Hotaru on your own?" she said very excited and was gone when Haruka nodded. The young woman could hear the door slam but there was no sound of the engine.

Does she want to take the bus? Where is she going to!

Haruka sighed and walked over to the little girl.

"Sometimes you're mother is very strange." She said and Hotaru looked as if she agreed her completely.

But I like her very much.

Haruka took the list, the cheque card and the baby and left quietly the light house by the sea. She liked Michiru very much. But she would have never admitted it.

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"And another ten apples." Counted Haruka and looked from the list into her trolley and at Hotaru who sat in it, too. In her child's seat. Laughing happily. "It's amazing how much fruits your mother eats. And fish..." she frowned as she read the list again. "But she actually forgot my pizza!" she giggled and turned around to look at the shelves again. "Where the hell is the milk and..."

Hotaru heard the known voice curse and smiled. She turned her tiny head and observed another small child. It was a boy of her age. Another person stood to the other trolley and smiled loving at the son. The baby stretched his hands and shouted loudly at the person who smiled and took him into strong arms.

"Okay, here comes the milk. And now..." Haruka looked again at the list and groaned. She wasn't born for shopping. Michiru liked it quite more. But Michiru didn't have the time to do it and after all it was her task - as a nursemaid. Although the young violinist declared her more than once that she was a very good friend she never forgot how she got to known Michiru and Hotaru.

"What do you wanna eat, small princess? Again apple mash? Or orange mash? Oh, look, they have mash with nuts and honey and..." Haruka took a package in her hand and showed it to a still laughing Hotaru. "It's all sweet, but you are a sweet baby, aren't you, princess?"

Hotaru laughed louder and stretched her tiny arms towards the tall woman. She said only one word. Her first word.

"Daddy!"

The package fell on the ground and soon white powder covered the supermarket's flagstones. Haruka looked shocked at the grinning girl. At the stretched arms. Heard again and again the high voice in her head.

Daddy! 

"But..." her voice was rough and there was a big lump in her throat. "I am not your daddy." She whispered and swallowed hard. Hotaru's face changed from happiness into depression and sadness. And anger. Still she stretched her arms towards the young woman and looked as if she was going to cry within the next minute.

"But I wish I was it..."

Now Hotaru started really to cry. High and loud. Depressed and angry. Desperate.

Haruka blinked and shook slightly her head. Then she took the still crying girl in her trembling arms and hold her tight. Hotaru stopped to cry and reached instead for her hairs. A lucky laughter filled the air but Haruka didn't feel happy.

She called me daddy.

Haruka had been Hotaru's first word. But she knew that it wasn't the truth. That it was just an illusion. A dream that would never come true.

I wish so badly I was it.

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Love town. No place to settle down... 

She turned the radio on as she left the huge parking space next to the shopping centre. Hotaru laid in her child's seat on the backseat and played with her teddy. She babbled something only she could understand.

Slowly Haruka drove to the main road and speeded up. She wanted to make salad for dinner and tried to remember the right receipt.

Well, at least I won't burn it and Michiru will be able to eat it without a frozen smile on her face.

Normally Michiru would do the dinner and Haruka tidy up the kitchen afterwards. Normally, if the young violinist wasn't in a hurry.

Strange, sometimes it feels like a real family...

Haruka swallowed hard and controlled her rear view mirror.

Have you got what you want? Have you got what you need? 

The low man's voice filled the car and Haruka opened the roof so that she sat in a caprio. She loved it to drive Michiru's Ferrari and automatically she smiled while the wind played with her short blonde hairs.

Do I have what I want? What I need?

Again she looked into the mirror and saw Hotaru playing with her teddy bear. A tender smile appeared on Haruka's face.

I love her so much.

Then she frowned as she saw the black car coming after her. The driver, a young man of maybe eighteen years, switched his lights on and showed her his fist. Then he drove faster and closer up to her until she wasn't able to see his lights anymore.

"Baka!" she growled and rolled her eyes. They crossed another street near a lively pedestrian precinct and the driver after her honked loud and impatiently. Then he tried to overtake her.

"Baka!" Haruka shook her head as she saw the yellow car on the other side of the road. The old woman seemed to be very shocked to see the black racer on her side of the road. The young man didn't think and tried to escape. He came over to Haruka again and the young woman winced as she heard how he hit the silver Ferrari.

Again she heard the yells of her fans in her mind.

She concentrated and grabbed the wheel harder. He tried to pull her towards the pedestrian precinct. Were many people were. Children, mothers and fathers, grandparents. Brothers and sisters. Friends.

No!

Haruka grabbed the steering wheel harder and forced the black car to stay on his road.

There are so many people out there. I can't let them harm again.

The young woman swallowed hard as she saw the wall of the huge department store. The bend was to narrow for their high speed.

I will never ever harm innocent people again.

She braked as she was sure that they left the area of the pedestrian precinct. The wall flew nearer and she heard how the black and the yellow car collided. She heard the laughter of Hotaru on the backseat. Then she heard the scream again in her mind. Her death scream.

"Please..." she whimpered and grabbed the steering wheel and the brake hard. The wheels made a loud noise and she felt how the belt tightened around her body. Then the silver Ferrari stood near the wall. Only one inches away. There was no place for a thicker newspaper left.

Take a good look around in love town! 

The radio was driving her crazy. As the noise around on the street. As the scream inside her head.

At the next moment the two other cars crashed into the Silver Ferrari. They all exploded in a huge ball of fire that could still be seen some miles away.

Have you got what you came for? Are you really so sure... 

The radio died away. All that remained was silence.

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"I'd call it a wonder."

Michiru took a deep breathe and calmed her excited nerves down as she saw into the doctor's smiling face.

He wouldn't smile if anything would be wrong with them, would he?

"Your sister had a bad scratch on her right shoulder. We had to stitch it with three stitches but she'll be okay. Your daughter is okay. We did some tests but she isn't hurt. She's very lively and cried while your sister was away with a nurse. But she was happy to see her again." The doctor shook his head and sighed deeply. He had a long day after him and still there were another relatives he would see this evening. But they weren't as happy as the young woman sitting in front of him. Their son didn't survive the accident. Although the tomboy who tried to safe him - and the other woman, too – gave her best to pull him out of the burning vehicle. But it had been too late.

Well, at least she could safe herself, her niece and the old woman.

"Your sister must have really good reflexes. Otherwise she wouldn't been able to escape your car. It became a deadly trap after the other two cars crashed into it. But she grabbed her niece and jumped out of the burning vehicle. Very brave! Very good reflexes. Just like a car racer..."

Michiru didn't listen closer. The cop outside told her most of the story, the doctor told her know that everything was okay with Haruka and with Hotaru.

"My sister?" she asked after a while and frowned.

"Hai. Isn't she your sister? Tenô-san yelled at the nurses that she was family when they wanted to take Hotaru away. She's now at your daughter's room. She simply didn't want to go in her own room to lay down. She declared that she's okay and the tests are okay. She's old enough and we can't tell her what to do."

No one can.

Michiru nodded and rose from the chair.

Family...

"You can take your two home if you want, Kaioh-san. It's a wonder. Without your sister your daughter and another woman who was victim of this accident, too, would be dead."

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She sat next to the child's bed. Looking down at the sleeping small girl who hold an old crumbled teddy in her tiny arms. A smile laid on her innocent face.

Strands of blonde hairs fell into green eyes. Deeply she sighed and winced as the door was pushed open.

"Himme-chan!" Michiru stumbled over to the bed and took her sleeping daughter in her arms. Gently she rocked her and oppressed a desperate sob. "My sweet little darling." The girl yawned and settled down into sleep again. She didn't understand what happened. And she didn't want to know it - as long as she was with the persons she trusted. She needed. She loved.

"Gomen, Michiru. I didn't want to hurt her."

Michiru turned around as she heard the shaky voice. She looked into swollen green eyes and suddenly asked herself if Haruka had cry. The taller woman hold her arm and surely it hurt a lot. The young violinist swallowed hard and nodded bravely. She didn't want to break down sobbing. All she wanted was to go home and thank god that they were both alive and healthy.

"Let's go home, Ruka."

Haruka nodded and followed her silently.

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Carefully Michiru sat down on the armchair and started to fed her daughter. Hotaru was very hungry and ate with appetite after those long hours at hospital. It was almost dawn, the night was over. Michiru felt tired. They had a rude battle with another, a new youma. Rei had a bad vision and they all stayed at the temple to discuss if there were new enemies coming over them.

Over that argument I forgot time.

When she came home she found a short note of the hospital on her telephone answering machine.

Never ever I want be so afraid again in my whole life!

She hadn't even been so afraid when she got to know that she owned one of the talismans and that she could die to give it free. She hadn't even been so afraid when Sailor Saturn tried to sacrifice herself for the world and Usagi couldn't transform into Super Sailor Moon because they needed the third talisman to found the Holy Grail. She hadn't even been so afraid when they told her that Dr. Tomoe died and she was the only person left to take care for Hotaru.

"Ruka?" she raised her head and looked at the tall woman who stood unsure in the door frame and watched how she fed her daughter. They didn't speak on their whole way home. Mamoru who came to the hospital after she called him bought them home. Although he had a very important exam the next day. Although it was six o'clock in the morning.

He's a good friend.

She swallowed hard as she looked into a pale face, into empty looking green eyes.

And she's my best one...

"Sit down, Ruka!" she said and Hotaru grabbed for the spoon to get more of her favourite mash. She munched and smiled satisfied. At her slow motions Michiru could see that the bandaged arm hurt a lot even if Haruka didn't want to show her. The tall woman sat down and lowered her head. Silently she stared at her folded hands and sighed deeply.

"Gomen, Michiru..." whispered Haruka after a while and closed her eyes.

She will never forgive me! There're so many people out there I hurt with my silly behaviour and now I hurt her, too...

"I didn't want to waste all the food. I didn't want to ruin your silver Ferrari. It was a fast and very expensive car." She swallowed hard and pressed her eyelids together to hold back her tears. Tears of tiredness. Tears of sadness. Tears of despair.

"Gomen, I promised you never to hurt Himme-chan..." The last sentence sounded more like a sob and Michiru could see how Haruka's shoulders, her whole body shook. The young violinist sighed slightly and cleaned Hotaru's face. The girl yawned happily. Full and satisfied. Then she settled into sleep.

"Don't worry, Ruka. Food is replaceable." She stood up and walked over to the cradle. Carefully she took her sleeping daughter down and covered her with the soft blanket. "I can buy a new Ferrari. I am not so keen on cars but I simply like how it looks. Okay, it is expensive but I earn enough money with my concerts to buy another, hell, to buy another hundred ones!" She walked over to Haruka and sat down next to the tall woman on the couch.

"You didn't hurt Himme-chan. Hell, you saved her! The cops and the docs told me everything. Without you I would have lost her." she swallowed hard and stroke through short hairs. The other woman trembled and sobbed quietly. "I would have lost you, Ruka." Michiru wrapped her arms around the shaking body and pulled her best friend closer.

She yelled she was family...

"I am so happy that you both are okay, Ruka. You're all I've got." She squeezed her tight and buried her head at the strong shoulder.

Haruka looked up and tears sparkled in her dark green eyes. Then she nodded.

You're all I've got, too, Michiru.

But she didn't say it aloud. The young violinist could see it in her look and squeezed her even harder. The sun rose from the ocean and it's morning light slowly filled the living-room. For a while the two woman simply sat there until Michiru yawned and felt how Haruka started to reel. Another short look said Michiru that the taller woman almost felt asleep.

Hai, it had been a very long, very exciting day.

"Ruka?" Michiru crept back and pulled the taller one with her. "Just relax and try to get some sleep." She whispered and covered herself and Haruka with a soft blanket which always laid over the couch's backrest.

"Maybe it's better to go to my own room..." whispered Haruka and her voice was full of sleep while she felt soft arms wrapped around her body and suddenly she stopped to freeze. Since she came to the hospital and waited for Hotaru's test's results she froze like hell. But suddenly it was warm under the soft blanket. Besides a warm body. Suddenly she felt loved.

How I missed this feeling. It's such a long time ago...

Haruka yawned oppressed and made a face as her arm started to hurt again. Slowly she drifted into sleep.

I love you, Himme-chan.

Slightly she smiled as she felt a soft hand stroking carefully her short hairs. As she felt the young woman next to her on the wide couch. Under one warm blanket. A woman who was her best friend. Who was her life. Who forgave her by bringing Hotaru into danger.

I love you, Michi-chan.

"No, it's fine this way. Just stay, Ruka."

Michiru enjoyed the feeling of Haruka next to her. She stroke blonde strands, caressed warm cheeks.

Hope she's not getting ill.

The young violinist leaned herself against her best friend but she knew that she wouldn't find so easily sleep. There was so much she had to think about.

If she's getting ill, I'll take care for her.

Michiru heard the regular breathes of the tall woman, felt how her body slowly relaxed and knew that Haruka was asleep. Then she heard her daughter's high, fast breathes and smiled loving. Hai, here she was at home. Here she wasn't alone any longer. Not with those two people by her side.

Here's my family.

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	5. Chapter 4: Your music in my soul

**Chapter four: Your music in my soul**

The baby crawled quickly through the living-room. Over soft carpets and pillows directly into the person's arms she loved almost as much as her mother.

"That's unfair that you're so lively now." Teased Haruka and tickled the small girl tenderly. Little Hotaru laughed happily and her arms grabbed after short blonde hairs. One could see a small white tooth in the baby's mouth. A single tooth and it wasn't completely out of the gum yet. Maybe another two days and Hotaru would be able to show her first tooth. And Haruka would be able to tell an reporter how great it was to lay awake all the night. To listen to Hotaru's painful cries. To know that there was no way to calm the baby down. She tried it with singing, with telling stories. With camomile tea. But the little child spited it out and kept crying. Until she was too tired or the pain decreased a little bit.

"But I am glad to see you laughing again." Whispered Haruka and oppressed a yawn. Hotaru slept the whole day while she tried to tidy up the house. "And I am glad your mommy's not around these nights." Michiru went on tour a week ago. She would be at different big cities in Japan. Alone for the first week, together for the following two with the newest boy group and the first violin in Japan's famous Orchestra for the last week.

"What do you want for dinner? I made mashed potatoes. Do you want to taste it, too? With a lot of ketchup and some stirred eggs?" Haruka giggled as Hotaru pulled at her blonde strands and made a depressive face as she recognized that they weren't as long as her mother's hairs.

"Oh, you wouldn't be pleased to see me with long hairs." Laughed Haruka and fell from her siting position on her back down the soft carpet. She took Hotaru in her hands and hold her above her head. The little girl laughed in pleasure and spreat her arms as if she wanted to fly.

"Mo!" screamed Hotaru and her dark hairs flew in her small face. She started to talk three weeks ago, in the beginning of August. Michiru behaved crazy the whole day after Hotaru spoke her first word: Mommy. She called up all her friends and even reached her father on the handy between two interviews. Setsuna feared that Michiru's face would torn apart by her big grin and the rest of the girls came in the evening to stare at Hotaru as if she was the eight world wonder.

You're the greatest wonder on this earth for your mommy.

Haruka sighed deeply and let the baby down until she laid on her chest. Tenderly she stroke through black hairs which grew longer with every week.

The young woman didn't tell Michiru that mommy hadn't been Hotaru's first word. She didn't want to hurt her. Besides Haruka still didn't know how to react when the little girl showed her all her love.

She doesn't know what her words mean.

But Haruka couldn't get rid of the strange feeling that Hotaru definitively knew at whom she looked with her big dark eyes.

"Bababa!" babbled Hotaru happily and crawled over Haruka to get to the old teddy which still laid on the ground next to the couch. Soon it became her most favourite toy and she cried when it wasn't with her.

Haruka stretched her right arm and touched Hotaru's left leg and hold it tight. She giggled as the little girl tried to escape and threw another toy after her.

"You can be very stubborn, don't ya know, Himme-chan?" The girl kicked softly with her small leg and made a face as if she was very angry. "Keep your will to live, princess." Haruka rolled over to the girl and took her into her strong arms. "Love you."

Hotaru raised her head and her big dark eyes looked up into sad green ones. Then the little girl started to smile. An honest, innocent child's smile.

The ringing of the handy was loud. Haruka winced and gave Hotaru her teddy. Then she stood up and went over to the table. Without taking a look off the small girl.

"At Kaioh" she said and expected a crying Usagi, a serious Setsuna or a laughing Minako. But it was Michiru.

"Hi, Ruka." The voice was very silent. "How is Himme-chan doing?"

The tall woman sat down next to the small child again and swallowed hard.

"Did you cry?" she asked alarmed and now her green eyes were full of concern.

"No..." But her voice betrayed the young violinist.

"She's fine. Last night we got our first tooth and I guess there won't any sea birds here the next year. Himme-chan scared them all to death with her angry screams." Haruka giggled but her smile died away as she heard the quiet sob at the other side on the phone.

"Michiru, what's wrong with you? Come on, you can tell your problems to old Haruka, neh?" Haruka frowned as she heard another silent sob. The last evenings Michiru called her up shortly before her concerts started and she was full of power. Full of luck and joy. Full of her wonderful music. But today she seemed to be frightened. Haruka could feel her loneliness and her sadness.

"Maybe it sounds... sounds silly..." whispered Michiru and Haruka could hear her swallow. "But can you take Himme-chan and come to Nagasaki? There'll be my next concerts with those guys tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and..." Again another sob. "It's my first real tour for over a year now and..." There was another pause but Haruka waited patently, although she would have given all her money to see Michiru and not only to hear her. To take her in her arms and to comfort her until she felt better. "I simply feel so alone and I am so fed up to be alone my whole life..." Another sob and another gulp. "I miss my Himme-chan and..." Another pause. "... and I miss you, too."

Haruka closed her eyes and took a deep breathe.

She can't mean it the way she says it. I am only her nursemaid.

Then she smiled.

Whatever she wants me to do I guess I'd do it. I am almost as crazy about her than I am about Himme-chan. I love you two.

But she would have rather eaten her tongue than saying it aloud. Than loosing the friendship and the small girl's love she already got. Than being forced to leave – forever.

"When does the next plane leave?" asked the tall woman and reached for Hotaru. Tenderly she took the little girl on her lap and stroke over her right arm. Hotaru giggled and played with her teddy. Haruka could hear a relieved sigh at the other side of the handy.

"Arigato, Ruka. You're a real treasure!"

"Don't thank me. I guess, your daughter is missing you, too, Michiru." Haruka giggled softly and held the handy in front of the little girl's face. "Say hello to your mommy." She whispered and smiled loving as the baby looked confused at the black thing in front of her. Then she started to babble and to laugh as she reached for it. Haruka watched her in silence.

I missed you, too, Michi-chan.

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"Do you want a pillow?"

Haruka opened her eyes and looked at the friendly smiling stewardess.

"No." She smiled back and shook her head.

"She's cute." The slim woman watched Hotaru for some seconds. The little girl slept at the window seat in her child's seat. She had wrapped her tiny arms around an old teddy bear and babbled something in her dreams only she could understand.

"Hai." Haruka leaned over to the small child and corrected the small blanket with which she covered Hotaru. She shouldn't freeze during the fly to Nagasaki.

"You must be very proud. If you need anything, just call." With those words she walked quickly away. There was a lot to do before the start. A lot of passengers needed to be shown their places or simply to be calmed down.

"Hai..." Haruka took a deep breathe and leaned back. Tired she closed her eyes again and waited. It wasn't her first fly and so she wasn't very excited. To be honest she was very tired and yawned quite often.

Himme-chan cried the whole night.

Haruka felt like a truck ran over her when she had to get up early in the morning to the first plane which would take her to Nagasaki.

To my Michi-chan...

"That's unfair! Why the hell shall I sit in the second class and you in the first one?"

Haruka frowned as she heard the angry voice behind her. Couldn't the rest of the passengers be quiet? She wanted to sleep.

What shall Michiru think when she sees me so tired and exhausted? Hotaru isn't a devil.

Haruka couldn't help but smiled as she touched gently the tiny arms. The baby munched but kept sleeping.

Well, at least not such a great devil. Only a small one. A lovely one.

"Because the first class was sold out and we let the lot decide. And you lost, my dear brother." The other voice was lower and full of mockery.

"But still it's not fair! You cheated!"

"You have no evidence!"

"I don't need one. I can see it right in your face, you cheater!"

"Pah, take off those sun glasses. You can't see anything with those."

The voices came nearer. Haruka took a deep breathe and pressed her eyelids together.

"Guys, be nice!" There was a third voice. It was lower than the other two and more determined. "Yaten, you sit down and Sejya, you come with me."

There was a moment of silence and Haruka smiled automatically. She could almost see the tongues the two boys showed each other. Then the other two hurried away to the first class and her voices slowly vanished.

"Hate you!" growled the first voice again and Haruka felt how someone sat down at the third seat on the array which was beside her.

"Please take your seat and make your you wear your seat belt..." started a nice woman's voice to sing and Haruka was sure that one stewardess would start her typical security ballet within the next seconds. She yawned oppressed, then she opened her eyes and looked into a very pale face. It was surrounded by long silver hairs. Two light green eyes looked curious at Hotaru and a little bit frightened at her.

"Hi, I am Yaten." Said the young man and swallowed hard as the stewardess showed a lifeboat they should use if the plane was going to crash into the sea. Nervously he clenched his fists and opened them again.

"Nervous?" Haruka raised one eyebrow and smiled as he looked at her with a small boy's look. Then he leaned his head against the seat and tried not to look at the still dancing stewardess.

"Maybe." He shrugged his shoulders and took a magazine. Shortly he read it, then he groaned. "The movie they're going to show is called Fear over the clouds . Great!"

At that point Haruka had to giggle and Hotaru awoke and giggled, too.

"Hi, Yaten. I am Haruka." She introduced herself and felt how the plane moved. Then it stopped and she felt the power of the huge engines. How it grew stronger and stronger and the whole plane started to shiver. Then the brakes were free and the huge power escaped in a great speed. "And this is Hotaru." She saw how the young man took his sunglasses he was still holding in his hands again and hide behind them his big eyes. "We're going to Nagasaki to visit her mommy. And what are you going to do? To make holidays?" Haruka didn't know why she told him all this but she felt how he relaxed. How he forgot that the plane left the ground at just this moment and dove into the blue, endless sky. Still it was very hot outside and Haruka wore short blue jeans and a wide dark shirt. She had chosen for the little girl a white dress. So she wondered why the young man wore a suit.

Doesn't he sweat?

"Kind of." Declared Yaten and looked around nervously.

"The other two are your brother?" Haruka wasn't really interested. But she didn't like him seeing so afraid.  
Maybe I simply don't want to see him throwing his breakfast into my lap.

"Brothers? Bakas!" Yaten sighed and grabbed his armrests as the plane flew some metres downwards until the second period started. "Sometimes I ask myself how I ever could start this silly thing: Flying around, making concerts..." he sighed again and shook his head. "Well, I know why I do it but sometimes..." Another sigh.

"Hey, relax yourself. This plane won't crash in the sea and soon you'll be on god's nice earth again." Haruka couldn't oppress a yawn and looked out of the window. "Although our right wing's standing in fire."

"Nani?" Yaten unbelted his seatbelt and pushed Haruka aside. Then he leaned over Hotaru and watched out of the window.

"He, Yaten! What do you think you are? Do you want to kill me?" Haruka's dark green eyes shone angry as he laid half over her just to see enough to be sure that it was only a joke. That there was no smoke outside. Nor fire. Nor death.

"That's what you deserve!" he growled and climbed back in his eat. At that moment the plane arrived it's final fly height and at that moment Hotaru decided that she was hungry and started do scream.

Haruka burst out into laughter and blushed as some passengers looked angry at them.

"What's so funny?" demanded Yaten to know and took his sunglasses off.

"You should see your face!" The tall woman giggled and reached over to her best friend's daughter.

"Hungry, sweet princess?" Haruka still giggled while she helped the small girl out of her seat and onto her lap. Then she searched in her rucksack which was laying on the ground next to her feet for Hotaru's mash. She used a special dish and so it was still warm As she had prepared it when she got up a little bit earlier than she had to get to the airport in time.

That's a sacrifice you have to do when you have a child: To stand up earlier in the morning.

Haruka smiled loving at baby Hotaru who grabbed the spoon and swirled it around through the air. She almost beat Yaten who winced away. But now a thin smile laid on his very pale face, too.

I'd do anything for her. Even to sacrifice myself...

Haruka swallowed hard while Hotaru ate her first spoon with great appetite.

"She's cute. How old is she? What's her name?" After Yaten relaxed and recognized that there was no sign of crashing into the sea he asked excited and waited for the stewardess to bring him a cooled cola.

"Hotaru. She's now one year and over a month old. And she's very hungry!" Haruka smiled loving into greedy dark eyes and stroke over red cheeks.

"It's not her first fly, is it?"

"Probably." Haruka never asked Michiru if she ever took her daughter on such a long, wide tour.

I will stay with them for the rest of the three weeks.

Suddenly the tall young woman felt slight panic growing inside her stomach.

The whole world will see me with Hotaru, daughter of the famous Kaioh Michiru!

Haruka swallowed hard and her fingers suddenly trembled while she fed the little girl who munched happily.

The whole world will see that I am nothing more than a simple nursemaid.

Thoughtful she squeezed Hotaru harder and the baby protested in spitting on her jeans. Automatically she reached for a handkerchief and cleaned it.

Then I'll have to admit it to myself that I won't ever be more for them that a bloody nursemaid. No family member. No daddy.

Haruka sighed oppressed.

No lover.

She knew that Michiru loved another one. That she waited for her soul mate and that she would wait her whole life. There was no chance for her. Even if Michiru would accept her as a woman, she would still think of the one.

I have no chance against a ghost!

"You must be very proud of her." Yaten looked closer and blinked as the girl split him, too. Right into the face.

"Oh yeah, we are." Haruka grinned as she saw Yaten's shocked expression. "She learns very quickly, don't ya think?"

"Hai..." The young man rolled his eyes while he cleaned his sunglasses. But Hotaru's charm was too big and so soon he leaned forward again and watched her eat.

"Small child's are somehow beautiful. They don't hurt one. They simply love one without consequences." He whispered and suddenly he looked very sad.

"You have children? You look a little bit young."

"Oh, no, I have time." Yaten shook his head. "I am just seventeen and I am still looking for the true love. I know that sounds crazy..."

Haruka slightly shook her head and cleaned Hotaru's face. Then she let her make her burp and helped her into her child's seat again. The small girl yawned and soon settled into sleep.

No, it doesn't sound crazy. True love is fantastic.

Haruka's eyes got darker.

And sometimes very sad.

"I had a sister and she got a baby boy. My nephew was really, really cute." He sighed deeply and Haruka felt that it was more clever not to ask for more. "He had so tiny fingers, just like your daughter." Yaten turned around and grinned at the stewardess and took two cooled cola. One he handled Haruka who started to cough as she heard his words.

Your daughter .

I wish, she was it.

"Her mother must be beautiful." Yaten drank the half of his cola and looked again around for dinner. Haruka sighed but had to smile.

"Hai." She responded while she leaned back and closed her eyes. The image of a young woman formed in her mind. Of a young woman with long sea green hairs which moved in the wild wind. Waves of the wide sea played with her legs and she only wear a short summer's dress. Deep blue eyes sparkled and a happy smiled laid on a shinning face.

Blue eyes Haruka always believed to drown in.

"Hai, she is."

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"I got a phone call. We should take her best friend and her daughter with us to the hotel." Sejya looked over the rim of his sunglasses out to the wide hall. His long black hairs swirled through the air as he tried to escape he tickling hands of his younger brother.

"Yaten! You had your revenge. It's enough now!" he burst out into laughter and tried to escape. Soon both of them run though the hall and the oldest of them, Tahiki, just rolled his eyes.

"It's high time that we got to know her child. She's always talking about her and since last February she talks a lot about her new best friend."

"Guess, it's more than simple friendship!" shouted Sejya and appeared shortly behind his older brother. Then he screamed and ran away again from his younger one.

"I wish it for her. She always looks so lonely. As if she had nothing else than her music. Everyone needs a person in one's life." Tahiki sighed and looked at his handy again to read the mail he got after the phone call.

Tenô Haruka. Tall woman with short blonde hairs and a baby.

Tahiki sighed again.

Great, Kaioh-san! That's a really good description.

He looked up and saw hundreds of young women with short blonde hairs and some of them even carried a baby.

"And how shall we find her?" Yaten appeared at his side and forgot to tickle his brother while he looked over Tahiki's shoulder to read the text, too.

"Haruka?" he whispered and his eyes widened.

"Don't you tell me you know her!" Sejya's voice was teasing but he placed himself at his older brother's opposite side so that Yaten couldn't reach him with his fast hands.

"Her? I thought she's the daddy of that cute girl!" Yaten frowned and stepped on his tip toes to overlook all those busy people, passing by in a hurry. But still he was almost one head smaller than Tahiki.

"Daddy? Are you blind, Yaten, that you can't distinguish between a girl and a boy? Because there's a small difference. Maybe you don't know it, but I can explain it, if you want..." A devil grin appeared on Sejya's face as Yaten growled and tried to tickle him again. But this time the dark haired singer was faster.

"Yaten?" The voice made them all freeze. Three big pairs of eyes look startled at the blonde carrying a child's seat with a still sleeping girl. "You forgot your sunglasses." Haruka smiled and stretched her free hand.

Three pairs of eyes watched silently short blonde hairs, dark green eyes, a wide shirt that didn't let them see any female outlines and the short cut jeans covered with spots, probably child's mash.

"Yaten, I apologise. You aren't blind." Answered Sejya and earned one of Tahiki's warning looks he knew too well. But he ignored them – as always.

"Nani?" Haruka frowned as Yaten took his sunglasses – and her rucksack as well. Tahiki stepped closer and laughed as Hotaru grabbed his nose and babbled excited.

"Kaioh-san called us up that we should take you to the hospital, too, Tenô-san." Explained the oldest brother with a voice that sounded as if he had a bad cold – and a constipated nose.

"Nani?" Haruka looked more and more confused and stepped slightly backwards so that she could escape quickly with Hotaru if the three were attacking her.

"Don't worry, Haruka." Yaten spread his arms and pointed at his two brothers and himself. "May I invite? We are Tahiki, Sejya and Yaten. We're the Three Lights . And we're on tour with Kaioh-san."

Sejya stepped besides his brother and bowed over a still laughing Hotaru.

"And you two must be the little angel who's our music genius is talking about the whole day." The lead singer looked up at Haruka and frowned. "And you must be the... " Suddenly he grinned wolfish. "... the beauty she's thinking about the whole night."

Nani...?

Haruka only blushed deeply.

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"Honey!" Michiru took her daughter in her arms and swirled around with her. Hotaru laughed happily and grabbed for long sea green hairs.

She looks tired.

Haruka looked straight into deep blue eyes. The young violinist's face was pale but now her cheeks were slightly redden. A happy smile laid on her face and covered the dark edges under those marvellous eyes.

She did cry...

"I am so glad to see you again, my sweet, little princess!" Michiru danced through the huge hotel suite. It was separated in two huge rooms and a bath which was even light and marbled - just like the one Michiru had at home, just three times bigger. Haruka swallowed hard as she looked at the huge bed. White blankets behind white, almost transparent curtains. A glass door leaded outside to a big balcony.

"I missed you so much!" suddenly Michiru's voice was very silent, almost shaky. She stopped dancing and squeezed her daughter tight. The sun broke through the clouds which covered the sky over Nagasaki. But still it was a hot day of late summer. Dust danced in the golden shine which dove over the white blanket. It formed a sea of flames, waving softly. One ray was reflected in Michiru's deep blue eyes. Calm wind played with her open hairs and suddenly Haruka believed to hear the rushes of the wide sea - although the hotel was in the inner city and there was no chance of even seeing the ocean from the balcony. The tall woman swallowed hard two happy looks met her thoughtful one. Suddenly the seemed to dance in slow motion. Being fully in their own world - leaving her behind.

Now they'll getting wings...

Haruka blinked as she saw another person in front of her. She wore a long white dress and golden hairs almost touched the ground. Michiru and Hotaru didn't seem to notice her. They kept on dancing. Laughing. Living... The appearance smiled loving and two wings spreat behind her back. High they pointed up to the ceiling. To the endless sky above. Strong. Protecting.

An angel?

Haruka frowned still hearing Hotaru's excited shouting babbles after her mother.

No, they're my real angels.

The strange woman opened her arms and it seemed as if she wanted to take the dancing woman and the flying girl in her embrace. To protect them. To love them. To take them away from her.

No!

But Haruka wasn't able to move.

Don't take them away! I need them!

The appearance nodded understanding and wind filled the room at the next moment. Haruka felt it. It drove to her clothes, made her shiver. It grabbed at her short blonde hairs and let her eyes water. It burn on her skin and she wanted to scream out loud. The storm howled with her. It got stronger and stronger. More violent. Crashing down at her without any consideration.

Like it did that very day...

The shinning woman smiled and floated over to her. Her hands were small and soft as she touched her burning cheeks. Suddenly they were wet.

Am I crying?

Soft hands ran through her short hairs and suddenly she saw tears sparkling in light blue eyes she didn't know. But somehow she believed to remember them. Once they had cried, too. Desperate. Angry. For nothing.

Why?

Don't worry. You won't loose them. 'Cause they're your destiny. Haruka heard the high, tender voice in her head and the appearance cried even more. Her whole body shook and her wings hang.

You'll ever be a part of us... The woman sobbed quietly, then she turned and was gone. She took the storm with her.

"Arigato, Ruka!" The tall woman winced badly as she suddenly felt Hotaru in her arms, felt Michiru embracing her carefully but determined. "No I feel better." Declared the young violinist and giggled as Haruka groaned.

"You're squeezing your daughter - and me - to death!" But a smile laid on her redden face. There was no trace of tears and suddenly Haruka wondered if it all had been simply a day dream. An illusion of her simply tired mind.

It wouldn't be a wonder after Hotaru's crazy nights...

But somehow she couldn't get rid of the feeling that it had been real.

"Gomen." Michiru's voice wasn't very regretful. "Then I'll have to make up for you. And for Himme-chan." The young violinist giggled. Then she grabbed Haruka's sleeve and pulled her with her towards the door. Haruka sighed and followed her without defence. Because she didn't want to hurt Hotaru in her arms. Because she was too relieved to see her Michiru laughing again. She had been very concerned after she'd heard the younger woman's shaky voice on the phone.

Because I like it to be touched by her. Even if it's unintentional, only for a few seconds...

Michiru opened the door and crashed into Yaten. The young man stumbled back and bowed automatically and searched for his sunglasses he lost.

"Hi, Yaten." The smaller woman laughed. "Did you survive the fly?"

"Hai." The youngest singer of the Three Lights reached for his sunglasses and took them into his pocket. Then he grinned wildly. "Although she snores."

Michiru frowned but laughed again as she saw Haruka's angry look.

"And you almost threw up your breakfast, because you've been so scared of the start!"

"Hotaru-chan split me!"

"You complaint the whole time about the movie!"

"How could you hear? You slept!"

"I tried it. Until you wanted to look out of the window!"

"This is a free land!"

"But the place you tried to sit on was mine!"

"Why didn't you just change? Mine was free at that moment."

"Because it had been my seat. It was so comfortable and I simply tried to sleep!"

"Pah, sleeping! Hotaru-chan was bored, too."

"She has her teddy. She wasn't bored. You could have read a book!"

"A book? Are you..."

"At least you could behaved reading and leaving me in peace."

"Hey! Who was the one who..."

Michiru giggled and stepped between the two. Hotaru pulled at Haruka's short blonde hairs with her right hand and at Yaten's long silver ones with her left one.

"Guys! Stop it!" Michiru crossed her arms before her chest and looked warning into two redden faces. "You're behaving like babies."

"We aren't!" answered two insulted voices and Michiru giggled even more.

"Let's go." She grabbed Haruka's sleeve again and Yaten winced as Hotaru didn't let go of his hairs.

"Ouch!" Finally he was able to free himself but it cost him some strands. Suddenly he stood up straight and looked after the two heading towards the elevator. "And our rehearsals?"

"There'll be some shortly before the concert. You are good, aren't you?"

Yaten nodded.

"We are the best!" he shouted, but the three were already gone. The young frowned. But then his face brightened up as he remembered his oldest brother's words.

Everyone needs a person in one's life. 

Guess Tahiki is right.

dbdbdb

"Close your eyes!"

Haruka did as she was told and felt how Michiru grabbed her arm and guided her over a stony way. They left the hotel and walked for about twenty minutes when they reached Nagasaki's central park. The tall woman could hear the birds singing above in a cloudy sky. But there where enough wholes in the grey blanket so that Haruka could feel some rays of lights while she followed her Michiru, still holding a babbling Hotaru tight. The rushes of the leaves around her remembered her of the wide ocean. Wind played with her blonde hairs and she automatically smiled.

"Attention, here're three steps." Michiru's voice was really excited and Haruka was glad that she came with Hotaru. The young violinist looked now happy and satisfied. So different than she had sounded on the telephone.

Maybe I would be the same sad when I was far away - without them.

Haruka sighed slightly. The rushes increased and she asked herself if it was really only the noise of leaves being moved by wind. Then she felt some drops on the skin of her arms and frowned.

"You can open your eyes."

She did and blinked. There was a grinning Michiru standing in the middle of a huge fountain. Her shoes laid aside the stone on the earth and she had her skirt in her hands so that it wouldn't get wet. The water wasn't very deep, maybe one feet deep. But it was as clear as a crystal. By an old mechanic it was thrown high in the air and Michiru raised her head and laughed happily as some drops wetted her long hairs. Like diamonds they sparkled in her sea green curls.

"Isn't this a nice place? I discovered it the last night when I couldn't sleep after the concert." Michiru seemed to float through the water as she came nearer.

Haruka only nodded and blinked again. The fountain was on a glade surrounded by big, strong and certainly very old trees. Their crowns formed a roof over it and some light broke through the wand of green. Some bees flew around in the small rays of lights. They moved with the leaves touched by gentle wind. They danced over the shaky surface, over a happy smiling face. Over sparkling sea green hairs.

She looks like a elf.

Haruka smiled thoughtfully and Hotaru stretched her arms towards her mother.

I love her so much!

The tall woman stepped towards the fountain and Michiru took her babbling daughter into her arms. She lowered her head and said something to the small child. Hotaru laughed delighted and one tiny hand grabbed for sea green strands, hold them determined tight. A loving smile appeared on the young violinist's face while she rocked her daughter gently.

I wish she would watch me with such a look.

Haruka swallowed and automatically stepped back. The water shimmered golden in the setting sun's light. Michiru said something else and kissed Hotaru on her cheeks. The baby used the chance to grab her nose and laughed even louder.

I wish she would kiss me, too.

But Haruka knew that she would never. The young violinist called her up to bring her her daughter. She told her that she missed her, too.

All she missed was a good friend. Nothing more! See it, Haruka, you'll never be more to her than a bloody nursemaid for Himme-chan!

Haruka blinked again and knew that she could tell herself everything, but that she wasn't able to lie to her heart.

Michiru raised her head and frowned as she saw the other one's suddenly pale face.

"Is everything okay?" she asked concerned and stepped out of the water.

The mermaid left her territory.

Haruka frowned but she didn't know where that thought came from.

"Hai. Just a little tired from the fly." Slightly she sighed. "But it's a nice place you discovered, Michiru."

"Hai..." Michiru smiled and slipped into her shoes. Then she came over to the tall woman and gave her Hotaru back without actually letting the small baby go. So both of them hold her and Hotaru smiled happily. She used her best chance and grabbed sea green and blonde strands. The women didn't even mention. They looked each other deep into the eyes.

I wanna drown in them.

Haruka smiled, then she lowered her head and looked at Hotaru.

I wish you was the one.

Michiru sighed and let go of her daughter so that Hotaru laid now safe in secure in strong arms. In a loving embrace.

"I just wanted to share it with you." The young violinist raised her hand and ran it tenderly through short hairs. "When I found it yesterday I was determined to show it to you."

"Arigato..."

Haruka nodded smiling. But there was something in her dark green eyes Michiru couldn't define. But it made her sad. Very sad.

dbdbdb

She felt uncomfortable in the first array. It wasn't the white tuxedo she was wearing. The clothe was fine. It was not Hotaru sitting on her lap. The little girl was playing with her teddy bear and didn't look as if she wanted to start crying the next minutes. It were the curious looks of different people around her. Important, rich people who could afford to buy the expensive tickets to sit in the first array. Mostly it was reserved for the mayor, some people who gave big donations to the foundation for ill children and some popular persons.

But not for a normal nursemaid!

Haruka sighed deeply and closed her eyes. Once she had been very popular, too. As she won the World Championship three times after another she had been the most famous person the whole Formula One world. No she was no one at all. Just a shadow searching for someone she didn't even now.

Without Michiru would be homeless. A beggar.

Haruka hold Hotaru tighter.

Without them I would be all alone. Unloved. Unwanted. Unneeded.

"Who's that?"

"I don't know."

"But the small child is Kaioh-san's daughter."

"Maybe she has a lover?"

"Why not, she's eighteen and old enough."

"But I thought she would follow her parent's footsteps and take some popular musician. So that they both could go on tour together."

"There're many popular musicians and a lot of them tried to get her, but she didn't want anyone of them at all."

"Then that guy must be something special."

Haruka leaned deeper into her chair and tried to ignore the voices around her. Since that very day she didn't want to be in public anymore.

My father mustn't find me here!

She sighed again. Everything was better than being back in her second homeland. Where they terrorised her. Where they wanted to heal her. Where no one really understood her.

"Ladies and gentlemen..."

Haruka opened her eyes and saw an excited man standing on the stage of the huge concert hall. He held a micro in his hands and spoke to the audience that the concert would start within the next minutes.

"Hope you enjoy your mommy's concert, Himme-chan." Whispered Haruka as the red curtain was moved aside. Behind there was a huge stage. There were a few instruments: A black piano and two guitars where in the background. But the rest of the stage was empty. There were no drum computers, no big screens, no bonfires..

She doesn't need it.

The audience rose from their chairs and applauded loudly as Michiru stepped on the stage. She wore a long, narrow evening dress. It was a deep blue as her eyes. She was barefoot and wore her violin tight in her left hand. For some seconds she stood there and smiled in the audience. Waited patiently until they calmed down and sit down again. There were no micros anywhere but everyone could hear her clear voice as she talked to all those people outside.

"I am glad that you could come." Her look flew through the first array and rested at Haruka and Hotaru. Her smile grew wider. Then she put on her violin, closed her eyes and lost herself in her music.

Then she started to play.

Her music filled soon the whole hall. Filled the people's hearts with joy and luck. With despair and sadness. With hope and love.

It's amazing how she's able to express all those feeling by simply playing her instrument.

Haruka frowned as she watched her Michiru standing on that huge stage. Being all alone but also being with all those people outside. Being with her music. It was greater than her solitude. Than her endless search. Than her long waiting for the one who would never appear at all.

The melody became softer and suddenly tears shimmered behind her lashes. Haruka blinked.

Is she starting to cry?

Then the music increased and reached her heart, too. She closed her eyes and listened to it while Hotaru leaned herself against her chest and grabbed for some buttons of her white tuxedo's jacket.

As Haruka opened her eyes again she suddenly stood again at the fountain. Michiru danced laughing through the water and splashed her. Her blue eyes sparkled and there was a light that covered her. A deep blue light as if she stood in the middle of a huge ocean.

Again Haruka stood aside and felt very sad, very alone. The melody got sadder and sadder. But the smiling Michiru came over to her. Now she floated as if she swam though deep water.

This is my world, Ruka. she could hear her voice somewhere in her head. I wanna share it with you. Soft hands reached for her icy ones and she simply let the young violinist do. The melody got hopeful again. Now it was full of love and tenderness. Like the look of beautiful blue eyes. Haruka smiled back and felt how water crashed in waves over her. Suddenly she was able to float, too. In that wonderful world of music. She felt Michiru's hand, felt waves playing with her body. She could breathe but her look became blur. Rays of lights shone though the surface above and reflected crystal water that surrounded them in a loving embrace.

Don't worry, Ruka. You're safe here. The sea is nothing without the wind. 

The song ended and bought her rudely back into reality. She opened her eyes and met the look of watery blue ones. Michiru smiled sadly and Haruka blushed as she recognized that the young violinist only saw her. Not the audience, not the rich, important people. Again they whispered excited and Haruka crept deeper into her chair and hoped that the concert was soon over. That she could escape those silly people. That she could think over her own confused thoughts. That she could talk to Michiru.

Was this song only for me?

Michiru sighed deeply as the last note escaped her violin and slowly left her own world made by music. A tender smile laid on her face and her eyes burned.

It's the first time that I wasn't there all alone.

She opened her eyes and looked into surprised dark green ones.

I wish you was the one, Ruka.

But she wasn't and Michiru knew it too well.

At that moment the light changed and three young men appeared on the stage. With three roses in their hands. They stepped beside Michiru and waved at the now yelling audience. There were many teenagers out there who jumped on their seats and screamed at them. The men smiled and said nice words to their fans. Then they threw their roses and went to their instruments. Michiru walked away a bit and put her violin again on her shoulder. She knew Sejya. And she knew that he danced over the whole stage. He didn't want to hurt her but it happened more than once that they both crashed into each other. Michiru closed often her eyes while making music and Sejya danced wildly around while singing without taking care of anyone else. Tahiki knew it and took attention about his younger brother. Yaten only declared with a cheeky grin on his face that he had his piano to hide behind when his brother became worse.

Shortly they looked at each other and everyone nodded so that they were ready. The fans still yelled but they simply started their show. Coloured lights danced over the stage and Sejya jumped around.

He looks funny.

Michiru oppressed a giggle while her bow automatically touched her violin.

But he has a very good voice - like his brothers. And some of his songs are really touching.

She oppressed another giggle as she recognized that he started with a funny song about Friday 13th. Then she closed her eyes and concentrated again on her music.

It was a great concert with the Three Lights. They sung love songs, funny songs. Songs about the normal life and songs about the life being on tour through the whole Country, through the whole world. One song was very sad. It told the story of a man who searched everywhere for his woman but couldn't find her. Sejya stand in front of the stage in a small ray of light and sung it with all his passion. Yaten accompanied him with his piano and Tahiki sung the second vocal. Michiru who didn't accompany them with her violin, stood silent behind the stage and sighed deeply. The song was so sad that she felt the tears burning in her eyes.

"I am searching for you. All of my life. Where are you, my princess? Where can I find you? Where is the life I wish to share - with you? I..." Sejya's voice was very low and rough and Michiru felt that he was in sadness, too. As if he wrote those lines for a special person he was looking for. He lost a long time ago.

"I am searching for you..."

Hai, I am searching, too.

Michiru swallowed hard and leaned herself against the cold wall. She raised her free hand and wiped away the tears ignoring the confused looks of the manager of the whole show.

Where are you, Uranus?

But there was no answer. No sign. For over four years now. And Michiru knew that there would never be a sign. Sailor Uranus wasn't awake in this world and maybe the new Silver Millennium would only have three outer senshi.

Maybe the Queen doesn't need a senshi of the wind. But I need a soul mate. Someone I can share my life with. And Hotaru needs a daddy...

Michiru sobbed quietly and shook her head.

I can't wait my whole life for Uranus. I have a right to live, too. I have my own feelings and my own heart. Why should I live all alone? That isn't fair! Just because she isn't awake!

The song ended and Sejya talked to the excited yelling fans. Someone ran downstairs and Yaten's red face appeared in front of her.

"We wanna play "When I awoke in the morning" and we need..." he paused and looked shocked into her pale face. "Everything okay, Michiru?"

The young violinist nodded, wiped away some more tears and followed him up to the stage.

"Your song was simply so touching, Yaten." She whispered and cheered up. "Let's tell them what real music means!" She giggled but Yaten still frowned.

Then they were again on the stage and another funny song started. Sejya sung what all happened in the morning and Michiru accompanied him after he slipped on his wet flagstones, burned his toast and left the house in a hurry. Her fast melody over Yaten's and Tahiki's slow one should show that it rained the whole time while Sejya walked along the grey street and some more mistakes happened to him.

He sung it and made funny faces so that the audience laughed, too. The lead singer sung over a beautiful woman next to him in the subway and he wrapped his right arm around Michiru's waist and smiled shinning at her while he sung how he tried to talk to her and she simply went away. The young violinist smiled back, then she stepped back and he had to give her free. He waved sadly at her, but she winked and walked over to Yaten's black piano. The fans yelled even more as Sejya sighed deeply and missed the station he wanted to get out of the subway.

Michiru smiled over to Yaten who shook his head over some signs of the fans showing: Three Lights, we love you. Or: Sejya, I am still free. Or: Sejya, I am your princess!

I wish they were!

Michiru turned around and stepped over to Tahiki who played his guitar like a god. She glanced over to the audience and saw how Haruka stared at the stage. How she stared at Sejya. And her look wasn't very happy. Hotaru in her arms fell asleep and her teddy laid on the ground. But Haruka didn't mention it and the girl misused her right hand as her personal teddy bear.

Is she jealous?

Michiru frowned but then the song was over and everything ended in a sing song of the fans. They wanted to hear a special song and Sejya and Tahiki sung it for and with them.

Why should she be jealous?

But the young violinist knew the answer without asking the question aloud.

So the show went on and after another hour it was over. Michiru was allowed to give another of her songs only with her violin to end the concert and she already decided what she wanted to play. She looked over to Yaten and nodded as he raised his eyebrow. The young man took a sheet of paper on the empty space of the piano and stood up. He gave his brothers and the bodyguards a sign, then he jumped from the stage. An excited sigh went through the arrays as he went straight to someone in the first array. Even the fans stopped to yell and looked very curious about what would happen next.

"Michiru wants to play the next song with you." Yaten stopped in front of Haruka and determined light green eyes looked into startled dark green ones. "It would be an honour for her. And after all, I wanna hear you, too." The young man blinked at her and grinned.

"But..." Haruka swallowed hard and panic grew inside her body. She didn't want to get so many attention. But at the same time she knew that there was no way to escape.

"Don't worry about Hotaru-chan. I'll keep an eye on her." He bowed and took the still sleeping baby in his arms and the teddy bear under his shoulders. "And now go!"

Haruka nodded and came hard to her feet. Again there was excited whisper but she didn't hear it. She went over to the stage, raised her head- and looked directly into shinning deep blue eyes. Eyes she loved so much. Eyes she knew she could trust. She didn't see the flashes crossing the air as she walked over the huge stage. She didn't see the cameras pointing at her. She didn't see the fans jumping and yelling again. All she saw was a young woman with sea green hairs and a blue evening dress. Soft hands hold a violin tight. A bright smile laid on her beautiful face.

"That wasn't fair." Whispered Haruka as she stood in front of her. Again more flashes. Michiru's smile grew wider.

"I know." Was all she said. Then she took her violin again on her shoulder and watched how Haruka sat down behind the piano. Shortly she looked at the sheet and put it away.

"Do you remember the song I played when your parents visited you?" she asked and her fingers carefully touched the keyboard.

"Hai."

Haruka swallowed hard. Then she closed her eyes and started to play. The music simply escaped her fingers. Her mind. Her memories. Her soul.

She saw again the wide ocean before her eyes. The green meadows. The leaves moved by gentle wind. There was again the house her mother lived in. Together with her. Before she got to know her future husband - Haruka's future father. While she was a famous piano player.

This is your homeland, Haru-chan. 

Again she heard the soft voice an her head. A voice she didn't hear for so many years. Haruka swallowed and entered the house. But there was no mother. There weren't even any furniture left. All she find was solitude and loneliness. Her mother had left her a long time ago and she would never ever see her again.

This is where you belong. 

Suddenly she heard another voice, a higher but as same tender as her mother's voice behind her. The melody got loving and a violin accompanied her piano play. Haruka turned around and saw a young woman standing at the door frame. Her long sea green hairs moved in the slight wind and she remembered her of a wild mermaid who rose from the sea just some seconds ago. To come to her. To hold her tight. To show her that there was still someone out there who wanted her. Who needed her.

Without mentioning it the melody got more hopefully. The sad, the dark theme was gone and all that remained were deep feelings. Suddenly Haruka felt two arms wrapped around her waist but she didn't wince away. She knew that those arms would never hurt her. That those hands stroking through her short hairs would never beat her. That this small body being pressed against her back would never let her freeze.

Please, don't ever leave me alone again! 

Haruka sighed oppressed as the song slowly ended. Finally her fingers rested on the keyboard while Michiru's bow danced for a last tone over the strings. The song died away and the fans started to applaud and to yell. The people rose from their chairs and more flashes crossed the air.

But neither Haruka nor Michiru mentioned them as they both opened their eyes and looked at each other. Michiru smiled and Haruka couldn't help but blushed slightly. Then she returned the smile and stood up. Still there was a sweet melody filling their minds. In their world of music only they knew. Only they could hear. Like a whisper three words flew over the melody.

I love you.

dbdbdb

"Hope Himme-chan's fine." Michiru stared at her drink and the dark fluid crashed against the rim of her glass. They were in another great hall now and the mayor said some words. After the beneficial concert they all went into the hall to have a late dinner. To talk to another and to say something about the children's fond. The Three Lights were surrounded by several fans and had to give autographs. Sejya grinned at every fan and seemed to enjoy it. Tahiki talked a lot. Only Yaten looked nervously around. It seemed as if he preferred to be alone or at least to be with some people he knew better than a superficial fan. But there was no chance to escape and he knew it.

"She's sleeping, believe me. She was clean and full when we brought her to bed. And it's late in the evening. Normally she sleeps at this time like an angel." Haruka ate another sandwich although she wasn't really hungry. But it simply tasted so good and she told herself to use the chance. The next time she would ate lunch or dinner it would be her own meal again and she simply couldn't cook as good as the cooks around here.

"Shall I look after her?"

"No, arigato, Ruka. You're right, Hotaru doesn't even know that we're not around. And a service maid will see after her each hour." Michiru watched Haruka eating and took the rest of the sandwich out of her hand before it reached the taller woman's mouth.

"Hey!" Haruka exclaimed but had to grin as Michiru ate it and showed her her tongue. Then they walked over to the big buffet again. "There's plenty of food here, why do you have to steal mine?"

"'Cause it tastes better. " Michiru giggled as her best friend frowned. The young violinist rolled her eyes as the mayor told them again how important his city was for Japan. Then her face cheered up. "Arigato, Ruka, for coming with me to this so called event. Normally I try to escape but while I am on tour it's hard to go with the excuse that there's a small child waiting at home. Here there's mostly only a empty, cold hotel room." Michiru sighed while she took an apple in her hands and cleaned him thoughtfully. "These events are always so boring. You have to talk to people you don't know and you don't like. People who came to my concerts just to see other people and being seen. To show their new dresses and their new hairstyle. They don't really listen to my music and some of them even fell asleep while I played!" Michiru sighed again but then she had to smile. "But not all people are so ignorant. There're many people who really understand it. As they understand the Three Light's songs. It's nice to play with them. They're good people." Slowly they walked through the room towards the door. Still all reporters hang around the famous boy group but Michiru knew that it was only a matter of time till she would be the mass media's victim again.

I hate their cameras!

"Let's get out of here." She said, drank her drink and put the glass on the window frame. Then she grabbed Haruka's free hand and the tall blonde almost lost her cheese sandwich as the young violinist pulled her away with her. Fast they hurried downstairs until the stood again at the entrance of the park they had been just a few hours ago. Before the concert started. The windows of the huge hall were all open at a warm summer's night and so they could hear how a small orchestra started to play sweet classic music.

"Are we on a flight?" frowned Haruka and coughed as she almost suffocated on her sandwich.

"You're greedy!" giggled Michiru and saw the taller woman's angry face. She had to giggle even more.

"I am not greedy. I've been simply hungry!" protested Haruka and coughed again.

"I see. You're so fed up with your own meals so that you eat until you explode. As long as it tastes better than your salad or your noodles."

"Well..." Haruka blushed. "Hotaru didn't starve during the past six months!" defended Haruka herself while they walked slowly along a stony way. Some street lamps showed them the way through an avenue. The leaves of the trees rushed calming and both of them relaxed.

Hai, Hotaru grew and got stronger during the past months. She's a happy baby and she loves it to be with me – and Ruka...

"Gomen to push you around so badly..."

"Oh, don't worry. I am used to it."

"Baka!"

"Please, stop killing me with your look!"

Michiru giggled as they teased around themselves.

"... but I simply don't like reporters asking stupid questions." The young violinist squeezed Haruka's hand gently. "I prefer being with the persons I know and like. And not with rich ladies who are talking about their small doggy while I try to help ill children."

Haruka nodded and Michiru asked herself if the taller woman blushed. But she couldn't see it because the light was too low.

"The last concert a really fat man in the first array fell asleep and I was very, very angry. Afterwards I found out that he donated a lot of money to the foundation and I decided to keep silent. But no one has to listen to my music if he or she doesn't want to." Suddenly Michiru started to giggle and couldn't stop. "He looked like a pancake. I asked myself why he didn't destroy the chair he was sitting in and all he was interested afterwards was the buffet." Now tears shimmered in her deep blue eyes while she giggled more and more. "Guess I had too much alcohol. But the lemonade mixed with whiskey was simply too good." She took a deep breathe to calm down her excited nerves but still she had to giggle.

"Oh, don't worry. I'll guide you back to your hotel room. But don't expect me to have sympathy for you tomorrow when you'll have a big hangover!" Haruka swallowed hard and looked at the laughing beauty next to her. Still holding her hand tight. The small touch gave her thrills over her skin and she wished that this walk would never end.

She's so wonderful.

Wind played with long see green hairs and deep blue eyes sparkled happily.

I love her so much!

Haruka sighed oppressed. She knew that she had no chance. That she was only the young violinist's nursemaid. That she was a woman. And even if Michiru loved women...

I am not the one!

"I know. Once you only wanted to take care for Hotaru and now you have two babies to take care for." Giggled Michiru and waved her free hand to the sky. She smiled as she saw some planets shinning next to the full moon.

Jupiter, Saturn. Venus.

"Now you have two babies..."

Uranus!

You don't know how much I'd like to take care for you, too.

"Oh, you know me, my services for Himme-chan includes that her mother should be happy." Answered Haruka but her voice was strangely quiet.

Be happy.

Michiru stroke a sea green strand behind her ear.

Am I really happy?

She looked over to Haruka who smiled unsure at her. Slowly they entered the glade they had visited this afternoon. Just some hours ago.

Am I really happy?

"Dance with me!" said Michiru suddenly and took Haruka's free hand in her left one and hold it tight. She pulled her over near the fountain. The water was still falling down on a shivering surface. Bright moonlight shone through the leave's roof and some glow worms danced around in the darkness.

"Nani?" Haruka looked surprised and shook her head. But Michiru already started to move in the rhythm of the music that still filled the air. Now quiet, almost not hearable. But they weren't so far away from the concert hall and all the windows were open. The music was carried away by the slight wind and surrounded them.

The tall woman looked for some seconds searching into deep blue eyes. But all she found was friendship and trust. So she relaxed and automatically took the leading position.

Am I really happy?

Michiru raised her head and saw a blushed, smiling face. Unsure shimmering dark green eyes. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the strong shoulder. She felt how Haruka wrapped her left arm around her waist and pulled her softly nearer. Her right hand still held her one while they rocked slowly, very slowly over the stony ground. The young violinist smiled as she felt the warm body next to her own one. She heard the rushes of the leaves and the water falling from the fountain. Some birds screamed in the darkness.

I wish this dream would never end.

Michiru sighed slightly.

Am I happy?

She let go of Haruka's hand and embraced her tightly. Then she opened her eyes and looked up into a blushed face. There was something in Haruka's look she couldn't define until now. She had seen it for some times. When she laid in bed and had high fever. There had been that look, too, under a deep cover of concern. When she rocked her daughter and Haruka watched them in silence.

When we had been here just some hours ago and she stood aside and observed me dancing with my Himme-chan in the water.

Michiru squeezed Haruka harder and none of them dared to speak.

Am I happy? With her?

The young violinist stepped on her tip toes and their noses almost touched. She could feel Haruka's warm breathe in her face, could smell the perfume the taller woman used. Michiru smiled a shy smile. She already knew the answer of the questions haunting her down every night she laid awoke in her big, empty, cold bed.

Both of them closed their eyes as their lips met.

Michiru felt how Haruka tightened her embracement, pressed her harder against her warm body. Soft hands ran tenderly through her long hairs and soon the sweet kiss became more passionate.

I love her so much!

Haruka didn't think much about what happened. She hold the one and only she loved in her arms. She kissed her with all her deep feelings and knew that she would never be able to let her go again.

I wanna be part of your family, Michi-chan. I wanna be a daddy for your Himme-chan. And I wanna be your lover. Your partner. You soul mate. Your one...

Slowly the kiss ended and they looked each other deep into the eyes. Haruka breathed hard and Michiru could feel her excited heart beat.

She's as scared as me. But at the same time as curious.

"Remember, I am a girl." Whispered the tall woman and her voice sounded strange in her own ears: So low. So shaky. So full of love.

Michiru smiled and it was the most beautiful smile Haruka had ever seen.

"I know..." answered the young violinist and her voice wasn't any better than the other young woman's one. Then she raised her arms and wrapped them around Haruka's neck. Again their lips met in a passionate kiss. Two pairs of eyes were closed as they enjoyed each other's presence.

It feels so good.

It feels so strangely familiar.

This kiss lasted longer than the last one. It lasted almost the whole night.

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Very carefully the door was opened. Two heads appeared in the frame and looked over to the small child's bed standing next to a huge window. The full moon shone through the glass down on a small girl's face. Sleeping the innocent sleep of a baby. Dreaming about her teddy or her mother. Or her favourite mash.

"She looks like an angel." Whispered Haruka and felt how Michiru embraced her from behind and looked over her shoulder.

"Hai." The young violinist giggled and nodded. "Even the greatest devils look like innocent angels when they sleep."

Haruka grinned. Then she closed the door carefully again. She didn't want to wake Hotaru up. The little girl got her first tooth and the tall woman was glad when she didn't have so many pain that she could sleep. It wasn't only unhealthy for the parents to get not enough sleep, but also it could be dangerous for a small girl. And Haruka loved Hotaru with all her heart. She didn't want to harm her with her silly behaviour.

I hurt too many people in my life with my ignorant behaviour...

The sad thought disappeared as she turned around and was softly pushed against the door. Michiru kissed her again and giggled a lot. She stroke through her blonde hairs and Haruka enjoyed that feeling. Her hands reached for Michiru's back and crept under the velvet night dress. Tenderly she stroke over the soft skin and felt how Michiru shivered.

Soon the kiss became more passionate and slowly Michiru unbuttoned Haruka's white jacket. It landed somewhere on the carpet and soon her shirt followed.

"See, you're still wearing your sport's bras." Giggled the young violinist and Haruka winced as she felt those soft hands caressing over her intensive skin. She blushed deeply as the bra landed on the other clothes.

"Michi-chan..."

Michiru grinned wolfish as she interrupted the stammer with a short but determined kiss.

"Don't talk." Whispered the young violinist and slowly kissed each inch of Haruka's neck. The young woman groaned oppressed and shivered even more. She leaned her head against the door and closed her eyes.

"Are you really sure?" asked Haruka and searched for the zipper of the long blue evening dress.

Damn, it feels so good!

Michiru nodded against her neck.

"Hai." It was not more than a mumble, but Haruka understood her. "I am, Ruka..." The young violinist bit in Haruka's ear and giggled as the other woman tried to escape. But at the same time Michiru knew that she would never.

"Ouch, my little vampire..." The low voice was teasing and finally the zipper was open and the dress laid on the ground, too. Now Michiru only wear her underwear. She leaned closer to Haruka and they both gasped for breathe as they felt the naked skin of the other one of their own one.

It feels so right!

It feels so familiar!

Haruka pulled her Michiru closer and buried her burning face in sea green curls. Soft hands ran through her short blonde ones and she felt how the young violinist kissed her neck, her chest, her breasts. She couldn't oppress a groan and suddenly she heard the rushes of the wide sea. A sea so deep as blue eyes she wanted to drown in. So she did.

"I love you..."

She wasn't even aware that she said it aloud. It was a silent whisper which sounded tenderly, full of all her deep feelings. Which showed her Michiru her soul. Which opened her heart and made her vulnerable for all what would follow. No one but the young violinist got ever so close to her mind, to her thoughts. To her real I.

I love you.

Suddenly Michiru froze in her arms. She raised her head and looked deeply into dark green eyes which stared dreamy back at her.

I love you.

She heard the tender words again and again in her mind, felt the soft hands caressing her back. Again she shivered. But now not because of her lust - but of the cold which suddenly seemed to fill the room.

"I..." Michiru shook her head and was suddenly very pale. Her blue eyes stared shocked up at Haruka's face and she took a deep breathe. "I love... love... but..." she stammered and started even more to shiver.

Haruka swallowed hard as she saw the terrified expression on the smaller one's face. It looked as if the young violinist just awoke from a nice dream and saw that reality wasn't nearly as nice.

I told her that I love her.

Haruka swallowed again and felt how Michiru stepped back – away from her. Probably forever.

But she doesn't want me.

The recognization hurt more than every beat she experienced during the past years. Than every scream, than every shout that was determined for her.

Maybe she didn't even think of me while kissing me...

Haruka took a deep, shaky breathe and suddenly her eyes burned. Her soul hurt and she wanted to run away. As fast as she used to do. But she knew that she couldn't escape her problems this way any longer. For only some hours she had have everything she ever wanted: A family, security, love. Within a few second she lost it all again.

I was nothing than a substitute for her.

"I see. I am not the one." Whispered Haruka and reached for her clothes and held them before her shaking body. "Gomen nasai. It will never happen again."

Maybe I'll have to go now. To leave her – and to leave Himme-chan as well.

Haruka oppressed a sob. Hai, she needed love. Her body had loved the soft touches she missed for so many years now. Since her mother died no one had ever took her into her arms and simply held her tight. But more than this love she needed Hotaru. And now she would probably be forced to go.

Where to?

She didn't find an answer as she looked into still shocked deep blue eyes. Michiru automatically raised her arms and crossed them before her chest. She shivered like a leave falling in the autumn's rain.

Why can't she be the one?

Michiru watched how Haruka opened the door quietly again and walked slowly over to Hotaru. Tears Michiru had never seen before, sparkled in dark green eyes but she knew that the tall woman would never let them allow to fall. Not in her presence. She hurt her too much. She didn't want to give her the final victory, the final humiliation.

I didn't want to hurt her!

Michiru still felt the warm body beside her, the soft hands caressing her back. The tender lips kissing her own ones. The young violinist wanted to go after her but she wasn't simply able to move anymore. Motionless she stood there until the door was quietly closed.

Ruka, I don't wanna hurt you!

She sobbed and slowly went into her knees. She covered her burning face with her icy hands and felt hot tears running over her frozen fingers.

And I don't wanna hurt me, too, any longer!

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It was already dawn but she couldn't sleep. She knew that there would be a lot of interviews and another concert in the evening but she didn't find any sleep the whole night. She laid on her huge, empty bed and froze like hell. It was alike how many blankets she used, her body still shivered and her feet and hands were icy.

A baby's scream interrupted the peaceful new morning. It stopped quickly and Michiru heard a low voice talking softly to her daughter. She sat upright in her bed. But still she was unable to open the door again, to step in and to talk to Haruka.

Will I ever be able to look in her eyes again?

Michiru laid back on her pillow and turned around to look outside the window to watch the rising sun.

Uranus, where are you?

But she knew that it wasn't the strong senshi any longer who was in her heart. Who got all her love. Who was there every second of her life – to protect her, to care for her, to love her the way she was.

"Hush, princess." Haruka rocked the baby gently in her arms and swallowed hard as Hotaru grabbed for her hairs ad laughed happily. The young woman raised her head and looked at the closed door.

Will she send me away?

Automatically she squeezed the little girl in her arms tighter and oppressed a yawn. After long hours she finally feel asleep but all she found there were terrible nightmares haunting her down.

Haruka looked again into hungry dark eyes and knew that Hotaru needed to get fresh nappies, to get her mash and to get out to the cool air.

She loves it to look at the birds flying through the wide sky.

The tall woman shook her head in sadness as she rose and walked over to the bathroom.

And I love her so very much!

But at the same time she knew that she was only Hotaru's nursemaid. Being doomed to leave the little girl before she grew up. Before she got married and had her own children.

Before she's able to understand what daddy really means...

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She opened her eyes as the song finished. Her deep blue eyes searched in the audience but she couldn't find the two figures sitting there. As they had yesterday.

Of course she's not here. After all what happened yesterday.

Michiru couldn't imagine that it was only some hours ago that she hurt Haruka more than the she would ever be able to forgive.

The young violinist swallowed hard as she bowed before the audience and the Three Lights appeared next to her to thank their fans again for seeing one of their concerts – together with the famous violinist Kaioh Michiru.

Michiru didn't listen to Sejya's teasing voice. Nor did she understand his words. There was no audience sitting in front of her. All she saw was a very pale Haruka who came unsure over to her room at noon and said that she wanted to go to the city with Himme-chan and if she needed anything. They didn't talk about what happened the last night. But at the end of the dry conversation when Haruka went over to Hotaru's room she turned around and asked quietly, almost scared if she would be forced to leave. Michiru had looked into dark green eyes and all she could see was fear. Real fear. Silently she had answered that Haruka was still her nursemaid. That she could stay – if she still wanted to. And that they both should better forget what had happened.

But at the same time they both knew that this was impossible.

She loves me!

Michiru swallowed hard as she bowed again to the audience. She felt how Sejya grabbed her right arm holding the bow and teased her around. The people laughed but she didn't hear them.

I love you.

Those three words filled her whole world. Words she waited for over four years now. But the wrong person told them to her. Another one than Uranus. Her soul mate. The one who didn't awake. Who wasn't with her.

But Ruka is with me. She really cares for me!

Michiru oppressed a sob and slowly the curtain fell down.

And I care a lot for her...

Suddenly tears ran over her pale cheeks and she went on her knees. The expensive violin hit the ground at the same time the curtain did. She pressed her hands before her burning face and started desperately to cry.

"Michiru?" Yaten was by her side the next moment. He kneeled down next to her and took her into his arms. Asking he looked up at his brothers who were as shocked as he. The whole concert had been strange. Hai, Michiru had again played like a goddess. But her motions had been mechanically. She played the notes in her head without any emotions. Without any feelings. And more than once she looked down at an empty seat in the first array. Some of the fans yelled for the unknown piano player as Michiru played her last song. She didn't answer her audience. She only stood there and played. As she accompanied the Three Lights. Just one song she seemed to awake a little bit out of her trance. It was the sad song Sejya normally sung in a little ray of light, only accompanied by the piano. She simply stepped behind Yaten and played. With all her heart. With all her soul. Her play was so touching that Sejya almost thought that she knew why they did the whole Three Light thing. That she was, too, searching for the most important person in her life. For her personal princess. For her soul mate...

After the song ended there were several silent sobs heard in the audience and the Three Lights had been relieved that the next song was a funny one. Otherwise they wouldn't have been able to finish the concert.

"Michiru?" Again there was only sobbing which answered him. Yaten sighed deeply and watched how Sejya took the expensive violin.

"I'll give some interviews to the reporters so that you have enough time to escape in peace." Said Tahiki and bowed over to the desperate crying violinist. "Don't worry, Michiru, everything will be fine." Then he was gone and they could hear some fans shouting and flashes crossed the air outside.

"He's right." Answered Sejya who seldom agreed with his older brother. Yaten only squeezed the shaking body in his arms tighter.

"Let's bring you home, Michiru." He remembered too well how lucky the young violinist had been just 24 hours ago. When she finished another concert – together with a young woman who seemed to be in all her thoughts. In her dreams. In her hopes for the future.

"There's no home." Sobbed Michiru but rose as he helped her up.

"Your home is wherever your family is." Answered Sejya with a serious expression on his face and looked over to his brother who frowned concerned.

"I don't have any family!"

"But you have Haruka and your daughter." Said Yaten silently as they walked over to the exit. Michiru shook her head and choked.

"Himme-chan isn't really my daughter. I adopted her. And Ruka... she'll leave me after what I've done ..." Michiru stumbled and almost fell down the staircase. But Yaten and Sejya hold her back.

"Hotaru-chan will always be your daughter. Love's stronger than blood." Declared Yaten determined and dialled a number on his telephone to get a taxi to the hotel.

"And Haruka will never leave you. She's crazy about you, don't ya know, Michiru?" Sejya teased her and sighed as her water fall of tears even increased.

Hope you were right.

But she's not my destiny. She's no senshi.

Michiru sobbed harder and she couldn't see anything through her tears.

She's not Uranus.

Nevertheless I love her...

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"It got later than I planned." Haruka sneaked into the child's room. Hotaru looked at her with her big dark eyes. A cap with big mouse ear's covered her tiny head and she hold in her right hand the string of a balloon. It floated over their heads.

"But you are full, happy and you finally could see Mickey Mouse." The young woman laughed. But it was a quiet, sad noise. She walked the whole evening through the park and there was a big festival for the inner city of Nagasaki. There were many people having a party. And many children waiting for Mickey Mouse to come and give them balloons and sweets. Haruka sat down and drank a cola. She wasn't hungry the whole day and felt really ill. But Hotaru in her arms laughed as the big mouse came over to her and teased her a little bit. That cheered her up. And as she saw the cap she simply couldn't let it there.

She looks so cute!

Haruka went over to the bathroom and let the door open. Surely Michiru was still on her party at the huge hall and talking to people she didn't want to talk at all.

Hope the Three Lights are there to share her destiny.

With now skilled hands she helped Hotaru out of her clothes, washed her in the tube in warm water and told her a fairy tale. It was Beauty and the Beast she watched when she moved with her mother to her new father's homeland.

"Once upon a time, in a far away land, a young prince lived in a shinning castle..." she started and Hotaru laughed happily. Then she raised her tiny hands and tried to splash the young woman. Haruka took the towel and carefully dried the little girl.

"You don't have a chance, my sweet Himme-chan. Where did I stop. Oh... the prince was spoiled and unkind. But then, one winter's night..." She talked the whole time while she helped Hotaru in fresh nappies and in her blue pyjama. Tenderly she stroke over round cheeks and the little girl yawned openly. Haruka took her into her arms and walked over to the child's bed and laid her down.

"... or he would be doomed to remain a beast for all times..."

Haruka sighed deeply.

And I am doomed to remain a nursemaid for the rest of my life. Nothing more...

She gave Hotaru her teddy and kept talking while she stripped her blue jeans and her dark shirt. She threw them in the corner and searched for her own pyjama. Naked she walked through the room and found it somewhere behind the bed she should use but didn't want to.

I had been very angry this morning.

She sighed deeply, then she chanced her voice while she talked as Bell to her father and as the crazy inventor to his daughter. Finally she dressed her freezing body in the dark clothes and sat down on the blankets next to the child's bed.

"Hope you can forgive me, that I don't sing, now. But Disney does it better and I don't wanna ruin your childhood. So we simply forget the song and come to Bell's father choosing a short cut and misses the right way. His horse is, as all intelligent animals are, very scared and wants to return. But he forces it to go straight. Until he comes to a castle. Wolves are haunting him and he reaches the tall building at the last moment. The door opened as if it's moved by the hand's of a ghost and it closes at the last moment when he..."

Hotaru laughed happily and stretched her tiny arms towards the young woman. Haruka leaned over the bed and her head rested on her arms she had laid on the rim. Loving she looked down at the baby.

"Daddy!"

The happy scream interrupted the story suddenly.

"Haruka." Whispered the tall woman and suddenly tears sparkled in her dark green eyes.

"Daddy!"

"Haruka."

"Daddy!"

"Haruka..."

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Hotaru laughed happily and still stretched her arms towards her.

"I am not your daddy, Himme-chan..." it was nothing more but a whisper as Haruka reached for the baby and took her into her strong arms. "But, believe me, princess, I wish I was it." The young woman lowered her head and started silently to sob. Her whole body trembled and tears ran down her cheeks. Hotaru stopped laughing and touched with a very serious expression on her tiny face the wet cheeks. "I don't wanna leave you, princess. Not you nor your mother." She squeezed the girl in her arms and smiled a shaky smile as she bowed forward and kissed her carefully. "I love you two. But I am only the nursemaid. We aren't in a cheap novel, princess. Here nursemaids don't get the millionaires. Even if they really love them." She swallowed hard and more tears ran down her cheeks. She didn't cry for a very long time. The last time was at the night after mother's funeral.

Suddenly the old panic was inside her body. That she wasn't needed in this world. That she wasn't loved. That it would be better for her being dead. Then the scream would silenced in her head. The fears would stop and the pain would finally leave her body, her mind, her nightmares.

No, I'll never do such a silly thing again.

She swore it the day she left the institution for good. When she left her homeland and returned to the one her mother grew up. Where she had spent her childhood. Where her roots were and the person she wanted to apologise to.

Guess I'll never find her.

But she found other persons. Persons who gave her life a new direction. A new meaning. A new goal.

The baby in her arms still looked confused. Then Hotaru yawned and closed her dark eyes. Soon she relaxed in the warm, strong embracement and fell in a sleep full of wonderful child's dreams.

Haruka simply sat there and sobbed quietly. Her look was blurred as she watched through her tears down to the sleeping girl. After some other minutes she calmed herself down a little bit. She took Hotaru into her bed and covered her careful with the soft blanket. Then she wiped away her tears and took a deep breathe.

Still I am here.

She bowed over the girl and gave her a tender kiss on the forehead.

"Night, princess. Have sweet dreams and don't worry, I'll always be with you. Even when you won't see me around when you'll grow up..." Haruka swallowed again and turned quickly away. She didn't want to look at the girl. Nor did she want to look at the closed door. A door which had been opened for her for a few hours. And then closed again forever.

Love town, no place to settle down Again she heard the song in her mind as she curled herself down in a ball on the blanket. She closed her eyes but couldn't find any sleep. Nor did she stop freezing.

Hell, I am so cold!

Suddenly she asked herself if she would ever be warm again. If she would ever be able again to eat a proper meal. If she would ever be able to sleep again.

What have I done?

Michiru still sat on the couch near the bathroom's door. After the concert Sejya and Yaten brought her back to the hotel room. She sat down and waited for Haruka. She wanted to talk to her. To make sure that her behaviour yesterday hadn't been just an accident. She hadn't been that drunk at all. And she hadn't been so desperate and alone that she would misuse anyone. That she simply let her heart speak until she heard those words. That she simply had been scared after those words and her mind had been stronger than her heart.

That I love her, too.

But when the door had been finally opened she couldn't move. She simply sat there and watched Haruka washing small Hotaru. Telling her a fairy tale and laying her into the bed. She observed how the tall woman changed her clothes and she saw how her body trembled. Helpless she had to see how Hotaru called the young woman daddy and how Haruka – the rock in the surf – started desperately to cry.

I hurt her so much. Will she forgive me?

Michiru swallowed and left her place in the shadows. All lights were switched off but one lamp still burning in the darkness. Showing Hotaru that she wasn't alone when she would awake in the middle of the night.

I simply can't live this life anymore. Not this crazy way. I am the senshi of the wide ocean and I am prepared to sacrifice my life for my Queen. But I am not prepared to sacrifice my soul for a ghost.

Slowly Michiru laid down next to the still quietly sobbing person and wrapped her arms around the trembling body. Haruka winced wildly and tried to jump up. But Michiru hold her tight with all her desperate powers and leaned her head against the strong shoulder.

"Gomen, Ruka..." she whispered and took a deep breathe. "I didn't want to hurt you and I didn't want to push you away so rudely." Michiru hold her tighter and heard another oppressed sob. Suddenly her own eyes were watery, too. "I was so blind waiting for the one that I didn't realize that I don't need her, but that I need you. I do not only want to share my bed or this night with you. I wanna share my whole life with you... If you still want me after all what happened..." Again she started desperately to cry. As she did just a few hours ago after the curtain fell down. "I love you, too..."

Haruka heard the shaky voice and turned slowly around. She saw tears burning in deep blue eyes, running over a beautiful face.

"And the one?" she asked quietly and took that face in her shaking hands.

"She's only an illusion. She had never been and she'll never be more than a dream. Than a fiction of my fantasy. She never existed and she isn't the one I love. I don't wanna be alone for the rest of my life. She will never come and the longer I think about it I know that I never loved that ghost. I simply was abandoned and sometimes stressed with a crying Himme-chan, with concerts and with..." she sobbed again and gasped hard for breathe. "I simply wished myself a person being there to care for me – but there was no one so I thought about the one and with every damned day she got more and more real until I believed in her as a living human."

There had been a Uranus in the Silver Millennium. But who knows if she was only a mistake in that time? That she wasn't supposed to be reborn?

Hard she squeezed the warm body in front of her.

But Ruka is real. She loves me and I can't imagine my life without her any longer.

Haruka looked straight into her deep blue eyes and wiped tenderly away the tears. Running down pale cheeks. Meeting no resistance.

"Are you sure?" she asked very quietly and sighed deeply.

"Hai." Michiru nodded her head still in those tenderly hands. "As long as you still want us."

Us. Her and Himme-chan.

"Of course I want you." She whispered and leaned forwards. Tenderly she kissed those soft lips and pulled the smaller woman closer to her body. Suddenly she didn't freeze anymore. "I want you and your daughter."

Michiru smiled through her tears and it looked as if the sun was rising after a long, cold rain.

She really forgave me.

"Our daughter." Although her voice was still shaky she had to laugh as Haruka sat upright and took her into a stormy embracement. She took her on her lap and kissed her passionately. Now the green eyes weren't sad any longer. Now there were full of joy. And hope.

"Hai, our daughter." Whispered Haruka and kissed her again and again.

Am I happy?

Michiru remembered the question that haunted her down every day for the last four years. Maybe for her whole life. She raised her hands and ran them through short blonde hairs. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sweet kisses. The soft hands caressing her naked arms. Still she wore her evening dress but none of them seemed to notice it.

Am I happy?

Haruka leaned against the child's bed but Hotaru didn't awake. She only munched in her dreams and kept sleeping. They both giggled quietly like two children and kissed again while they simply hold each other tight. Knowing that they would never let the other one go.

"Love you." Whispered Haruka between two kisses and smiled against warm lips as she felt how Michiru shivered under her soft touches.

"Love you, too." Answered Michiru and closed her eyes again.

Hai, I am happy. With her. With Himme-chan. With my family.

I am very happy, because I love and being loved.

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The steady knocks on the door woke them finally up.

"Nani?" Haruka raised her head and rubbed her tired eyes. When they went to bed they were finally able to sleep. But it still had been a short night – after they both didn't sleep at all the night before.

Again someone knocked very impatient against the door.

"It's too early. I didn't ask for breakfast." Mumbled Michiru and reached for her Ruka to pull herself closer to the warm body. Her sea green hairs were messed and there was a happy smile on her tired face.

"Morning, love." Haruka leaned over to the other woman and kissed her tenderly. Michiru repeated her kiss loving and grabbed for her arm to stay.

"Morning, Ruka." She yawned and tried to pull the blanket over the both of them. "Just let them go away. I don't give any interviews. And there's no concert this evening." Now she grinned. "And don't worry, those aren't the Three Lights. Those guys aren't awake in such an early hour."

"Early hour? It's almost noon." Giggled Haruka and slowly left the bed. "No, I don't wanna Himme-chan to wake up and to scream terrified around." She ran a hand through her messed blonde hairs and yawned again. Still she wore her warm dark pyjama but now that she left the warm bed – and the warm body besides her – she started to freeze again.

Better I'll hurry up so that I can get back under that soft blanket again. Into so tender arms...

She oppressed another yawn as she opened the door.

There were different flashes of lights and she blinked. Several reporters stood outside the door and several micros and cameras pointed at her.

"Nani?" she whispered and shook her head.

"Are you Kaioh Michiru's new lover?" asked one of the reporters and more flashes crossed the air.

-New- lover? What do you think she is?

She wanted to go over to him, to yell at him and to defend her Michi-chan, as another reporter came over to her and hold his micro under her nose.

"Are you Francis H. Miller?" he asked and again several flashes crossed the air.

"Ruka? Who is it?" Haruka heard how Michiru rose from her bed and came over to her. Still she was too shocked to react. To move. To shout. To beat.

"Answer my question: Are you Francis H. Miller? The famous Formula One racer?"

At that moment Haruka slammed the door and turned the key. Then she turned around and faced Michiru with an expression on her face as if she had seen a ghost.

The young violinist didn't ask. She simply took her into her arms and felt how Haruka held her tight as if she was her only life line.

There's no Francis H. Miller left. She died a long time ago.

Haruka swallowed and felt how Michiru rocked her gently without asking stupid questions. Again it knocked against the door but they both ignored it.

All that remained was Tenô Haruka.

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	6. Chapter 5: No child of mine

**Chapter five: No child of mine**

"Water, cola and two salads."

The waitress nodded and hurried away. There wasn't a lot to do this day but it was her way to serve her guests quickly.

A small girl laid in her mother's lap and munched happily her mash. Dark eyes looked up into tired faces. Her parents weren't as happy as her.

"You needn't cancel your concerts, Michi-chan." Whispered Haruka still looking in her menu. But she didn't chose for anything. She wasn't hungry. So the young violinist ordered for them.

"I know. But time by time there're more important things than giving concerts. I donated some money to the foundation and declared that I'll give those concerts in two months so that the fans won't be too upset. The guys understood. Now they'll do their tour on their own an I'll join them later." Michiru gave Hotaru another spoon of her loved mash and leaned forward. Tenderly she took Haruka's icy hand in her own one and squeezed it tight. "You're more important to me than those concerts."

Both of them exchanged glances and the taller woman couldn't help but blush. She smiled but the sad expression stayed in her green eyes.

"But all those reporters... I didn't want to involve you in my problems." Haruka turned the page without seeing the letters written down. They chose for a small restaurant somewhere near the airport of Nagasaki and sat down in a quiet corner. Shortly after the reporters woke them up they took Hotaru and their few things and flew from the hotel over the back staircase. Michiru managed everything over her handy and their plane would leave in about three hours.

"Don't worry, I am used to them. My parents are famous musicians and I am known for my violin play and my drawings. I don't care what the newspapers say. Some of them tried to judge me when they found out that I adopted Himme-chan and some of them tried to give an affair to my father although the girl had been only a student." Michiru thanked as the waitress brought their drinks. But Haruka still didn't look up from the menu and the ice in her cola slowly started to melt.

"But I care. 'Cause know he will know that I am here and I am not sure if I should be lucky or not." Answered the tall woman in a low voice and turned the paper again. Now she was on the wine card although she hated wine. It was so sour.

"He? Your father?" suspected Michiru and held Hotaru up to her shoulder. The baby did it's burp and yawned. Then she settled into a deep sleep.

"Hai. No." Haruka shook her head. "He's not my real father but he was the only father I had." She sighed deeply and turned again the paper until she reached the end of the menu. "I was born here in Japan, not far away from Tokyo. My mother was the daughter of Tenô Misa, the famous opera singer. So it was normal that she learned the piano. And she was good although her parents wanted her to be a great singer, too. But she chose another way and moved away when the fight with her parents became worse. They didn't talk again to each other when my mother declared them that she was pregnant – without being married. My grandparents turned away from her and died some years later in a tragic plane accident. I can't remember them. Nor can I remember my real father. Sometimes my mother said that I look like him. That I would grin like him." Haruka sighed again and took the menu finally aside. "Sometimes she called me her wind's child and she loved me very much. She didn't give up her piano play and she wrote that special song only for me. Someone heard it and one month later she was a star in Japan. She went on tour and took me with her. Then, one year later, she got to know her future husband – my future father. He was a known business men from America. They fall in love and she moved with him to the warm Country. She gave up her career and followed him. All she wanted was love and security for me. And a real family."

The salads came and Michiru took the sleeping Hotaru very carefully in her child's seat. Then she took her fork but didn't eat at all.

"So you are Francis H. Miller?" she asked after a while Haruka simply stared at the red tomato in front of her.

"Hai." The tall woman nodded slowly. "Francis Haruka Miller. That's my American name after my mother's husband adopted me. Tenô is my mother's birth name. I chose it, because now I am not that Francis anymore." She sighed deeply but Michiru didn't interrupt her. The tall woman needed her time and the young violinist would give her as much as she wanted.

"But that's a long story."

Michiru touched again icy hands and smiled understanding.

"If you want to tell it, I'd listen to you."

Haruka raised her head and looked into deep blue eyes she loved so much.

I can trust her. Completely.

The young woman swallowed hard and looked again in her untouched salad.

'Cause she loves me...

"Well, it was a normal life. I lived together with my parents in the south of California. My father was often on his business trips and my mother composed some more songs. She learned me to play the piano the way she did and I was happy with them. Then my father got to know that I was very talented in driving. There was a race every year for small children and I won it without practising. So he took me to other races and after five years when I was thirteen I was allowed to sit in a Formula One car. I was the youngest racer America had ever seen. I could do it because my father was so well known and very rich to pay every car and every start money for me. Hai, I was the youngest car racer..." Haruka nodded thoughtfully and played with her fork in the salad. "And I was the best one American had ever seen. In the first year I reached the bronze medal. In the second I year I was fourteen and the youngest World Champion America had ever seen. I won the Formula One more than once. Everything went fine. My parents supported me in my career. My mother was very proud of me. Once she told me that I was really my father's daughter: As fast as the wind. I never understood her..." Haruka bit on her lower lip and swallowed hard. "My new father saw that I was a good investment for his money and so I got faster and faster race cars and was very popular. I simply wanted to make them happy and to be loved. It's now two years that the accident happened. I drove the last race to get my third title as World Champion and I was going to win. I was so excited and so happy that I didn't see how my opponent lost the control over his car when I overtook him. He swirled around himself but I didn't think about it. The track was normally empty and so I crossed the finish line – not caring about the poor guy any longer. Accidents happened every race and you could hardly do anything against it." Haruka sighed a shaky sigh and suddenly tears sparkled in her dark green eyes. "But the track wasn't empty. My mother was there. She escaped the guards and wanted to run over to the finish line to congratulate me as the first person. The car crashed directly into her. She had no chance. "Haruka closed her eyes and felt again soft hands reaching for her own ones. "She died before she could reach the hospital. It was quite a shock for all of us. I won the Formula One but I didn't want it anymore. My father was sad and desperate. He didn't talk to me after that day and crept back into his work. He didn't come home for days and I sat the whole time at her piano and tried to play her music. To bring her back. But she didn't come back to me and I felt sad and alone. One night my father came home. He was dead drunk and without any warnings he took his belt and beat me down. I tried to defend myself but he was stronger. He called me bad names and gave me the debt for mother's death. He said if I hadn't been there my mother would have never been on the track and wouldn't be dead now. He said that I was a burden for her and now for him, too. I wasted his money and I wasn't even his own child. After he finished I spend the next days in hospital. I told the doctors that I fell down the staircase but they didn't want to believe me. Not really. But my father was too rich and too important so no one called the police." Haruka swallowed hard and looked critically at the tomato on her fork. "There was a really cute nurse there and, well, I flirted with her. It was just an hour she talked to me friendly. I was alone and was happy about her nice words. Maybe I looked too yearning or her smile had been too friendly but my father found out that I wasn't very interested in boys. One day after I left the hospital he took me and bought me in an institution. I wasn't eighteen at that day and so I couldn't defend myself. He told me that it was for my best and that he wanted me to be normal again until the next World's Championship. He said that his late wife's daughter wasn't a lesbian bitch and that he would bring me back on the right way again." Haruka shook her head again and her voice was nothing more than a whisper. But Michiru could her hear. Only her Michi-chan.

I am here for you.

Michiru squeezed the icy free hand tenderly and knew that Haruka heard her words even if she didn't say them aloud.

I love you!

"It was horrible in that institution. They really wanted to change my whole mind and one night I ran away. But they got me and pulled me back. Then they started with electrical shocks and I got more medicine and I felt like a ghost. Not like a human being anymore. My father visited me again and shouted wildly at me as he recognized that I still wasn't interested in men. After he went away I wasn't even interested in myself any longer. Being alive. I stole a knife from the kitchen and locked myself into the bathroom. They found me in the early morning. About five hours after I took my final bath." Haruka swallowed hard and two tears run down her cheeks. The pork crashed into the salad and she took Michiru's hand and let it stroke over her wrists. Michiru frowned as she saw the pale scars. There weren't visible – only if you looked closer and knew what really happened.

"They took me to the hospital in time but the doctors said that it was a miracle that I survived those wounds over five hours. Normally I would have been dead. But I survived. One doc, he was really nice to me and tried hard to help me, said that I had a very good guardian angel." Haruka sobbed quietly. "My father came and at that day he denied that I was his daughter. For him I died and he didn't want to talk to me any longer. So I recovered from my wounds and ran away again from the institution. I let my hair grew longer, bought myself an ugly red dress, took the rest of my money and left America for good. I could escape them because they searched for a tomboy, not for a young woman. I wanted to visit my mother's homeland to find a new future and maybe a better life here. I had the strange feeling that there was someone in Japan I belonged to. So I went to the next airport and flew to Tokyo. It was a rainy day when I arrived. Without any money left. Without any place to go to. Without any friends. I read your advertisement in the newspaper and thought that it was worth a try. Well, you know the rest of the story." Haruka swallowed hard and shook again her head. Blonde strands fell in her dark green eyes. Tears sparkled in them and Michiru could hear some oppressed sobs. She stood up and sat down next to her Ruka and took her into her arms. The tall woman trembled and more tears ran down her pale cheeks.

"That's strange. I didn't cry since my mother's death and now it's the second time within only two days..." whispered Haruka but leaned herself against Michiru's warm body.

She really loves me!

"By the news I got to know that my father's still searching for me. Maybe he wants me back as the great Formula One racer. And now he knows that I am here and I simply don't know what I shall do. He said that I am no child of him any longer and I don't wanna see him again. Although it's strange. I still love him. Even if he wasn't my real father..."

Michiru squeezed her harder and raised her right hand. Tenderly she wiped away hot tears and kissed shaking lips.

"So you know who I am."

The young violinist looked deep into dark green eyes.

"Hai, you're Tenô Haruka, my great love." She whispered and kissed her again. Then she pulled her closer and hold her tight. The waitress was intelligent enough to let them in peace and Hotaru slept innocently in her child's seat.

"And don't worry, we'll think of something."

Haruka nodded and held her tight as if she was her only life line.

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"I still can't believe that we did it." Haruka blinked and searched for her sunglasses as they left the plane. She took a deep breathe and blinked into a sun which was brighter and hotter in a Country she used to know very well. Now she felt like a stranger.

"If you don't want to we can take the next plane back to Tokyo." Said Michiru next to her side and carried her daughter.

"No, you're right. I can't run away the rest of my life..." The tall woman took care for her family as Michiru left the plane and stepped down the staircase. Hotaru still slept deep and tight and smiled happily as some rays of golden sunlight touched her face.

Michiru raised her head and smiled loving up to her.

"Whatever will happen, remember, Ruka, I'll be there." She giggled as Haruka took her into her arms and gave her a quick but passionate kiss. Some passengers complaint behind them that they wanted to leave the plane, too, but they didn't take attention.

Deep blue eyes looked straight into dark green ones.

I love you, Ruka.

Another short kiss and they left the staircase for good. Some passengers sighed deeply behind them.

I love you, too, Michi-chan.

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There was a big lump in her throat as she saw the white building on the green hill. She drove towards it and parked the blue Mercedes they rent at the airport at the drive.

It's only one year now but it seems to be eternity...

Haruka sighed deeply, then she jumped out of the car and helped Michiru out. The young violinist grabbed the collar of her white shirt and pulled her nearer. Then she gave her a long and loving kiss.

"Don't worry, if he's your father he loves you." She turned around and took Hotaru and her seat in her hands. Shortly she looked down at sparkling dark eyes. "As we love our Himme-chan."

Haruka followed her look and nodded. Then she took a deep breathe and hurried up the stairs to the big entrance door. The bell rang twice, then the door was opened.

"Hi, Loreena. Is my father at home?" Haruka smiled at the old woman behind the door. She was one of her father's servants who cooked his meals, tidied up his house and took care of his huge garden.

"F... Francis? Is that you?" The old woman blinked and frowned. Then her face brightened up and before Haruka could react he embraced her hard. "Hell, we were so concerned about our little Francis! When you disappeared without a trace we were all very sad and afraid. Even Michael – although he would have never admitted it." Loreena grinned happily. "Well, you aren't so little any longer, am I right?" She stepped aside and let her in. She bowed before her Michiru and the baby.

"How cute!" she exclaimed and Hotaru laughed happily as she stroke over soft cheeks. "She's almost as cute as my granddaughter."

"Arigato. Hello, I am Kaioh Michiru. I am pleased to meet you." Said the young violinist and bowed. Loreena looked a little bit confused, but bowed, too. Then she hurried away to find her master, Mister Miller.

"The traditions are a little bit different from Japan." Explained Haruka and took another deep breathe. Her heart seemed to explode in her chest and she asked herself if it was the right decision. Michiru had the idea that she should go to her father before he came to Japan after his long searches. So they cancelled the fly to Tokyo and flew to California instead.

"I know. But still I confuse all those strange traditions I got to know during my world tour three years ago."

When I searched for Uranus.

Michiru smiled loving up to a pale face. Haruka clenched nervously her fists and walked thoughtfully around the huge entrance hall.

And when I decided to stay at home for Himme-chan I found my Ruka.

They heard silent footsteps from above and Haruka raised her head and looked up to the man standing at the end of a big staircase.

He became old during the past years.

Haruka swallowed hard as she saw grey strands in once so dark hairs. The brown eyes were empty and seemed to be very tired.

"Daddy?" she asked with a suddenly shaky voice.

"Francis?" He frowned and seized hard on the handrail as he walked slowly downstairs.

Where's the power left? The strength I feared so much when he was drunk?

Haruka didn't see it anymore. All she saw was an suddenly very old man.

"Where have you been?" he asked with a low voice and observed her from top to the toes. She bit on her lower lip and knew what he saw: A tomboy in men's clothes. The person he tried to heal from her illness. Without taking care of her personal feelings. Of her soul.

"In Japan, at mommy's birthplace." She whispered and her deep green eyes followed his motions.

"I should have known it." He sighed deeply. "I read the newspaper yesterday. Seems as if you followed her footsteps and became a famous piano player."

"To be honest, I only wanted to give a friend a pleasure." She smiled but her smile broke as he waved his free hand to show her that she should be silent.

"You ran away without leaving a single note. You didn't call me up the last months. So why did you return? What do you want from me? Money!"

I don't know.

Haruka took a deep breathe but she couldn't find a suitable answer.

Forgiveness? Friendship? Love?

At that moment Hotaru started desperately to cry. Michiru put the child's seat down and took her daughter into her arms. The girl grabbed for sea green strands and calmed down a bit. Still tears sparkled in her dark eyes and helping she looked up into her mother's tenderly smiling face.

"I ... I..." suddenly Haruka wasn't sure anymore. Why she came to this place she started to hate after her mother's death. She started to fear after her father started to drink. She saw over and over again in her nightmares. Whenever she took again the knife and locked herself in the tiny bathroom...

"I..."

"Stop stammer!" snapped the tall man and walked slowly over to the huge living-room. "Let's sit down and talk serious before my powers are gone." The man looked very weak while he entered the living room and took place in a huge armchair. But at the same time Haruka saw his brown eyes sparkle with anger and she was sure that he was still able to hurt her.

"So, what is it you want?" he asked after his guests sat down on a huge couch opposite to him. "Money? Forget it! I fed you, bought you clothes. You got a roof over your head, an excellent education and more than one race car!" he declared and raised his voice. "I won't give you back your trophies! I financed your races and it's fair for me to keep them! You're old enough to get a job and to earn your own money!"

Haruka swallowed hard and shook her head.

"I didn't come for money. I came for..."

"You won't move into this house again, forget it! I lived too long with you! It's over now! You grown up! I am not longer responsible for you!"

"But..."

Haruka shook her head again and looked at a now smiling Hotaru in her girlfriend's arms.

"But you're my father." She tried to explain and searched for the right words.

"I am not your father, you know this too well! Maybe I adopted you so that I could marry your mother. I only wanted her, she was the love of my life! You've always been your mother's child! If you look for a father, then search for your producer who left your mother before your birth!" The tall man clenched his fists and Haruka got paler with a sudden.

"You don't understand! I came here to..."

"Shut up, Francis! I can't hear your stammer anymore! You only caused trouble. The whole of your life! Your grandparents didn't want your mother anymore because of you! Of you bastard! She worked hard to fed you until she met me. I married her and so you got a home and good education! I tried hard to be a good father for you, but all you gave me back was sadness and despair! You killed my wife! Don't tell me that you didn't know that she was standing there! Normally you knew everything what happened on track, so why do you still claim that you didn't that time?"

"It was an accident!" screamed Haruka and rose from the couch. "It was a bloody accident!"

We've discussed this so many times! Why can't he stop telling this?

"Hai, an accident! Maybe for you. Maybe you didn't care so much for her, but she was my life. And you took her away from me! But that wasn't enough for you, eh? You wanted to destroy my life! After her death you became stranger and, hell, you didn't even cry at the funeral."

Haruka shook her head.

I cried a lot. During long, dark nights you've been away from home...

But she had no chance to interrupt his speech.

"And then I had to find out about your interests in your own gender! Don't you feel ashamed for yourself? Didn't you ever think what it meant for me having an adopted, lesbian daughter!"

"So you took me into that institution! Great solution! Really, great, daddy! They tortured me with electrical shocks! They beat me even more than you with your bloody belt and they gave me more medicine that I could bare. I threw up all my food and could hardly walk any longer. I was a zombie, nothing more! I wasn't a real human any longer!"

"You've never been, you lesbian! And don't you ever call me daddy again! I am not your father, I've never been! And sometimes I wish that you died at that very night in the hospital. Five hours! No one could survive such a long time with so deep wounds, but you could! To punish me even more, you devil! It was written on all magazines, that my adopted daughter tried to commit suicide and how the business world laughed over me! I was nothing than a fool to them! And then you ran away. Simply ran away and left me here behind!"

Haruka clenched her fists and took a deep breathe as she slowly walked over to him.

"It was my only chance to survive. You know that! You can't change my soul nor am I able to change the past. It happened and hell, I miss her, too. What do you think? She was my mother and I loved her the same way you did! I..."

"Shut up!" The tall man rose from his armchair and grabbed hard her shoulders. Haruka didn't wince away. Both stared motionless at each other. Silence evolved between them. Finally the old man interrupted it with a whisper. But it was louder than every scream.

"It's enough, Francis. I am fed up with all this. I am finished with you. The day you let my wife die you stopped existing for me. And that very day in the hospital you stopped being my daughter. Go away to wherever you came from and never come back. You're no child of mine anymore."

Haruka's green eyes grew wide and her whole body started to tremble although she tried hard to fight against it.

"You can't simply..." she choked and blinked. Suddenly tears burned in her eyes.

She saw the man again and again in front of her. How he rose a little girl in the air and swirled around with her. How he told her good night stories. How he sat in front of a tiny bed, taking care for a feverish little child.

Her face hardened.

How he came home deadly drunk and hurt her with more than his words. How he took her to the institution. How he didn't care for her any longer after her tried suicide.

"Why can't I? I am not responsible for you any longer. You're grown up! You're old enough to live your own life. So go away. I never want to be ashamed about you again! I never ever want to see you again! So go!"

Is it so simple for him? To turn around and erase me out of his mind? Out of his memories? Out of his life? Is it so easy for him pretending that I was never born? Not for him?

"Parents are always responsible for their children..."

"But you aren't a child of mine! Comprehend Francis!" he raised one hand and slapped her right into the face. Haruka stumbled some steps back and a shocked expression laid on her face. At the next moment it was gone and her eyes went empty.

"I understood." She whispered and swallowed hard.

At that moment started Hotaru terrified to scream because of the angry, loud voices. She wasn't used to them and she felt very afraid. Especially in a house she didn't know. With a stranger who was obviously very angry. Full of hate and despair.

"Hush..." whispered Michiru who was pale, too.

"And who the hell is that? Can't this bloody baby be silent? And who's that bitch? Your new whore!" the old man waved his arms but Michiru stood up before he could reach her. Tenderly she rocked her daughter and Hotaru's frightened cries changed into angry ones.

"Don't call her a bitch, you ignorant, old man!" snapped Haruka and stepped protectively between the smaller woman and the man who used to be her father. "She's my girlfriend!"

"So you aren't recovered now, Francis! And how is it to do it with a girl? How do you get an orgasm without..."

"Shut up or I'll forget my good attitudes!" warning Haruka raised her right fists and met angry brown eyes. Hotaru kept crying.

"And that bastard! Can't it stop screaming? It's annoying! Who the hell it that? The brood of your whore? How much does she cost?"

I'll kill you! I'll beat you! I'll hurt you the same way you did!

Haruka took a deep breathe and felt Michiru's right hand on her arm. To hold her back. To tell her that she was there. To beg silently that they should leave. He wasn't worth any trouble.

"That's Hotaru, my daughter."

"Daughter? Don't tell me that you tried it with a man!" Brown eyes looked hateful into angry shinning dark eyes and Hotaru's sirens even increased.

"I am going to adopt her. She's my daughter, whatever you may think." Declared the tall woman and it sounded like the growl of a dangerous tiger. Ready for the final jump.

"Don't make the same mistake I did, Francis. She will never be your daughter as long as she hasn't a bit of your blood in her. You will never really love her and she will only misuse you. Your money, your shares and your house!"

Haruka shook her head, suddenly she looked very disappointed.

"You understood nothing, James Miller. Being parents doesn't mean giving birth to the children. It means to be there for them. To care for them -as long as we live. I didn't come for money. I didn't come to steal you anything. You can keep those bloody trophies, I don't need them." Haruka took a deep breathe and stepped besides her Michiru, still feeling the warm hand calming on her arm.

"I came for my father. I came here to show him my family. The persons I love. I came to show him his granddaughter and to ask if he still loves me." She turned around and only Michiru could see the tears burning in her eyes.

"I came for forgiveness, but you made your point very clear. Gomen, I will never disturb you again. Be happy with your money and with all the riches you own."

She took Hotaru in her trembling arms and handles Michiru the car keys.

"Let's go." She whispered and looked like a broken hero. Like a soldier who lost the most important battle. Now the war was over but the sacrifices had been too big.

I wish I could help you.

The young violinist watched her leaving the living room and turned towards the tall man still standing next to the couch.

Would I ever have become as cynic as him if I would have waited for Uranus the rest of my life?

She shivered and suddenly she was very cold.

"How could you dare, Mister Miller?" she asked very quietly and her deep blue eyes glowed like fire. "She really loved you! And hell, she misses her mother more than you can imagine! Maybe she is 19 now, but in her heart she's still a child. And she needed you. Not your money, not your house or your influences as a business man! She needed you as a father. She needed your love!" Michiru shook her head and sighed deeply. "How could you hurt her so much!"

With those words she turned around and followed her girlfriend who already left the big house and stumbled towards the Mercedes.

I have to help her. Somehow...

The old man watched them driving away. Forever.

"My love...?" he whispered and for some seconds his eyes shone sad. He walked over to the desk and looked at a framed picture. It showed a beautiful woman with long dark hairs and shinning eyes. She laughed happily. Almost as happily as the small girl in her arms. Wind played with short blonde hairs and green eyes looked loving up to her mother.

"No, she's no child of mine. She's never been..."

The glass cracked as it hit the ground.

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Coloured flashlights shone through huge windows. The noise of starting planes could be heard. But it was the only hotel near the airport you could stay without fearing of being robbed during the night.

Hotaru slept on the huge bed under a thin blanket, her little arms determined wrapped around her old toy teddy. She was full and calmed herself down from the screaming of the afternoon.

Her parents couldn't forget it so easily.

"Ruka?"

Michiru entered the bathroom and stripped her summer dress. The tall car racer already sat in the tube and water drops let the surface shiver as she stared at her wet hands.

"Sweetheart?"

The young violinist climbed behind her girlfriend in the big tube and embraced her from behind. Carefully she took those wet hands in her own ones and hold them tight. She leaned her head against the other one's shoulder and felt, how the warm body next to her trembled.

"It wasn't your fault."

Haruka blinked and the scream died away in her head as she felt those soft hands on her skin. Slowly she raised her head and her eyes returned from a nightmare only she could see.

"He had been right. I always knew what was happening on the track – even during the races." Said the tall woman with a low voice and shook her head. She didn't feel the warm water around her shaking body. Nor did she feel her own heartbeat any longer. But she felt soft hands slowly stroking through her short blonde hairs. She lowered her head again and wet strands fell in her green eyes. Empty eyes.

"I am guilty for her death."

Michiru swallowed hard and shook her head.

"No." She whispered and hold her girlfriend tighter. "It was an accident." Deep she sighed.

I wish I could help you. As much as you helped me to find back from my illusions. To find back into real life again. To get my soul back – and to give it to the one and only I really love...

"He is an asshole."

"Hai, he is." Haruka laughed a shaky laugh. It was full of bitterness. "But this asshole used to me my father. Hell, I really loved him." Haruka clenched her fists and beat against the tube's rim. "He simply threw me away like an old robe or a shoe that isn't modern anymore! That's not the way parents should be with their children. That's not how the whole idea is supposed to be..." Silently she shrugged her shoulders and closed her eyes. "I am afraid, Michi-chan." She admitted and swallowed hard. "What if I'll ever become like him? If I'll ever be so mean to our Himme-chan? If I'll ever show her the door and push her away? What if I'll ever hurt?" The last sentence wasn't more than a quiet sob but Michiru could understand it. She squeezed her girlfriend harder and gave her a calming kiss on her already wet neck.

"You'll never be, Ruka. You love our princess. As you said, it has nothing to do with blood. When you came into our house half a year ago and gave her the toy doggy back you fell in love with her. I saw it in your eyes when you fed her the next morning. Can't you remember? You promised me never to hurt her. Never ever! I believe you, Ruka." Michiru gave her another soft kiss. "You risked your life to save her after the car accident and you were really concerned about her. Your father only wanted your mother and took you, too, because he only could marry your mother with you as his new daughter. This situation is different. You want me – and Hotaru, too."

I love you so much!

Haruka pressed her eyes hard together and sighed deeply.

"I wish I could be so sure. Now I am young and maybe I don't know what it means to be responsible for a small child for the rest of my life. Maybe I'll automatically become like him..."

"Hush, darling." Michiru leaned over Haruka's shoulder and looked into sad shinning green eyes. "Maybe you're young, but you know what love is. And you love Hotaru, don't you?"

Haruka nodded slightly.

"Hai..." she responded finally and closed her eyes again as Michiru kissed her tenderly. She raised her hands and ran them through long blue strands.

Hell, it feels so good!

For the first time for over two years she felt safe and secure. Here was the place she belonged. Here, with her Michi-chan and her Himme-chan. With her family.

"Don't worry about him, Ruka. He isn't worth it." Michiru smiled confident into a still pale face. "Don't worry, Hotaru already has two grandparents and as I know my parents, Himme-chan won't survive any more grandparents."

For a slight second there was panic on Haruka's face and she frowned. Michiru understood her without any words.

"Don't worry, my mother isn't always so bad. She was simply concerned about me. About my health, my luck and my illusions. Guess she'll be happy that I have now found my soul mate." She giggled as Haruka's eyes grew wide in concern. "They know that they will never get a son-in-law. I told them four years ago and they were very understanding. Until I started chasing after a ghost. Even my father was very concerned about me. He wants to see his little daughter happy. They'll accept you, don't worry. And after you had the first battles with my mother, she'll love you, too." Michiru gave her Ruka another sweet kiss. "And my friends already know it. I simply don't know how to tell Usagi. Guess she still thinks that you're a guy."

Now there was a thin smile on Haruka's pale face.

"Usako is a crazy, but nice person." She admitted and Michiru had to giggle.

"A very nice and sometimes stupid one." The young violinist thought at Sailor Moon and knew that she had to tell Haruka about her second I. "And a very, very good friend. More than once she saved my life." She meant it literally...

The tall woman oppressed a yawn and both of them left the tube after washing each other tenderly. They dried themselves with a soft towel and walked slowly over to the huge bed they would have to share this night with Hotaru. The hotel didn't have another room left and their fly would start early in the morning.

"Please, don't switch off the light." Marbled Haruka as she crept under the warm blanket. Michiru frowned but the small lamp beside the bed kept burning.

"It wasn't just for Himme-chan, was it?" she asked and swallowed as she remembered what her girlfriend told her the last week.

Is it just a few days ago? That I pushed her away? That I didn't know how much we love each other? How much we needed each other? Was I really so blind over all those months?

"No..." The tall woman turned around and watched her for some moments silently with her dark green eyes. "The nights in the institution were long and dark. Whenever I wake up from a nightmare and see a light around I know that I really escaped. That I am not there any longer."

She sighed and closed her eyes as Michiru kissed her tenderly and pulled her carefully into the pillow.

"Don't worry, Ruka. Whenever you awake, I'll be there. Love you." Whispered the young violinist, embraced her girlfriend from behind, leaned her head against her shoulder and felt asleep the next minute. It had been a very exciting day and she was tired.

So was Haruka.

But she simply couldn't sleep.

"Love you, too." She whispered back and looked down on a sleeping baby next to her under the thin blanket. Hotaru smiled in her innocent dreams and squeezed her old teddy tighter.

He said you were no child of mine.

Haruka carefully caressed over round cheeks and smiled automatically as the small girl yawned and her tiny fingers reached for her big ones. Hold them tight with a strength only babies had.

He was wrong.

"Love you, too."

----------------------------------------------------------


	7. Epilogue: The one

**Epilogue: The one**

"Are you nuts!"

An excited Setsuna walked through the kitchen. From one corner to the other one.

"She's my girlfriend. She wants to adopt Hotaru, too. I have to tell her." Michiru sat at the table and stared at her hands.

"Do you know what you're talking about? You could harm Sailor Moon and the whole future by doing such a risky thing!" Setsuna stepped before the table and pressed her hands hard on the wood.

"She has a right to know it."

The older woman's eyes narrowed and she took a deep breathe.

"Why? Because she's your lover? That's not a reason for..."

"She's my soul mate!" Michiru suddenly raised her head and determined blue eyes stared into surprised black ones.

"And Uranus...?"

It was nothing more than a whisper but it was louder than a bomb exploding.

"That's not my business any longer! I waited for over four years for her, Sets! Even Sailor Moon isn't sure if she was reborn on earth in this time!" Michiru rose from her chair and now she was the one walking between fridge and door up and down. "Hell, Sets, I was so alone for over four years! I can't bare it any longer! Himme-chan needs a loving daddy and Ruka is crazy about her. She loves her with all consequences and I know she would never leave her. And she loves me, too. I am not alone any longer, Sets. I am suddenly as happy as I had never been before. I feel as if I could move mountains! I can't imagine my life without her anymore! I need her, Sets. I love her..." Michiru took a deep breathe. "That's why I am going to tell her that I am Sailor Neptune and that our daughter will be Sailor Saturn one day. She loves me, she'll understand it."

Setsuna still shook her head, there was a really sad expression on her face.

"There're new enemies now. We already fought against them, Michiru. There's a new threat – maybe from another solar system than our milky way. You feel it, I feel it and the others feel it, too. What happens if you are forced to fight. What will Haruka do? Sit at home and watch at Hotaru who will fight with you when she's old enough? This is not an easy life you've chosen, Michiru. Not for you nor for Haruka."

Michiru nodded, opened the fridge and closed it again without taking notice of it's content.

"But it's my only life and I can't live without them anymore. Comprehend, Sets, they're my family. I know my duty as Sailor Neptune and I will never disappoint Sailor Moon. I would give my life for my Queen. But before I have to fight, before I have to sacrifice myself and die, I have a normal life on this earth, in this time. And I am going to live it as long as it's possible – with Haruka and with Hotaru as a normal, innocent child!"

Suddenly tears burned in Michiru's eyes. Setsuna stepped over to her and took her into her arms and rocked her as if she was a small child.

"I know, Michiru." She whispered and sighed deeply. "I know."

dbdbdb

Slowly the leaves fell down. Whole nature was coloured and the bright sun sparkled through a light green, a golden yellow and a deep purple. The whole park seemed to be inflamed.

Some leaves swirled around in the fresh autumn wind around a sport pram. A small girl laughed happily and stretched her arms towards them. She caught a brown one and looked proudly up to her parents.

"They did really cut the rehearsal?" asked Haruka and stroke over Hotaru's dark hairs. Carefully she corrected the child's jacket. Still it was a very nice autumn day, but it got colder with every hour and she didn't want her to get a cold.

"Hai." Michiru smiled happily and danced beside her through the leaves. "More than seventy percent of the orchestra are ill and so the conductor thought that it's not worth playing." She swirled around and took her lover in her arms. "Anyway, I have the whole afternoon time to be with my family." Michiru grinned and kissed the taller woman. "And I have the whole evening time to..." she giggled as she saw how Haruka blushed deeply. "... to tickle you!" The young violinist reached under Haruka's brown robe and the taller woman burst out into laughter.

"No... please... Michi..." she laughed and tried to defend herself but she knew that she it was senseless when Michiru started to punish her in that more or less pleasant way.

"Why... Michi..."

"Well, that's my way to show you my love. And I love you very much!" The evil grin grew wider on Michiru's face as she tickled her girlfriend even more. Haruka's laughter increased. Then she reached for the young violinist who screamed out loud. But the taller woman didn't think of revenge. Instead she pulled her girlfriend closer and kissed her passionately.

An old couple passed by but they didn't see them. Didn't see how they made funny faces at Hotaru who winked back. Didn't hear their silent words about the young couple being so deep in love with each other.

The older woman sighed in memories and said something about young love and romantic. Her husband agreed and they walked quietly away. Hand in hand. Grateful that they still had each other.

"Let's go on." Whispered Michiru after a long time they kissed and grinned as Haruka winced slightly. Carefully her right hand crept under her lover's wide shirt and caressed soft skin.

"Oh, you're so cold, Michi-chan!" Haruka put her hands over Michiru's on the clothe and hold it on her warm belly. "Let me warm you."

Michiru grinned back and gave her another soft kiss.

"At home..." she whispered and turned around to take the handlebars of her daughter's pram. The little girl caught two other leaves and showed them around proudly. Michiru corrected the scarf carefully and stroke over redden cheeks.

I have to tell her.

Michiru swallowed while they walked along the stony way covered with coloured leaves. She looked over to her lover, saw how the wind played with her short blonde hairs and her long robe.

I love her so much.

The last weeks since they returned from America had been like a wonderful, never ending dream. Suddenly she wasn't alone any longer. She had a real family. Not only her parents far away in Countries on the other side of the world. She had her Ruka and her Himme-chan.

I love her so much. That's why she has a right to know it.

"Ruka?" her voice was suddenly very shaky and she was angry about herself.

Why am I frightened with a sudden? She loves me! And Himme-chan! She won't leave me because I am a senshi. Because I am a part of Sailor Moon's Crystal Tokyo!

But the old fear stayed.

"Hai?" Haruka didn't turn her head. She had closed her eyes and it looked as if she would listen to the wind playing with her own scarf. Soft rays shimmered on her smiling face and suddenly she looked like an angel.

My angel...

"I've got to tell you something. Maybe you'll be shocked and maybe Sets is right and it's a fault to tell you. But I love you too much to deny it any longer and..." stammered Michiru and her steps got slower and slower.

"What is it?" Haruka frowned as she heard her lover's uncertain voice. She stopped beside her and finally opened her eyes. Michiru took a deep breathe as she saw into dark green eyes she loved so much.

"Are you a bank robber? Did you kill someone?" Haruka made a really, really shocked face. "Or did anything happen to your nice Ferrari?"

What the hell is she telling me? She's so pale with a sudden? She knows she can tell me everything, doesn't she?

"No, I have enough money and you're the only person driving the Ferrari, so it wouldn't be my fault." Michiru clenched her fists and looked into Hotaru's smiling face. "I didn't kill someone. Until know I wasn't forced to. Fortunately. Because I owned the talisman on my own." Michiru sighed and suddenly tears burned in her deep blue eyes. "Just once I almost let a person die: That was my sweet Himme-chan. She threatened the whole world and I was ready to kill her. Together with Sets. It was our only chance, because the one who owned the third talisman didn't appear and I was prepared to take any sacrifice to rescue six billions of people. Even to give up myself. That's my mission and destiny as a Sailor senshi and I would do it every day if it's necessary to defend our future Queen and our future King. And one day when Hotaru's old enough, she'll be a senshi, too."

Michiru sighed again and finally raised her head. But Haruka's face wasn't shocked. Only thoughtfully as if she remembered something.

"You don't believe me, do you?" asked Michiru with a shaky voice and looked up to the sky to prevent her tears from falling.

"It sounds... strange..." answered Haruka after a long while and shook her head.

But at the same time it sounds familiar...

At that moment they heard the screams and an old couple flew in their direction. There was a strange being behind them. It wasn't a living human nor was it an animal. It looked like a huge tree coming to live. And it had huge scissors and knifes instead of leaves and branches.

"Help!" yelled the old couple before it fainted. There was a bright light and two crystals floated above their heads. Then they turned black and the youma screamed out loud.

"That's all your fault!" yelled another person. It was smaller than the monster and remembered Haruka who stepped protectively before the sport pram on a mouse.

"Sailor Iron Mouse." Growled Michiru and sighed deeply. Then she took her staff out of her bag and turned around to her lover who watched the youma with big eyes. "This is what I meant, Ruka." She whispered and gave her a short kiss. "Take care for Himme-chan. This is my business."

With a deep breathe she faced again the youma and raised her henshin.

"Neptune make up!" she screamed and felt the water surrounding her. Heard the rushes of the waves and felt how her clothes changed into her Sailor uniform.

"Deep submerge!" The planet left her hands and crashed over the youma who screamed in pain.

Now she knows it!

Neptune jumped and escaped Sailor Iron Mouse's angry attacks. The youma wasn't worth a penny. It was immobile and too large. So the enemy had to fight herself. It wasn't her duty, she could have walked away and let the youma die. But this time she was angry. She didn't find a pure star crystal and there was only Neptune around to attack. Sailor Neptune who defeated her for so many times.

Now she knows who I really am.

Michiru jumped again and the old couple stood up again. Now their crystals were black and they were now zombies of Sailor Iron Mouse. They had similar scissors and knifes as the large youma, but they were faster.

Four against one!

"Deep submerge!" screamed Michiru and tried to ran into the other direction. So that they wouldn't see and attack Haruka and Hotaru, her family.

Now she knows it.

To fight against those youmas was even easier than to look back and see into Haruka's surely shocked face.

I fight against once nice people and if Sailor Moon wasn't powerful enough I would have to kill them all. I am nothing more than a murderer in a nice dress - although I never had to kill anyone. But I would if I would rescue 6 billion people with just one sacrifice. I would sacrifice myself. And I would sacrifice the ones I love. Is Haruka strong enough to live with such a destiny? Is she strong enough to keep living with me? To know that our daughter will be Sailor Saturn one day? The senshi of death?

Michiru swallowed hard and threw another planet at the youmas around her.

Will she still love me when she knows that I am Uranus's soul mate and only love her, because Uranus isn't awake in this world? In this time? She isn't a substitute - but will she believe me?

Her thoughts, her angst, her nightmares grew too powerful in her soul and suddenly she stood there. Motionless. Silent. Only her eyes watered as she saw how the other youmas came nearer.

Will I ever be able to live again without her?

She knew the answer too well.

No...

Haruka saw how the scissors and knifes came closer and closer and how her girlfriend didn't move. Her girlfriend in a strange uniform she believed to know. Once she had seen such a similar uniform, too.

Or had it been just a nightmare? A feverish one?

She had seen a lot of illusions when she laid in hospital. When she got pain killers against her inflamed arms. Against the wounds which didn't stop to bleed until she decided that she would face life and pushed every thought about death again. At that moment her guardian angel seemed to leave her and the wounds closed.

"No." Whispered Haruka and pushed the pram carefully aside next to a bush were hopefully the strange monsters wouldn't see her.

"NOOO!" she screamed and ran. As fast as never had. Not even when she crossed the finish line and the other car killed her mother. When she wanted to go to her in the fire and the guards didn't let her through.

"NOOO!" Determined she jumped between the old couple and grabbed her Michiru. They both flew on the ground and Haruka looked into watery deep blue eyes. Into a painful face.

"Please, don't leave me..." sobbed Neptune and coughed.

"Never." Answered Haruka without thinking. Only with her heart. "Whatever is your duty, you have to do it. I won't be in your way, Michi-chan. I'll support you - the same way you help me every day to be happy again." Haruka raised her head and saw how the mouse girl laughed a wicked laughter and the old couple raised their knifes.

"No, you won't hurt her!" Haruka got to her feet and spread her arms protectively before her girlfriend how couldn't stand up. Her right leg hurt too much.

Maybe it's broken.

Neptune swallowed hard and tried to stand up. She groaned and blackness on her eye's rims forced her to stay where she was.

"I don't know who you are, but you won't beat her." Haruka's dark green eyes sparkled and she felt how the wind increased. It played with her short blonde hairs and stroke over pale cheeks.

"And you'll hinder us?" laughed Sailor Iron Mouse and shook her head. "What will you do?"

"If you harm her in any way I'll kill you!" Haruka clenched her fists and took a deep breathe. She could hear her lover's words shouting that she should ran away. That she should think of Himme-chan and about her future. Then it got quieter and quieter and even the shouting of the mouse girl disappeared. All that remained was the howl of the wind and the rushes of a far away sea.

She saw the knifes and scissors flying through the air. A scream shortly broke through the howl but it stopped as fast as it begun.

This is my destiny.

Suddenly Haruka smiled as she saw a golden light in front of her face and automatically grabbed for it. There was another woman smiling friendly at her. She knew her. From somewhere far beyond her dreams. She had seen her between life and death.

Haruka nodded and raised the hot staff in her hands up to the sky.

She's my guardian angel. She helped me to survive in those dark days at hospital. She helped me and gave me back my will to live.

The tall woman stepped behind her and embraced her softly. It was the same touch Haruka had experienced after her father denied her in front of the doctor. Then it was gone and it left a strange feeling. Of an old memory she seemed to keep away. So that it couldn't hurt her.

No, please, don't say such words. I need you, Uranus. You're my soul mate. You can't leave... can't leave me... now. I... I love you... 

Again she heard the shaky voice in her head. It almost broke her heart how it did the last time. Again she felt soft lips on her own. Lips she got to know so well during the past weeks.

Uranus?

The wind howled louder and louder and she screamed words she didn't know but they sounded very familiar in her ears. Her clothes changed and she could hear her heart beat in her mind. It had the same rhythm as the storm around her.

She turned her head and looked down at her lover. Deep blue eyes were still full of tears and grew wide as she watched the taller woman in great shock and disbelieve.

The knifes attained her.

NOOO!

Neptune's cry was full of despair and it sounded so familiar, too. There had been a similar scream. Thousands of years ago...

"Earth shaking!" Haruka swirled around and before she knew she did a huge golden planet crashed against the knifes and they fell dead to earth.

"That can't be! Another senshi! That's not my best day!" whimpered the mouse girl and a telephone box appeared next to her. She stepped into, waved with her hand and disappeared with the red thing.

Left were a surprised youma and the still transformed old couple.

"You aren't allowed to treat old people like that! They're wise and respectable. We all love our grandparents and you hurt them!" Haruka turned around and blinked as she saw a shinning person standing next to Hotaru's pram. The little girl laughed and the figure smiled shortly back. Shortly but with blue eyes full with deep love.

The young woman had two wings.

Like an angel...

Haruka blinked again and remembered her. She had seen her in the hotel room when Michiru danced around with her daughter in her arms.

Or had it been just an illusion?

Haruka lowered her head and looked shocked at the short skirt she was wearing. It was too short for her taste.

Is this an illusion, too?

"That's why I'll punish you in the name of the moon!"

Some other figures in similar uniforms appeared behind the goddess, but Haruka didn't care about them any longer. Silently she stumbled over to her Michiru and went on her knees next to her. Without saying a word she took the trembling senshi of the wide ocean in her arms and held her tight. She didn't really know what happened the last minutes but she surely knew that they survived it and that Michiru still loved her.

The smaller senshi raised her arms and stroke over her lover's cheeks.

"You're Uranus, Ruka..." she whispered and smiled. Then she started desperately to sob. "I searched you for almost five years now and I almost let you go, because I've been too ignorant to see the truth." She pulled her girlfriend closer and buried her burning face in her shoulder.

"I was so ignorant and because of my idle look of life I almost lost you. Forever."

Uranus.

Soul mate.

My Ruka...

"You know I am here for you. Always, Michi-chan." Haruka swallowed hard and frowned as the youma disappeared and the old couple looked normal again. "Although I don't know why I should wear this skirt. It's too short and it's too cold! You know I am not born to wear dresses." Teased the taller senshi and swallowed hard. The henshin escaped her shaking hands and in the next moment she wore her normal clothes again. As if nothing had happened at all.

"You know my opinion about dresses, Ruka." Michiru swallowed hard and squeezed her harder, ignoring the pain flashing through her leg.

"What happened?" asked Haruka and stroke through sea green curls and calming over a still trembling back. Michiru raised her head and her cheeks were wet. Her deep blue eyes looked straight into green eyes.

I love her, no matter who she is.

"You're Sailor Uranus." She declared with a shaky voice and smiled a thin smile.

"Pardon?" Haruka frowned and looked around into different surprised, understanding or simply crying faces around her. There were six women and a girl in similar uniforms. And behind them the tall woman see could three shadows disappearing between the trees.

Michiru pulled her even closer and it seemed as if she would never ever let her go again.

I'll wait for you... As... as long as... I live... 

Both heard the words in their minds. Together with the rushes of the wide sea moved by wild wind.

Michiru's voice was very quietly, but Haruka heard it and her heart almost stopped to beat.

"You're Sailor Uranus, Ruka. You're the one I've been waiting for so long."

Haruka swallowed hard and pulled her lover closer to herself.

And you've been the girl I wanted to apologise to. Why didn't I see it before? You've been the one from my nightmare. The one who kissed me and said that she will love me forever...

As I love you, Michi-chan.

dbdbdb

"Michi-chan? I am home."

Haruka stripped her robe and slipped out of her wet shoes. Then she walked over to the living-room. She could smell the friendly fire burning in the chimney. It was now in the end of October and it was quite cold outside. It got darker with every hour and so the evenings could be romantic.

"And, how was it?"

Michiru kneeled before a sitting Hotaru. Their cheeks were redden and both of them laughed.

My family...

Haruka swallowed hard as she walked over to them.

"Terrible! Usako almost cried when it was her turn and she screamed at the doctor as if he killed her."

Michiru giggled at her lover's words and could imagine a screaming Usagi too well. The two where at the doctor to get their vaccination against the dangerous winter's flu. The other of the Sailor team had been to the doctor two weeks ago but at this time Haruka and Usagi had have a little cold and weren't allowed to get the injection.

I never want to be so ill like last spring again.

"But you was the great hero, wasn't you?"

"Hai." Haruka blushed slightly and grinned a tomboy grin.

The young violinist frowned as she watched her lover.

Otherwise I would have send her away that very night...

"Stop, Ruka." She whispered and banished this thought out of her mind. Out of her heart. Her girlfriend was with her. Her soul mate. For the rest of their lives.

"Why?" the tall woman frowned but did as she was told.

"Because Himme-chan and I want to show you something." Michiru giggled and the small child giggled, too, as if she knew what would follow. Hotaru stretched her arms towards her mother and grabbed her hands. Then Michiru helped her on her feet and the small girl walked with unsure steppes towards her daddy.

Haruka's eyes grew wide as she went on her knees. She heard Michiru's proud giggle and saw how her girlfriend let go off their daughter.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Four unsure steps towards her daddy. Hotaru laughed happily as Haruka took her finally in her strong arms and swirled around with her.

"Little princess!"

"Daddy!" screamed the little girl in pleasure. Then the tall woman stopped and dark green eyes looked into deep blue ones. They were full of love.

"Her first steps." Whispered Michiru and suddenly tears ran over her cheeks. But it were no longer tears of sorrow. Now they were tears of joy.

Her first steps...

Haruka looked down at her daughter and felt how Michiru came over to them and embraced them both.

He said she's no child of mine.

The taller senshi smiled and kissed two red cheeks loving.

He doesn't know how wrong he was. She's my child. As much as she's Michiru's child. Our daughter.

Haruka smiled loving at her family and hold her Himme-chan a little bit tighter.

End

As some of you may notice, I like Haruka and Michiru quite more than I like Sailor Uranus and Neptune. Maybe so they're a little bit realer. Or am I simply fed up with all those battles from the anime? (Mostly they're simply boring - especially with Sailor Moon and her strange ballet.)

So I decided to write a story without Sailor Uranus. But with a Tenô Haruka who doesn't know about her destiny. And about a Kaioh Michiru who still searches for her love but stumbles over an illusion and almost lost her closest friend forever.

For me they're meant to be together by destiny, no matter if they're senshi or "normal" people.

Another advantage to write about them as "normal" people: They are able to have the same problems as "normal" people, because they can't solve them with a simple earth shaking or deep submerge.

Maybe Haruka's father sounds unreal, but a) this was my idea while listening to No son of mine and b) there're parents out there who are so blind. Sad but true.

For all who really read all this stuff (about 70 pages on my text program): Arigato! I know, it's quite a long story (if it's still a "short story"). Hope it was worth all your time.

April

04.Octobre - 20.Octobre 2000

9


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